tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-42148952660396077582024-03-12T19:27:41.567-07:00Parental Alienation Disorderregardless of whether this is a syndrome or disorder, the root cause remains the same - child abuse by the custodial parent leading to alienation of the child from one parentCAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.comBlogger58125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-48869351076862047982010-08-22T14:14:00.000-07:002010-08-22T14:14:00.220-07:00Parental Alienation by Joel R. Brandes<strong>NEW YORK LAW JOURNAL, March 26, 2000</strong><br /><br /><span style="font-size:large;"><strong>"PARENTAL ALIENATION"</strong></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:medium;">by <strong>Joel R. Brandes</strong></span><br /><br /><span style=""> </span><br /><span style="">Parental Alienation was recently described as a situation where one parent intentionally attempts to alienate his or her child from the other parent, by poisoning his mind, and usually succeeds.(<a href="http://www.fact.on.ca/Info/pas/brande00.htm#FN1">1</a>) Parental Alienation Syndrome ("PAS") is a disorder that usually arises in the context of child-custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child's unjustified campaign of denigration against a parent. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent's indoctrinations and the child's own contributions to the vilification of the parent.</span><br /><br /><span style="">Where the child's animosity may be justified, such as in a case where there is true parental abuse or neglect, the Parental Alienation Syndrome explanation for the child's hostility is not applicable. The term is applicable only when the target parent has not exhibited anything close to the degree of alienating behavior that might warrant the campaign of vilification exhibited by the child. In typical cases, the victimized parent would be considered by most examiners to have provided normal, loving parenting or, at worst, exhibited minimal impairments in parental capacity. The hallmark of PAS is the exaggeration of minor weaknesses and deficiencies.(<a href="http://www.fact.on.ca/Info/pas/brande00.htm#FN2">2</a>) The parent who programs the child brings about the destruction of the bond between the other parent and the child which, unfortunately, is likely to be lifelong in duration.(<a href="http://www.fact.on.ca/Info/pas/brande00.htm#FN3">3</a>)</span><br /><br /><span style="">We believe that inducing parental alienation in a child is a form of child abuse, which should be punishable as abuse under the Family Court Act. Moreover, a parent who alienates a child against the other parent should be denied visitation with all of his or her children until the child is no longer alienated against the target parent.</span><br /><br /><span style="">Parental alienation has been recognized in New York custody cases since the 1980s, when it was held that a custodial parent's interference with the relationship between a child and a noncustodial parent is "an act so inconsistent with the best interests of the child as to per se raise a strong probability that the offending party is unfit to act as a custodial parent."(<a href="http://www.fact.on.ca/Info/pas/brande00.htm#FN4">4</a>)</span><br /><br /><span style="">In Matter of Karen B. v. Clyde M.,(<a href="http://www.fact.on.ca/Info/pas/brande00.htm#FN5">5</a>) the parties originally had a joint and split custodial arrangement and a comprehensive visitation arrangement. In September 1990, the mother filed a petition to modify, requesting that she "retain all custody and visitation to be supervised, if at all." She alleged a change of circumstances, in that "Mandi had disclosed sexual advances and behavior problems because of concerns. Also it is not good for her physical, emotional and social well being to go back and forth between parents. Social Services is currently investigating." As a result of her allegations, the court entered a temporary order requiring the father's visitations with Mandi to be supervised.</span><br /><br /><span style="">According to the mother, in September 1990 Mandi disclosed to her certain sexual abuse perpetrated on Mandi by her father. He allegedly put his finger in her "peer." When she said that it hurt, he told her that he could do what he wanted. She also claimed that her Daddy's "dinkie" got bigger and "stuff came out." The mother reported this to a friend of hers, employed by Community Maternity Services, who went to her home and investigated. The child and mother were interviewed by a child sexual abuse therapist specializing in victims of ages 2-1/2 to 18 years. The mother repeated all of the allegations to the therapist, and additionally stated that on Sept. 9, Mandi had told her that the respondent has put his "peer" on her "peer" and that he had put his hand under the covers of the bed and touched her buns stating, "You know, like you take your temperature." The expert observed no outward signs of emotion when the mother spoke to her and found that the mother seemed to be repeating the story by rote, and that she couldn't respond to questions without starting from the beginning and completing the entire story. The expert concluded that there was no information that would indicate that Mandi had been sexually abused by her father.</span><br /><br /><span style="">The court held that a parent who denigrates the other by casting the false aspersion of child sex abuse, and involving the child as an instrument to achieve his or her selfish purpose, is not fit to continue in the role of a parent. It found that it would be in Mandi's best interests that her custody be awarded to her father. It stated "As the court has no assurance that the mother will not continue to 'brainwash' or 'program' Mandi, petitioner shall have no visitation nor contact with her daughter."</span><br /><br /><span style="">The Third Department affirmed.(<a href="http://www.fact.on.ca/Info/pas/brande00.htm#FN6">6</a>) It noted that the Family Court found that petitioner had programmed Mandi to make the sexual abuse allegations in order to obtain sole custody and deny access to respondent. It held that the fact that Family Court made reference to a book regarding parental alienation syndrome, which was neither entered into evidence nor referred to by any witness, was not a ground for reversal, especially in light of all the testimony elicited at the hearing.</span><br /><br /><span style="">In RB v. SB,(<a href="http://www.fact.on.ca/Info/pas/brande00.htm#FN7">7</a>) the trial court found that prior to their separation in October 1994, the father (R.B.) and son (A.B.) had an extremely close relationship. They spent time together playing basketball and working on A.B.'s homework. R.B. walked A.B. to school in the mornings and regularly attended school functions. In August 1994, R.B.'s relationship with A.B. deteriorated substantially. The record was replete with numerous examples of the mother's (S.B.) campaign to poison A.B.'s relationship with his father. R.B. repeatedly asked S.B. to refrain from speaking to A.B. about these issues until after A.B.'s bar mitzvah the following Sunday. In response, S.B. reiterated her threats involving A.B. The court concluded that A.B.'s four-year estrangement from R.B. was the result of S.B.'s vindictive and relentless decision to alienate A.B. from his father. The court found that beginning in August 1994, S.B. engaged in a campaign to poison the relationship between A.B. and R.B. and effectively alienated A.B. from R.B. for approximately four years. During the four years when A.B. would neither see nor speak to his father, S.B. repeatedly referred to R.B. in front of A.B. as "evil," a "thief," an "embezzler" and a "liar." She told R.B. he would never see his son without her supervision, and attempted to condition visitation upon increased support. She told R.B. she wanted A.B. to "hate his f--guts."</span><br /><br /><span style="">The court held that S.B.'s intentional interference in R.B.'s relationship with his son, to the point where A.B. refused to see or speak to R.B. for nearly four years, was an appropriate factor for the court to consider pursuant to D.R.L. 236(B)(6)(11) in setting maintenance. It found that S.B. permanently damaged R.B.'s relationship with A.B. The court refused to order support to S.B. so that she could maintain her prior standard of living. Instead, it directed that R.B. pay to S.B. only those amounts S.B. reasonably needed to meet her daily living expenses so as not to diminish A.B.'s lifestyle. The award of maintenance and child support was contingent upon S.B. ensuring that the visitation schedule established by the court at the conclusion of the trial was adhered to. The court directed that it would entertain a motion by R.B. to terminate maintenance and decrease or terminate child support upon a showing that S.B. interfered with the visitation established by the court in any manner.</span><br /><h3><span style="">First New York Court</span></h3><br /><span style="">In Matter of JF v. LF, (<a href="http://www.fact.on.ca/Info/pas/brande00.htm#FN8">8</a>) the Family Court became the first New York court to discuss PAS at length in a custody decision. It pointed out that the theory is controversial, and noted that according to one of the expert witnesses who testified, the syndrome is not approved as a term by the American Psychiatric Society, and it is not in DSM-IV as a psychiatric diagnosis.</span><br /><br /><span style="">Parenthetically, we note that the DSM-IV,(<a href="http://www.fact.on.ca/Info/pas/brande00.htm#FN9">9</a>) which was published in 1994, cautions that "DSM-IV reflects a consensus about the classification and diagnosis of mental disorders derived at the time of its initial publication. New knowledge will undoubtedly lead to the identification of new disorders."</span><br /><br /><span style="">The Family Court acknowledged that New York cases have not discussed PAS as a theory, but have discussed the issue in terms of whether the child has been programmed to disfavor the noncustodial parent, thus warranting a change in custody.</span><br /><br /><span style="">The court observed the children and found them to be both highly intelligent and articulate. Yet, when discussing their father and his family, they presented themselves "at times in a surreal way with a pseudo-maturity which is unnatural and, even, strange." They seemed like "little adults." The court found that the children's opinions about their father were unrealistic and cruel. They spoke about and to him in a way which seemed to be malicious. Both children used identical language in dismissing the happy times they spent with their father as evidenced in a videotape and picture album as "Kodak moments." They denied anything positive in their relationship with their father to an unnatural extreme. The court concluded that nothing in the father's behavior warranted that treatment.</span><br /><br /><span style="">Three expert witnesses testified that the children were aligned in an unhealthy manner with the mother and her family. One expert testified that the "...[M]other has clearly won the war over the children's minds and hearts and the father is generally helpless to offset that. Children, likewise, are deeply attached in a symbiotic fashion with their mother ... Father is painted in a highly derogatory and negative fashion, way out of proportion to any possible deficiencies that he may have. This is clearly a borderline mental device within the mother's psychology which has been clearly duplicated in the children. The overall prognosis for any major change in their attitude would appear to be quite limited at this time, even with expert psychiatric assistance."</span><br /><br /><span style="">The court-appointed psychologist concluded that the PAS was "clear" and "definite" with both children.</span><br /><br /><span style="">The father's expert submitted a report to the court in which he stated that the alienation from the father was probably the most severe case of alienation he had ever witnessed as a child psychiatrist.</span><br /><br /><span style="">The court accepted the testimony of the mental health professionals to the extent that they indicated that the mother alienated the children from the father. It found that the children would have no relationship with the father if left in the custody of their mother, and that they would continue to be psychologically damaged if they remained living with her. Their negative view of their father was out of all proportion to reality. The court found that the mother had succeeded in causing parental alienation of the children from their father, such that they not only wished to cease having frequent and regular visitation, but actually desired to have nothing to do with him. It awarded sole custody to him and suspended her right to visitation.</span><br /><br /><span style="">The court did not specifically base its decision on a finding of PAS. Instead, it relied on the case law, which requires the custodial parent to nurture the child's relationship with the noncustodial parent, and ensures access by the noncustodial parent,(<a href="http://www.fact.on.ca/Info/pas/brande00.htm#FN10">10</a>) pointing out that interfering with the child's "relationship with the noncustodial parent, has been said to be so inconsistent with the child's best interest as to per se raise a strong probability of unfitness."(<a href="http://www.fact.on.ca/Info/pas/brande00.htm#FN11">11</a>)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:small;"><a name="FN1">1. R.B. v. S.B.</a>, <em>New York Law Journal</em>, 3-31-99, page 29, col. 5, Sup. Ct., NY Co. (Silberman, J),</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:small;"><a name="FN2">2. Gardner, R.A.</a>, <em>The Parental Alienation Syndrome, Second Edition</em> (1998)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:small;"><a name="FN3">3. See Gardner, R.A.</a>, <em>The Parental Alienation Syndrome (2d Edition) Addendum I</em> (1999)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:small;"><a name="FN4">4. <em>Entwistle v. Entwistle</em></a>, 61 AD2d 380, 384-5.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:small;"><a name="FN5">5. <em>Karen B. v. Clyde M.</em>, 151 Misc2d 794, aff'd, 197 A.D.2d 753 (3d Dept, 1999).</a></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:small;"><a name="FN6">6.</a> Id.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:small;"><a name="FN7">7.</a> See note 1, supra</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:small;"><a name="FN8">8. 694 NYS2d 592</a>, 1999 N.Y. Slip Op. 99408</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:small;"><a name="FN9">9. American Psychiatric Association</a>, <em>Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition</em>, 1994 at p. xxiii.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:small;"><a name="FN10">10. <em>Daghir v. Daghir</em></a>, 82 AD2d 191, aff'd 56 NY2d 938.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:small;"><a name="FN11">11. CITING, INTER ALIA, MALONEY V. MALONEY</a>, 208 AD2D 603, 603-604; YOUNG V. YOUNG, 212 AD2D 114, 115; ENTWISTLE V. ENTWISTLE, SUPRA.</span><br /><br /><hr /><span style="font-size:small;">Joel R. Brandes has law offices in Garden City and New York City. He co-authored the nine-volume <em>Law and the Family New York</em> and <em>Law and the Family New York Forms.</em></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:small;">3/28/2000 NYLJ 3, (col. 1)</span><br /><br /><a href="http://www.fact.on.ca/Info/pas/brande00.htm">"Parental Alienation" - Joel R. Brandes</a>.CAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-5019478313087965322010-08-20T10:00:00.000-07:002010-08-20T10:00:03.079-07:00Alec Baldwin on Parental Alienation Syndrome<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4WPaE8s2Occ?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4WPaE8s2Occ?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>CAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-72714060057949226652010-08-19T14:00:00.000-07:002010-08-19T14:00:01.146-07:00Case Law on Parental Alienation Syndrome and Parental Alienation Disorder<div id="left_column"><br /><div id="content"><br /><h1>PAS Case Law</h1><br />The purpose of this page is to provide the visitor with an overview of important PAS case law. The citations are in Blue Book format and are followed by a short explanation of the case.<br /><h4>Need for Proof in PAS Cases</h4><br /><em>Coursey v. Super. Ct.</em>, 194 Cal. App. 3d 147; 239 Cal. Rptr. 365 (Cal. Ct. App. 1987).<br /><br />Alienated fourteen-year-old daughter refused to visit her father pursuant to the terms of a stipulated order. The mother was found in contempt. On appeal, the court found that absent evidence of intent, it could not be inferred that failure of visitation was willful on mother's part.<br /><h4>Constitutional Rights and PAS</h4><br /><em>Schutz v. Schutz</em>, 581 So. 2d 1290 (Fla. 1991).<br /><br />Alientor mother appealed order to do everything in her power to create in the minds of her children a loving, caring feeling towards their father, claiming a violation of her First Amendment rights. Court found any burden on those rights to be merely incidental.<br /><h4>Best Interests of the Child and PAS</h4><br /><em>In re Violetta B.</em>, 210 Ill. App. 3d 521,524; 568 N.E.2d 1345 (Ill. App. Ct. 1991).<br /><br />Court reversed decision to transfer custody of four-year-old from foster mother to paternal grandmother based on psychologist's expert testimony that a transfer of custody would cause irreparable trauma. Court concluded that best interest of the child should control the decision.<br /><h4>Spurious Allegations of Child Abuse</h4><br /><em>Karen B. v. Clyde M.</em>, 151 Misc. 2d 794; 574 N.Y.S.2d 267 (N.Y. Fam. Ct. 1991).<br /><br />Mother's allegations of sex abuse of child by father found baseless after court considered trained validator's testimony as to no abuse and verbatim similarity between mother and daughter's statements. Court likened mother's behavior to that of Medea.<br /><h4>Abusing Visitation</h4><br /><em>Zigmont fka Toto v. Toto</em>, No. 62149, 1992 WL 6034 at *2 (Ohio Ct. App. Jan. 16, 1992).<br /><br />After considering the appellant's erratic behavior in exercising his visitation, and the resulting psychological problems of the children, the court found it both just and reasonable for trial court to limit visitation to a specific schedule.<br /><h4>Court's Discretion re PAS and Custody</h4><br /><em>Wiederholt v. Fischer</em>, 169 Wis. 2d 524; 485 N.W.2d 442 (Wis. Ct. App. 1992).<br /><br />Despite psychologist's testimony that PAS was the worst he had seen, the court concluded that the evidence was not strong enough to be cured by placing children with father, noting that the cure was controversial and the success of the treatment was limited.<br /><h4>Using PAS as a Defense</h4><br /><em>Truax v. Truax</em>, 110 Nev. 437; 874 P.2d 10 (Nev. 1994).<br /><br />Father claimed that because of PAS, the testimony of the court-appointed special advocate (CASA) was skewed in favor of mother. CASA recommended that custody be changed to mother, citing abuse by step-sister. Bite mark on son tipped the scales for the court.<br /><h4>Attacking the Validity of PAS</h4><br /><em>In re Marriage of Rosenfeld</em>, 524 N.W.2d 212 (Iowa Ct. App. 1994).<br /><br />Father severely alienated children from mother. The court found the only way to correct the situation was to place children with mother. On appeal, father attacked validity of PAS and testimony of mother's expert. Court focused instead on parties' behavior.<br /><h4>Rebutting PAS through Child Testimony</h4><br /><em>White v. White</em>, 655 N.E.2d 523, 526 (Ind. Ct. App. 1995).<br /><br />Psychologist on whom mother had insisted testified that she was engaging in PAS and that she excessively hostile toward father. Mother attempted to rebut expert's testimony by putting 10-year-old son on stand. Trial court refused to subject son to the process. Affirmed on appeal.<br /><h4>Placing Children with an Alienated Parent</h4><br /><em>Tucker fka Greenberg v. Greenberg</em>, 674 So. 2d 807 (Fla. Dist. Ct. App. 1996).<br /><br />In a trial arising over a visitation dispute, court noted that former wife was obsessed with making shared parenting as difficult as possible for father. Both trial and appellate courts decided best decision was to place children with the alienated parent.<br /><h4>PAS not Gender-Specific</h4><br /><em>Williams v. Williams</em>, 676 So. 2d 493 (Fla. Dist. Ct. App. 1996).<br /><br />In Williams, the court took custody from an alienating father and vested it with the alienated mother. Williams demonstrates the non-gender-specific nature of PAS.<br /><h4>PAS and Extreme Tactics</h4><br /><em>Hanson v. Spolnik</em>, 685 N.E.2d 71 (Ind. 1997).<br /><br />Father and mother were awarded joint custody. Mother then engaged in extreme tactics that included false allegations of sexual abuse and comments that father had AIDS and that he had hired a hit man. On appeal, court found modification of joint custody was necessary.<br /><h4>Contesting Concept of PAS in New York</h4><br /><em>In the Matter of J.F. v. L.F.</em>,181 Misc. 2d 722; 694 N.Y.S.2d 592 (N.Y. Fam. Ct. 1999).<br /><br />By order to show cause against mother, father applied for custody. Annexed to order was psychiatrist's affidavit recommending custody change. Mother bitterly contested concept of PAS. The court nonetheless found that mother had alienated children from father.<br /><h4>Court-Appointed Experts and Bias</h4><br /><em>Pathan v. Pathan</em>, No. 17729, 2000 WL 43711 (Ohio Ct. App. Jan. 21, 2000).<br /><br />Court-appointed psychologist showed significant bias against Pakistani father, who asked for an independent evaluation. The court noted that mother was the primary offender. Nonetheless, the court merely opined that if mother did not mend her ways, custody might change.<br /><h4>Mutual Alienation</h4><br /><em>Spencley v. Spencley</em>, No. 219801, 2000 WL 33519710 (Mich. Ct. App. Apr. 7, 2000).<br /><br />Parents engaged in mutual alienation made complaints against state for its determination of abuse and neglect. On appeal, mother challenged concept of PAS; however, the court found ample evidence of emotional injury, and that PAS was used in an explanatory manner.<br /><h4>Need to Show Change of Circumstances</h4><br /><em>Chambers v. Chambers</em>, No. CA99-688, 2000 WL 795278 (Ark. Ct. App. June 21, 2000).<br /><br />Trial court concluded that prolonged alienation was so successful that there was no hope of re-integration between father and children. On appeal, the court found that father had failed to show requisite change of circumstances to warrant the court's intervention.<br /><h4>Ignoring Expert Testimony</h4><br /><em>Kirk v. Kirk</em>, 770 N.E.2d 304 (Ind. 2002).<br /><br />In Kirk, the Indiana Supreme Court overturned an appellate decision, ignoring copious expert testimony regarding parental alienation syndrome and the spurious nature of mother's sexual abuse claims.<br /><br /></div><br /></div><br /><a href="http://pasattorney.com/pas-case-law.htm">Parental Alienation Syndrome</a>.CAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-54056545479632495162010-07-21T11:05:00.000-07:002010-07-21T11:05:00.999-07:00Poison Parents - a book on Parental Alienation<div><div><strong><span style="font-family:verdana,geneva;font-size:180%;color:#990000;"><br /></span></strong></div><div><span style="font-family:verdana,geneva;font-size:85%;">'Poison Parents' is a powerful book, dealing with all aspects of the parental alienation syndrome which tears loving relationships between parents and children apart in the post-divorce and separation environment. It explores the devastating effect that malicious parenting can have on impressionable children, the target parent and extended family and friends. Drawing an interesting parallel between personality disorder and alienating behavior, 'Poison Parents' exposes the syndrome and offers insightful ways of coping with and combating the insidiously destructive campaign of hate. Written by Criminologist, Grace Humphreys, it is a must-read for anyone who knows a child or children involved in a post-divorce tug-o-war between parents.<br /> <br /></span><!--"''"--></div> </div> <span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="color:#990000;">"<em>Parents wonder why the streams are bitter, when they themselves have poisoned the fountain," </em>John Locke 1632-1704<br /><br /></span>The only way to combat Parental Alienation is by educating family and friends about the syndrome and creating more public awareness.<br /> <br />This book moves away from the clinical, academic approach to discuss the subject clearly and simply. It is enriched by real stories - both tragic and hopeful.<br /><br />You don't need a Ph.D to realize that this a book from the heart, it is well intentioned and reader friendly. It has upset at least one "expert" yet has received praise from many including this from a Professor at Law: <span style="color:#ff33cc;"><br /><br />"thank you for your excellent book..you have an ideal open-mindeness and worldview"</span> </span>CAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-86953186686092438852010-06-07T17:45:00.000-07:002010-06-07T17:45:00.268-07:00Judge jails mother who falsely accused ex of sex abuse and alienated him from kids<span style="font-style: italic;">We need to see more of this kind of action against children that are held hostage by the custodial parent. It is estimated that 40 percent of all custodial parents alienate children from the other parent. It is a hate crime to deny children the right to be with the other parent.</span><br /><br /><h1>Nassau County judge jails mother who falsely accused ex of sex abuse and alienated him from kids </h1> <div class="new_timestamp">June 7, 7:38 AM<img src="http://image.examiner.com/img/greydot.gif" style="padding: 0pt;" align="absmiddle" border="0" /><a onclick="s_objectID='article-head_examiner-index';" href="http://www.examiner.com/x-14537-Albany-CPS-and-Family-Court-Examiner" style="text-decoration: none;">Albany CPS and Family Court Examiner</a><img src="http://image.examiner.com/img/greydot.gif" style="padding: 0pt;" align="absmiddle" border="0" />Daniel Weaver</div> <div class="iconpanel" style="font-size: 11px; font-weight: bold;"> <div style="float: right;"> <a class="ovalbutton prevnext" href="http://www.examiner.com/x-14537-Albany-CPS-and-Family-Court-Examiner%7Ey2010m6d7-Saratoga-dad-lost-custody-partly-due-to-court-ordered-evaluation-by-arrested-Dr-Steven-B-Feldman" onclick="s_objectID='article-head_previous';" style="margin: 0pt;"><span style="padding-left: 5px;"> Previous</span></a> </div><a href="http://www.examiner.com/x-14537-Albany-CPS-and-Family-Court-Examiner%7Ey2010m6d7-Nassau-County-judge-jails-mother-who-falsely-accused-ex-of-sex-abuse-and-alienated-him-from-kids#" style="display: block; float: left; padding: 0pt 5px 0pt 0pt;" onclick="Ex.RT.reTweet('http://www.examiner.com/x-14537-Albany-CPS-and-Family-Court-Examiner~y2010m6d7-Nassau-County-judge-jails-mother-who-falsely-accused-ex-of-sex-abuse-and-alienated-him-from-kids');s_objectID='ReTweet';"><img src="http://image.examiner.com/img/icon/tinytweets.gif" style="padding: 0pt;" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Eexaminer%2Ecom%2Fx%2D14537%2DAlbany%2DCPS%2Dand%2DFamily%2DCourt%2DExaminer%7Ey2010m6d7%2DNassau%2DCounty%2Djudge%2Djails%2Dmother%2Dwho%2Dfalsely%2Daccused%2Dex%2Dof%2Dsex%2Dabuse%2Dand%2Dalienated%2Dhim%2Dfrom%2Dkids" style="display: block; float: left; padding: 0pt 5px 0pt 0pt;" target="_blank"> <img src="http://image.examiner.com/img/icon/tinyfb.gif" style="padding: 0pt;" border="0" /></a> <a class="ovalbutton" href="javascript:doNothing();" onclick="location.href = '#comments'; s_objectID='article-options_comment';" title="comments"> <span> 2 comments </span></a> <a href="javascript:donothing();" style="display: block; float: left; padding: 0pt 5px 0pt 0pt;" title="Print this page" onclick="printpopUp( '/blog/printexaminerarticles.cfm?section=examiners,examiners&blogtype=examiners&mode=alias&blogid=14537&blogURL=Albany-CPS-and-Family-Court-Examiner&byYear=2010&byMonth=6&byDay=7&byAlias=Nassau-County-judge-jails-mother-who-falsely-accused-ex-of-sex-abuse-and-alienated-him-from-kids');return false;" rel="nofollow"><img src="http://image.examiner.com/img/icon/printer.gif" style="padding: 0pt;" border="0" /></a> <a href="javascript:donothing();" title="Email this page" style="display: block; float: left; padding: 0pt 5px 0pt 0pt;" id="emailshow"><img src="http://image.examiner.com/img/email.gif" style="padding: 0pt;" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://rss.examiner.com/RSS-14537-Albany-CPS-and-Family-Court-Examiner.rss" style="display: block; float: left; padding: 0pt 5px 0pt 0pt;" onclick="s_objectID='article-options_RSS';" title="RSS Feed"><img src="http://image.examiner.com/img/icon/feed.gif" style="padding: 0pt;" border="0" /></a> <span><a id="subscribeshow" href="http://www.examiner.com/x-14537-Albany-CPS-and-Family-Court-Examiner%7Ey2010m6d7-Nassau-County-judge-jails-mother-who-falsely-accused-ex-of-sex-abuse-and-alienated-him-from-kids#" class=" ovalbutton"><span><img src="http://image.examiner.com/img/icon/subscribe.gif" style="padding: 0pt 5px 0pt 0pt;" align="left" border="0" /> Subscribe</span></a> <div id="subscribecontent" class="hide" style="display: none; width: 590px; clear: both;"> <div style="float: right;"><a id="subscribeshowX" href="http://www.examiner.com/x-14537-Albany-CPS-and-Family-Court-Examiner%7Ey2010m6d7-Nassau-County-judge-jails-mother-who-falsely-accused-ex-of-sex-abuse-and-alienated-him-from-kids#"><img src="http://image.examiner.com/img/Global-Template/locationclose.gif" border="0" /></a></div> <h2>Subscribe</h2> <br /> <span id="myformgoeshere"> <div class="exGreyBorder" style="padding-left: 2px; margin-bottom: 7px;"> <form id="this14537" class="linkform" style="padding: 0pt; margin: 0pt;" method="post" onsubmit="submitForm('this14537','subscriberbottom14537','examiners','TOPICEXAMINER_14537_Albany-CPS-and-Family-Court-Examiner','14537','14537','Albany-CPS-and-Family-Court-Examiner'); return false;"> <span style="font-weight: normal;">Get alerts when there is a new article from the Albany CPS and Family Court Examiner. 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V Ted R. The mother's behavior reached a crescendo, according to Judge Ross, when she made a false report of sexual abuse against the father to Child Protective Services.</p><p>The factual findings concerning the mother's behavior as stated in the decision by Judge Ross are extensive but worth reading in their entirety as they form a basis for his decision.</p><p>Concerning the plaintiff's (mother's) behavior, Judge Ross stated:</p><p>"Plaintiff intentionally scheduled their child's (N.'s) birthday party on a Sunday afternoon during defendant's weekend visitation, and then refused to permit defendant to attend. She demanded that N. be returned home early, in order to "prepare" for her party, but D., the other child, was enjoying the time with her father and wished to remain with him until the party began. Plaintiff castigated N. for "daring" to invite her father to take a picture of her outside her party. According to the plaintiff, "this doesn't work for me!" Plaintiff threatened to cancel N.'s party, and warned her that her sister, too, would be punished "big time" for wanting to spend time with her father. Plaintiff's taped temper tantrum, offered into evidence, vividly detailed one instance of how D. and N. have been made to understand that enjoying time with their father will be met with their mother's wrath and threat of punishment."</p><p><strong>Mother consistently lied about father's custody rights</strong></p> <p>"Plaintiff conceded that when she completed N.'s registration card for XXX., she wrote that defendant is "not authorized to take them. I have custody. Please call me." At trial, she claimed to fear that defendant would retrieve the girls directly from school. However, she later admitted that defendant had never even attempted to pick them up at school. Her testimony at trial sharply contradicted her sworn affidavit dated January 23, 2008, in which she stated that "the defendant consistently attempts to pick up the girls unannounced from their schools and activities, which disrupts not only the girls, but those in charge of the aforementioned." In her sworn affidavit, plaintiff claimed that she completed the registration card because defendant sought to attend the end of D.'s art class and then had the audacity to drive his daughter home. The art class "incident" occurred well after the registration card was completed by the plaintiff. Moreover, nothing in the parties' agreement prohibits the defendant from visiting the children at extra-curricular events or from driving them to or from such events. In point of fact, there was no dispute that D.'s Friday art class in Huntington ended as defendant's alternate weekend visitation commenced."</p> <p>"Plaintiff wrote to Dr. L.<sup>1</sup> (then the XXX. principal) and Ms. T. (N.'s fifth grade teacher), demanding that they restrict their conversations with the defendant to N.'s academics, as plaintiff is "solely responsible for her academic progress and emotional well being. Notwithstanding the nature of their joint legal custody plaintiff insisted before me that, "I have custody, he has visitation.""</p> <p>"The plaintiff made/completed an application for admission to XXX on behalf of N. in October, 2007. On the application, she checked the box "Mother has custody," rather than the box directly below which says "Joint custody." She identified her new husband, R. L., as N.'s "parent/guardian," and she failed to mention the defendant. During cross examination, plaintiff insisted that she only omitted reference to the defendant for fear that his financial circumstances would adversely impact N.'s chances for acceptance. However, no financial information was requested anywhere on the application. Moreover, plaintiff acknowledged that none was required until after an applicant was invited to attend."</p> <p>"By applying to XXX without defendant's knowledge - - but with N. completely involved in the process, plaintiff orchestrated the decision to be made, as well as alienating the child. Had the defendant not consented to N.'s attendance at XXX, after the fact, N. would be angry with him for purportedly interfering with the enrollment, even if defendant's objections to a private school placement were sound. In no event was he consulted as to this educational decision."</p> <p>"When asked how she might handle things differently now, plaintiff did not indicate that she would first discuss the possibility of a private school with the defendant, as she is obligated to do pursuant to the Stipulation."</p> <p>"In a similar pattern of being advised "after the fact," defendant testified that there were countless times when plaintiff deliberately scheduled theater tickets, family events and social activities for the girls during his visitation, and he was compelled to consent or risk disappointing the girls. These occurrences continued even during the time span of proceedings before me."</p><p><strong>Mother claims children don't want to see father</strong></p> <p>"Plaintiff was forced to concede at trial that the defendant was prevented from enjoying his visitation rights after he returned with the girls from his niece's Bat Mitzvah until this Court granted defendant's emergency application to compel the plaintiff to allow the defendant to take D. and N. for the ski trip he had scheduled for his half of the Christmas recess. Plaintiff insisted that it was D. and N. who refused to see their father, because they were angry with the 'choices" he had made on their behalf, including his objection to N. attending XXX. Defendant was made aware of the children's position because they parroted their mother's demands on several occasions. D. even read from a script during the brief dinners he was permitted. As plaintiff wrote in one e-mail when she was describing her role with respect to the children: "I am in charge here, not them. What I [sic] say goes. They may bring their shoes. You are responsible for the rest. End of story.""</p> <p>"In vivid testimony, the defendant recalled how the plaintiff willfully prevented him from exercising his rights to visitation with the children from November 4, 2007 through December 21, 2007. I observed the plaintiff smirk in the courtroom as defendant emotionally related how he was deprived of spending Hanukkah with his children, and was relegated to lighting a menorah and watching his daughters open their grandparents' presents in the back of his truck at the base of plaintiff's driveway on a December evening."</p> <p>"The fact that the children were as angry as they were with the defendant in November and December, 2007, demonstrates, in my view, that efforts to alienate the children and their father were seemingly effective. The children demanded that defendant meet "their" demands before they would permit him to visit with them again. They demanded that defendant permit N. to attend F. A., that he withdraw his objection to their participation in therapy with their mother's therapist, and that he pay for 75% of D.'s Bat Mitzvah but limit his invitations to a handful of guests and have no role in the planning of the event. Plaintiff's contention that she had no involvement in these children's "demands" was belied by the very fact that the children had intimate knowledge of their mother's position on all of these issues. The children, in effect, were evolved into plaintiff's sub-agents and negotiators, having specific details of the financial demands of the plaintiff, and information as to the marital agreement."</p> <p>"The mother alluded to the ambivalence of the children in seeing the defendant. But such abrogation to the children's wishes, under these circumstances, was in violation of the agreement. It was wholly improper for the mother to adhere to the children's wishes to forego visitation with their father (see, Matter of Hughes v. Wiegman, 150 AD2d 449)."</p> <p>"Plaintiff half-heartedly testified that she wants the children to have a relationship with the defendant. Her view of the defendant's role was a numbing, desired nominality, evident by her actions that were without any semblance of involvement by the defendant - - notwithstanding the clear joint custodial provisions. At critical points in the cross-examination, plaintiff was noticeably off balance - - hesitating and defensive - - with answers that dovetailed to either narcissism, or, a poor grasp of the affects of her conduct. The plaintiff was dispassionate, sullen, and passively resistant to the alienating efforts of the plaintiff. The continued litany of instances of alienating conduct, turned repression of the defendant's joint custodial arrangement into farce. The endurance in recounting instance upon instance of alienating conduct herein, was as daunting as it was indefensible."</p><p><strong>Mother calls father f-----g asshole & other names in front of children</strong></p> <p>"Plaintiff relegated the defendant to waiting endlessly at the bottom of her long driveway. When defendant drove up her driveway on October 26, 2007, so that the children would not have to walk down with their heavy bags in a torrential rain, plaintiff ran down the driveway where she had left her car, drove up the driveway and blocked defendant's vehicle. The children watched as the police listened to their mother angrily demand that their father be arrested and, when the police refused, heard their mother scream that she is a taxpayer and the police work for her. She frequently disparaged the defendant in the presence of the children, calling him a "deadbeat," "loser," "scumbag," and "f——-g asshole." On one particular occasion, while holding N. and D. in her arms, plaintiff said to the defendant, "We all hope you die from cancer." Just this past summer, when defendant insisted that D. retrieve her clothes from plaintiff's home in preparation for their visit to N. on her camp visiting day, plaintiff urged to defendant that "Judge Ross will not be around forever, d___." Before the beginning of each of defendant's vacations with the children, the plaintiff staged prolonged and tearful farewells at the base of the driveway, during which plaintiff assured the children that they will return to "their family soon," and if "things get too bad, they can always tell Daddy to bring them home.""</p><p><strong>Mother accuses father of sexual abuse</strong></p> <p>"The crescendo of the plaintiff's conduct involved accusations of sexual abuse. Plaintiff falsely accused defendant of sexual misconduct in June, 2008, shortly after defendant moved to Huntington and the children's friends were enjoying play dates at defendant's home. Plaintiff testified that D. shared that she was uncomfortable when the defendant tickles her, and conceded that she knew there was nothing "sexual" involved. Undaunted by the lack of any genuine concern for D.'s safety, plaintiff pursued a campaign to report the defendant to Child Protective Services. To facilitate this, she spoke with W. M, the psychologist at the school D. attended. Plaintiff also "encouraged" D. to advise Dr. C. (the chidren's pediatrician) that defendant inappropriately touched her - - but he saw no signs of abuse. Plaintiff also advised Dr. A., Ms. M., Dr. R. (the children's prior psychologist) and family friends of the allegations and, ultimately, the Suffolk County Department of Social Services opened a file on June 3, 2008, and began an investigation."</p> <p>"According to the Case Narrative contained in the New York State Case Registry, a complaint was made that "On a regular basis, father inappropriately fondles 13 year old D.'s breasts. This makes D. feel very uncomfortable. Last Sunday, Father hit D. on the breast for unknown reason… " When the caseworker and Suffolk County detectives interviewed D. on June 3, 2008, she reported only that her father tickles her on her neck and under her arms, and she categorically denied her father ever fondled her breasts. She admitted that her father was not attempting to make her uncomfortable, but that he still regards her to be a tomboy. The detectives closed their investigation."</p> <p>"Thereafter, and significantly, when the CPS caseworker met with plaintiff on August 19, 2008, plaintiff was quick to state that her ex-husband "did it again." Plaintiff claimed that the defendant hugged D. too hard. According to the caseworker's notes, the caseworker repeatedly cautioned the plaintiff not to bring the children into her disputes with the defendant. This warning was contained in CPS records."</p> <p>"Although unfounded child abuse reports are required to be sealed (see, Social Services Law §422[5]), such reports may be introduced into evidence,"by the subject of the report where such subject… is a plaintiff or petitioner in a civil action or proceeding alleging the false reporting of child abuse or maltreatment" (Social Services Law §422[5][b][1]). Allegations that defendant had injured the child were found to be baseless and, by making such allegations, plaintiff needlessly subjected the child to an investigation by Child Protective Services, placing her own interests above those of the child. This report was not made in "good faith" - - rather, the investigating agency warned the mother not to re-utilize the allegations and her children in her custodial litigation with the defendant."</p><p><strong>Mother's behavior not affected by pending contempt proceeding</strong></p> <p>"The concern of a pending contempt proceeding did not affect the plaintiff's conduct. For example, knowing that defendant had parenting access with D. on July 3, 2009, plaintiff invited D.'s close friend, C. C., to a country club for a fireworks display and advised D. of this invitation. She then instructed D. to tell her father she was invited to a friend's party on that date. Another example occurred on June 13, 2009, when plaintiff quietly escorted D. from Alice Tulley Hall during the intermission, ignoring the instructions from the G. Y. Orchestra staff that everyone remain until the conclusion of the entire program. Plaintiff purported she was unaware that defendant attended this special program in Lincoln Center. Defendant, who was in attendance at the concert, was left waiting at the stage door with flowers for D. Plaintiff ignored his text messages questioning where his daughter was. The plaintiff, when confronted with the notion that she may have precipitously ushered her daughter away before her father was able to give her flowers, retorted to the Court that "it was not her responsibility to make plans for T.""</p> <p>"The evidence before me demonstrates a pattern of willful and calculated violations of the clear and express dictates of the parties' Stipulation of Settlement, incorporated but not merged into their Judgment of Divorce. The extensive record is replete with instances of attempts to undermine the relationship between the children and their father and replace him with her new husband, manipulation of defendant's parenting access, utter and unfettered vilification of the defendant to the children, false reporting of sexual misconduct without any semblance of "good faith," and her imposition upon the children to fear her tirades and punishment if they embrace the relationship they want to have with their father. The unfortunate history here also reflects the plaintiff's hiring and firing of three different counsel, expressed disdain towards the children's attorney, and utter disregard for the authority of the Court."</p><p><strong>Judge Ross discusses parental alienation</strong></p><p>Aware of the controversy surrounding the subject of parental alienation, Judge Ross spent some time addressing the issue in his decision.</p><p>Ross said:</p><p>"Differing "alienation" theories promoted by many public advocacy groups, as well as psychological and legal communities, have differing scientific and empirical foundations. However, interference with the non-custodial parent's relationship with a child has always been considered in the context of a "parent's ability to encourage the relationship between the non-custodial parent and a child," a factor to be considered by the Court in custody and visitation/parental access determinations. See, Eschbach v. Eschbach, supra. Our Appellate Courts recognize such factor, as they have determined that the "interference with the non-custodial parent and child's relationship is an act so inconsistent with the best interests of a child, as to, per se, raise a strong probability that the offending party is unfit to act as a custodial parent." See, Leistner v. Leistner, 137 AD2d 499; Finn v. Finn, 176 AD2d 1132, 1133, quoting Entwistle v. Entwistle, 61 AD2d 380, 384-385, appeal dismissed 44 NY2d 851; Matter of Krebsbach v. Gallagher, 181 AD2d 363, 366; Gago v. Acevedo, 214 AD2d 565; Matter of Turner v. Turner, 260 AD2d 953, 954; Zeiz v. Slater, 57 AD2d 793."</p> <p>"Where, as in the instant case, there is a finding of a willful violation of a court order demonstrated by a deliberate interference with a non-custodial parent's right to visitation/parental access, the IAS Court, as a general rule, must schedule an evidentiary hearing before making any modification of custody. See, Glenn v. Glenn, 262 AD2d 885. See, also, Entwistle v. Entwistle, 61 AD2d 380; Young v. Young, 212 AD2d 114; Matter of LeBlanc v. Morrison, 288 AD2d 768, 770, quoting Matter of Markey v. Bederian, 274 AD2d 816; Matter of David WW v. Lauren QQ, 42 AD3d 685; Goldstein v. Goldstein, 2009 N.Y. Slip Op. 08995 [Dec. 1, 2009]."</p><p><strong>The sentence and justification for the sentence</strong></p><p>Judge Ross found Lauren R. in civil contempt of court. She will spend every other weekend in the Nassau County Correctional Facility during June, July and August.</p><p>Judge Ross acknowleged that "An imposition of sentence upon a finding of contempt should contain a language permitting the contemnor an opportunity to purge." However, in this case, a jail sentence was the only option available because it is no longer within the power of the plaintiff (mother) to purge since the violation was of a past court order. Furthermore, remedial intervention through counseling and parental training during the course of the trial was unsuccesful and if re-utilized, the "Court cannot release from imprisonment upon future compliance."</p><p>The matter of approximately $165,000 in attorney fees will be the subject of another hearing.</p><p>Read article by Dan Weaver on <a target="_blank" href="http://www.examiner.com/x-14537-Albany-CPS-and-Family-Court-Examiner%7Ey2010m6d7-Saratoga-dad-lost-custody-partly-due-to-court-ordered-evaluation-by-arrested-Dr-Steven-B-Feldman">parental alienation in Saratoga County</a></p><p>Read other articles by Dan Weaver on <a target="_blank" href="http://www.examiner.com/x-14537-Albany-CPS-and-Family-Court-Examiner%7Ey2010m6d7-Saratoga-dad-lost-custody-partly-due-to-court-ordered-evaluation-by-arrested-Dr-Steven-B-Feldman">family court and similar topics in Nassau County</a><br /></p>CAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-18822926563844868742010-06-01T17:15:00.000-07:002010-06-01T17:15:00.255-07:00Parental Alienation And False & Malicious Domestic Violence Allegations<div class="post hentry category-family-law tag-alienate-children tag-alienating-parents tag-child-custody tag-child-custody-proceedings tag-custodial-parent tag-dallas-divorce-attorney tag-divorce-attorney tag-domestic-violence-allegations tag-dr-richard-a-gardner tag-false-allegations tag-false-domestic-violence-allegations tag-misplaced-domestic-violence-restraining tag-non-custodial-parent tag-parental-alienation tag-parental-alienation-in-texas tag-parental-alienation-syndrome tag-protective-orders tag-restraining-order tag-supervised-visitation tag-supervised-visitation-centers" id="post-303"> <h2 style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">Many times, mothers make false allegations of abuse and courts do not step in to protect children's right to the father because of the allegation. Rather than attempt to prosecute in criminal court (where the mother will lose) court place restraining orders on fathers to protect the abusive mother from prosecution in criminal court for her actions. This article illustrates what happens when this happens..</span></h2> <div class="entry"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is a generally recognized platform that may result in child abuse. This occurs when a custodial parent of a child from a separated family uses deception to deliberately alienate children from their non custodial parent.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">Misplaced Domestic Violence Restraining and Protective Orders are an excellent tool to advance the Alienating Parent’s malice! Misguided Protective Orders of a Court based on such false representations may remove the Accused Abuser Parent from the home, bar the Accused Abuser from seeing his/her children and give the Alienating Parent total physical custody of the children. The Accused Abuser Parent is now effectively “Guilty Until Proven Innocent”.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">Once the Alienator obtains a Restraining Order through false domestic violence allegations, the Accused Abuser Parent may find it difficult to defend himself or herself against the false allegations.<span style=""> </span>This sends the implied message to the children that “Daddy/Mommy” is bad or dangerous, stamped by the court.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">The Accused Abuser Parent may only see his/her children in a cold and uninviting supervised visitation setting. Supervised Visitation Centers are facilities where a child is taken to meet with the Accused Abuser Parent in a third party monitored location.<span style=""> </span>A third party observes the Accused Abuser Parent during their visit with their children so that the child is “protected” at all times.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">Often the supervised visit is demeaning for the visiting parent in the eyes of his/her child.<span style=""> </span>The impression to the child that “Daddy or Mommy” is dangerous comes across loud and clear since most children only see lock up situations on TV and these people are seriously viewed as being bad. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">Many Alienating Parents use this scary situation to encourage their child not to see the Accused Abuser Parent at all. The more time a child is out of contact with the Alienated Parent the deeper the scaring and recovery period for that child. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">Dr. Richard A. Gardner coined the term “Parental Alienation Syndrome” (PAS) in 1985. Dr. Gardner found that a child subjected to continual negativity and manipulation by the Custodial Parent over an extended period of time against the other parent would eventually adapt the distorted view presented. At the end of the day, what the Alienating Parent fails to understand is that his/her selfishness makes his/her child the “victim” who pays a hefty price in lost self esteem. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">Unfortunately, False Domestic Violence Allegations have become more common in Divorce / Child Custody Proceedings. Most Judges usually enter a restraining or protective order for the safety of the child and in too many cases an Accused Abuser Parent is guilty until proven innocent!</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"> </span></p> <p>Tags: <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/tag/alienate-children" rel="tag">alienate children</a>, <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/tag/alienating-parents" rel="tag">Alienating Parents</a>, <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/tag/child-custody" rel="tag">child custody</a>, <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/tag/child-custody-proceedings" rel="tag">Child Custody Proceedings</a>, <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/tag/custodial-parent" rel="tag">custodial parent</a>, <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/tag/dallas-divorce-attorney" rel="tag">dallas divorce attorney</a>, <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/tag/divorce-attorney" rel="tag">divorce attorney</a>, <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/tag/domestic-violence-allegations" rel="tag">Domestic Violence Allegations</a>, <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/tag/dr-richard-a-gardner" rel="tag">Dr. Richard A. Gardner</a>, <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/tag/false-allegations" rel="tag">false allegations</a>, <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/tag/false-domestic-violence-allegations" rel="tag">False Domestic Violence Allegations</a>, <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/tag/misplaced-domestic-violence-restraining" rel="tag">Misplaced Domestic Violence Restraining</a>, <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/tag/non-custodial-parent" rel="tag">non-custodial parent</a>, <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/tag/parental-alienation" rel="tag">parental alienation</a>, <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/tag/parental-alienation-in-texas" rel="tag">parental alienation in texas</a>, <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/tag/parental-alienation-syndrome" rel="tag">Parental Alienation Syndrome</a>, <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/tag/protective-orders" rel="tag">Protective Orders</a>, <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/tag/restraining-order" rel="tag">Restraining Order</a>, <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/tag/supervised-visitation" rel="tag">Supervised Visitation</a>, <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/tag/supervised-visitation-centers" rel="tag">Supervised Visitation Centers</a></p> <p class="postmetadata alt"> <small> This entry was posted on Monday, May 24th, 2010 at 6:07 am and is filed under <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/category/family-law" title="View all posts in Divorce & Family Law" rel="category tag">Divorce & Family Law</a>. You can follow any responses to this entry through the <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/family-law/parental-alienation-and-false-malicious-domestic-violence-allegations/feed">RSS 2.0</a> feed. You can <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/family-law/parental-alienation-and-false-malicious-domestic-violence-allegations#respond">leave a response</a>, or <a href="http://www.nacollawfirmblog.com/family-law/parental-alienation-and-false-malicious-domestic-violence-allegations/trackback" rel="trackback">trackback</a> from your own site. </small> </p> </div> </div>CAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-60451823232411466892010-04-25T20:30:00.000-07:002010-04-25T20:30:00.977-07:00Parental alienation gets a day<div class="authorblock"> <div> <span id="ctl00_cphMain_ColumnHeader1_lblTitle" class="title_headline">Parental alienation gets a day</span> </div> <div class="authorName"> <span id="ctl00_cphMain_ColumnHeader1_lblAuthor" class="title_authorname">by <span class="title_authornameBold"><acronym title="Kathleen Parker">Kathleen Parker</acronym></span></span> </div> </div> <div style="clear: both; height: 5px;"> </div> <div id="Toolbox"><div class="tool_right"><table><tbody><tr><td>
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<br /></td></tr></tbody></table></div></div><p>Proclamations generally have the same riveting power as supermarket ribbon-cuttings, but a recent one in Maine is being celebrated as a small victory for children and noncustodial parents wounded by divorce.</p> <p>The proclamation, signed by Gov. John E. Baldacci, recognized April 25 as "Parental Alienation Awareness Day."</p> <p>If you don't know what "parental alienation" is, you probably haven't had the pleasure of a divorce with children. Veterans of those wars know without a governor's seal exactly what it means - agony for a noncustodial parent and emotional problems for children alienated from one parent.</p> <p>Baldacci's proclamation is noteworthy in the age of divorce because it officially recognizes Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) as a psychological condition that can have lasting consequences for children torn between battling parents in high-conflict divorces.</p> <p>Given the operative words "high-conflict," one can imagine that not everyone is applauding. Although PAS would seem to affirm common sense, it is a deeply divisive and controversial idea embraced by fathers' groups and often abhorred by mothers in divorce cases.</p> <p>Fathers who feel disenfranchised when courts award custody of their children to the mother during divorce have used PAS successfully to pressure judges to allow greater access to their children. One can hardly blame men for trying to be fathers.</p> <p>But critics claim that abusive fathers sometimes use PAS to force access where none should be granted. Mothers claim in such cases that they're trying to protect their children, not alienate them.</p> <p>This latter argument became the centerpiece last fall of a controversial PBS documentary about abused women and children, "Breaking the Silence," that fathers' groups attacked as unbalanced and unfair.</p> <p>No fathers were interviewed, and the cases reviewed tended to be extreme and sensational.</p> <p>Several women interviewed, for instance, said that they lost custody of their children to abusive fathers (confirmed by the children themselves) when fathers used PAS to "prove" that the women were systematically teaching their children to hate their fathers.</p> <p>Glenn Sacks, a radio show host and columnist, called the film a "direct assault on fatherhood," and organized a protest on his Web site. Others - many of whom I know and respect as fellow toilers in trying to advance fatherhood - joined in.</p> <p>Sacks' campaign had an effect, and PBS ombudsman Michael Getler wrote a lengthy response agreeing that the show was unbalanced.</p> <p>The focus on PAS as a tool of questionable value - no medical or psychological group recognizes PAS as a scientifically proven "syndrome" - makes the Maine proclamation a timely development for those who believe in its value in equalizing custody.</p> <p>PAS was first identified in 1985 by psychiatrist Dr. Richard Gardner, himself a lightning rod among those who debate these issues. For years an expert witness in custody cases, Gardner (who committed a brutal suicide in 2003) has been variously hailed as hero or villain, depending on which way the court leaned.</p> <p>To fathers, he was a godsend - an advocate for protecting children from the emotional fallout of divorce and the potentially lasting damage from over-identifying with one parent while hating the other. Given that children are part of both parents, hating one parent is tantamount to hating half of oneself. Can't be good for you.</p> <p>To mothers, some of whom surely were trying to protect their children, Gardner is something else. Through the years, many tried to discredit him for his self-published library and the lack of peer review for his articles. Some called his work "junk science."</p> <p>But Gardner's theory has gained traction in recent years. Today, there are some 133 peer-reviewed articles about PAS and more than 65 legal citations.</p> <p>While I'm in no position to argue for or against the scientific integrity of PAS, anybody old enough to drink coffee knows that embittered divorcees can and do manipulate their children. Not just women, but men, too. But because mothers more often are awarded custody of children, they more often draft their children to share their bitterness.</p> <p>The biggest losers in such cases, of course, are neither the mothers nor the fathers, but the children, who deserve to have unfettered access to both parents, assuming there's no abuse, without having to tote the adults' emotional baggage.</p> <p>Whether parental alienation meets the scientific standards of a "syndrome" is a battle researchers can wage among themselves. The underlying message, meanwhile, is that there needs to be a presumption of shared custody following divorce, again, assuming no abuse.</p> <p>Life is alienating enough without the help of one's own parents.</p> <script language="javascript"> SetFont();</script> <div> <script language="javascript"> function openurl(url){window.open(url);} function GetThis(T, C, U, L){var targetUrl = 'http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=postto&' + 't=' + encodeURIComponent(T) + '&c=' + encodeURIComponent(C) + '&u=' + encodeURIComponent(U) + '&l=' + L; window.open(targetUrl);} </script> <div id="ShareText"> Share: </div> <div id="Externa"> <a href="javascript:openurl('http://digg.com/submit?phase=2&url=http://townhall.com/columnists/KathleenParker/2006/05/12/parental_alienation_gets_a_day?page=full&title=Parental%20alienation%20gets%20a%20day')"><img src="http://media.townhall.com/townhall/spacer.gif" class="DiggLink" border="0" />Digg</a> <a href="javascript:openurl('http://del.icio.us/post?url=http://townhall.com/columnists/KathleenParker/2006/05/12/parental_alienation_gets_a_day?page=full&title=Parental%20alienation%20gets%20a%20day')"><img src="http://media.townhall.com/townhall/spacer.gif" class="DelLink" border="0" />Del.icio.us</a> <a href="javascript:openurl('http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://townhall.com/columnists/KathleenParker/2006/05/12/parental_alienation_gets_a_day?page=full&title=Parental%20alienation%20gets%20a%20day')"><img src="http://media.townhall.com/townhall/spacer.gif" class="FaceLink" border="0" />Facebook</a> <a href="http://www.newsvine.com/_tools/seed?popoff=0&u=http://townhall.com/columnists/KathleenParker/2006/05/12/parental_alienation_gets_a_day?page=full"><img src="http://www.newsvine.com/_vine/images/identity/button_seednewsvine.gif" alt="" border="0" height="16" width="16" />Newsvine</a> <a href="javascript:openurl('http://myweb2.search.yahoo.com/myresults/bookmarklet?t=Parental%20alienation%20gets%20a%20day&u=http://townhall.com/columnists/KathleenParker/2006/05/12/parental_alienation_gets_a_day?page=full')"><img class="YahooLink" src="http://media.townhall.com/townhall/spacer.gif" border="0" />My Web </a> <a href="javascript:GetThis('Parental%20alienation%20gets%20a%20day',%20'',%20'http://townhall.com/columnists/KathleenParker/2006/05/12/parental_alienation_gets_a_day?page=full',%20'')"> <img src="http://cms.myspacecdn.com/cms/post_myspace_icon.gif" alt="Post to MySpace!" border="0" />MySpace</a> </div> </div> <div> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/152/addthis_widget.js"></script> <script language="javascript" type="text/javascript"> var fontsize = 3 var sizes = new Array( 'xx-small','x-small','small','medium','large','x-large'); 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<br /></td> </tr> </tbody></table> </div> <div style="clear: both; height: 25px;" class="spacer"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="width: 410px; max-width: 410px;"><style type="text/css"> #shirttail { } #shirttail hr { border: none; background-color: #B4CBDF; color: #CCCCCC; height: 1px; } #shirttail .authorHeader { color:#5E5E5E; font-weight:bold; font-size:13px; } #shirttail font { font-size: .9em !important; } </style> <div id="shirttail"> <span class="authorHeader">About The Author</span> <hr /> <b>Kathleen Parker is a syndicated columnist with the Washington Post Writers Group. </b></div></div> CAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-48439209457539905962010-03-31T18:40:00.000-07:002010-03-31T18:44:15.180-07:00Parental Alienation Disorder and Why the Courts are Failing Children<span style="font-style: italic;">Parental Alienation Disorder should be included in the next DSM due out in 2011. From what the following author says about it, it seems that about 500,000 divorced children suffer from the problem, mostly because of the custodial parent's mental disorder.</span>
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<br /><h1 class="contentheading">Why the Courts Are Failing To Protect Children from Child Abuse <!-- END TITLE AND ICONS --> </h1> <div class="contentInfoContainer"> <div class="contentInfo"> <!-- ?php echo "<small>(Listing added by: " . $listing['User']['username'] . ")</small><br/>";? --> Contributed by Guest Author March 30, 2010 </div> </div> <div class="clr"> </div> <!-- BEGIN LISTING DETAILS --> <!-- BEGIN LISTING IMAGES --> <div class="itemImages"> <!-- BEGIN MAIN IMAGE --> <div class="itemMainImage"><a href="http://www.wikivorce.com/divorce/images/stories/jreviews/9184_goldbergheadshot_1269916539.jpg" class="thickbox" rel="gallery" title=""><img src="http://www.wikivorce.com/divorce/images/stories/jreviews/tn/tn_9184_goldbergheadshot_1269916539.jpg" alt="Why the Courts Are Failing To Protect Children from Child Abuse" border="0" /></a></div> <!-- END MAIN IMAGE --> </div> <!-- END LISTING IMAGES --> <!-- BEGIN CUSTOM FIELDS --> <!-- END CUSTOM FIELDS --> <!-- BEGIN SUMMARY/DESCRIPTION --> <div class="contentFulltext"> <p style="text-align: justify;">What is Parental Alienation? Joseph Goldberg is the Founder of The Canadian Symposium for Parental Alienation Syndrome (C.S.P.A.S.). He is also a consultant advising parents and Family Law lawyers in the matters that pertain to Parental Alienation child abuse.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><em>You can hear Joseph Golberg's recent Radio Show on the Divorce Source Radio Network at the bottom of this article.
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<br />More than 500,000 children every year are being abused by a parent who gets away with it, largely because it is a form of emotional abuse that's difficult to detect. Part of the problem is that there are very few mental health professionals that specialize in this sub - speciality of psychology. The type of abuse that I'm referring to is called Parental Alienation (also identified as Parental Alienation Syndrome and if it's included in the next edition of the American Psychiatric Associations DSM V - the term will be referred to as Parental Alienation Disorder.) Although P.A. is measured on a scientific scale ranging from mild to moderate to severe, the effects are so serious a child can experience a lifetime of adult problems and never recognize that they were essen- tially brainwashed. In addition, P.A. also involves the innocent parent being accused of abuse by the child and the aligned parent.</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">What is Parental Alienation? According to the definition in Wikipedia. Parental alienation is a social dynamic, generally due to divorce or separation, when a child expresses 'unjustified hatred or an unreasonably' strong dislike of one parent, making access / visitation by the rejected parent difficult or impossible. These feelings may be influenced by neg - ative comments by the other parent and by the characteristics, such as lack of empathy and warmth, of the rejected parent. The term does not apply in actual cases of real abuse when the child rejects the parent to protect themselves.</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">The only way to stop parental alienation is to validate that it is going on. This requires a Court Appointed Psychological Evaluation, which may cost anywhere from $5,000 - $10,000 to conduct and when someone is able to afford to pay for this evaluation it is still up to a Judge to follow a list of recommendations made by the psychologist. Parents that have alienated children recognize the changes in their child's behaviour, but they do not identify the changes as P.A. simply because there isn't any public education about this childhood condition, in fact, most parents end up learning about P.A. by reading the psychological literature online.</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">What should a parent do if they believe that Parental Alienation is going on? How can the litigation expenses be afforded to protect the child? Who are the doctors that specialize in this field of psychology, and how do I select one of these doctors to do an evaluation? Is there a way for a doctor to reverse the effects of parental alienation and help the child to rebond their relationship with the targeted parent? How does a parent in this situation find a lawyer that is experienced enough to represent them in a case of parental alienation? What can a parent do if they have zero funds to litigate, is there still a way to fix these problems? These are a few of the most commonly asked questions of parental alienation expert Joseph Goldberg a consultant who helps parents and family law lawyers to effectively litigate or settle these problems through court intervention.</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">The website for his consulting practice is <a href="http://www.parentalalienation.ca/" target="_blank">www.ParentalAlienation.ca</a>. In addition to his work as a consultant, Joseph Goldberg is also the Founder of the Canadian Symposium for Parental Alienation Syndrome - C.S.P.A.S. The CSPAS is an international organization helping Mental Health Professionals, Family Law Lawyers, Family Mediators, Child Abuse Investigators and numerous other professional's in better under - standing and assisting parents and children who are affected by parental alienation and parental alienation syndrome / disorder.</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">The website for this organization is <a href="http://www.cspas.ca/" target="_blank">www.CSPAS.ca</a></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">The CSPAS provides scientific data and updated educational information on the most effective clinical treatment solutions and procedures to obtain judicial intervention to assist children afflicted with PA and PAS / PAD. The CSPAS also provides a Free, Online Referral Service to anyone that needs a Mental Health Proffessional, Family Law Lawyer or Family Media- tor affiliated with its organization. All professionals affiliated with CSPAS have recevied a Certificate of Merit for updating their education and expert- ise in this field of study (along with Continuing Educational Credits).</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">Joseph Goldberg is also a public speaker and an educator. He has appear- ed on numerous radio shows. His organization held it's most recent confer- ence at the University of Toronto this last October 17th and 18th, 2010. In the spring of 2009 Mr. Goldberg organized the 1st International Conference on Parental Alienation Syndrome at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre. This conference, was widely covered by the media and became the feature story on the front page of Canada's most widely circulated newspaper, the National Post (March 28, 2009).</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">Mr. Goldberg has been sought after for interviews with the CBC and many other news and media networks. He has published articles on the topic of Parental Alienation and his biography, which includes his first hand exper- ience with his own children afflicted with PA can be viewed on his website. We are pleased to post Mr. Goldberg's most recent radio show interview with Divorce Source Radio online for all of our divorced parents to learn a little more about what to do if they are experiencing these problems, or if they know of someone that could benefit from listening to this program.</p> <p><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://www.odeo.com/flash/audio_player_standard_gray.swf" quality="high" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" flashvars="valid_sample_rate=true&external_url=http://media.libsyn.com/media/steve2256/Uload23PAS.mp3" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" height="52" width="300"></embed></p> </div> <!-- END SUMMARY/DESCRIPTION --> <!-- END LISTING DETAILS --> <i>We would welcome your comments on this article, email Wikizine at: <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> <!-- var prefix = 'ma' + 'il' + 'to'; var path = 'hr' + 'ef' + '='; var addy97695 = 'postbag' + '@'; addy97695 = addy97695 + 'wikivorce' + '.' + 'com'; document.write( '<a>' ); document.write( addy97695 ); document.write( '<\/a>' ); //-->\n </script><a href="mailto:postbag@wikivorce.com">postbag@wikivorce.com</a></i>
<br />CAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-9416524497999815552010-03-30T18:05:00.000-07:002010-03-30T18:05:00.953-07:00Jealousy and the Evils of Parental Alienation<div class="date-outer"> <h2 class="date-header"><span>Monday, March 29, 2010</span></h2> <div class="date-posts"> <div class="post-outer"> <div class="post hentry"> <a name="4290205185316200287"></a> <h3 class="post-title entry-title"> <a href="http://evilsofpa.blogspot.com/2010/03/jealousy-root-of-all-evil.html">Jealousy, the root of all Evil</a> </h3> <div class="post-header"> </div> <div class="post-body entry-content"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Gentlemen, and I am speaking just to the husbands who have remarried and are victims of an Attack from an ex-wife in the form of Parental Alienation, <strong>Stand by and protect your Wife!</strong></div><br /><br />It will be very difficult for you to see and understand the events and changes that occur through this ordeal but having said that, one thing is very clear and that is to <strong>stand with and defend your new wife</strong>. She will be the target of this assault also and suffer greatly because of her new relationship with you. 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce. This is a huge problem and your chances of a loving and successful marriage, goes down, not up in your next attempt. Many factors play into this but without a doubt, your ex spouse will play a role in destroying your new relationship also.<br /><br /><strong>Jealousy</strong>; Men have those feelings but I contend, and documentation will support, that women are more effected by this emotion that men. <strong>This emotion is evil and destructive</strong>. It has no place in your world or your mind. If you are harboring such feelings, cut them lose now before it ruins your life. <strong>Jealousy is a sin and one that no relationship can survive.</strong><br /><br /><strong>Jealousy is a major role in Parental Alienation</strong>. Your ex-spouse may have always felt intimidated by your success, by your friends, by your relationship with your family, and with your relationship with your own children. <strong>She most certainly will be jealous if you remarry</strong> to a woman that is bright, intelligent and whom people consider a very beautiful lady. If your ex is insecure with their own place in life, it will manifest itself with words and actions that attempt to cast you or your new wife as a failure in some aspect. This is a <strong>personality disorder</strong> where they cannot elevate themselves so they seek to mitigate and destroy your standing. In their mind, this brings you to their level or elevates them is some way. Again, this is a <strong>mental issue</strong> and one that WILL lead to PAS as they pursue this conduct with the children. Understand that in my case my ex filed many court declarations over a year’s time and <strong>68 times she mentioned my new wife by name</strong> in her statements enraged lies. <strong>179 times my ex referred to a money issue</strong> and <strong>only 6 times did she have any concern for the boys</strong>. Her main concern was with Money and then attacks against Jan. Even the court investigator referenced this in her findings (all public record). The psychologist that saw my ex, <strong>documented that she had an extreme anger problem</strong> and that the PA she was conducting, was the <strong>worse he had seen in his 26 years</strong> “over the top bad”! You may have a different view but I believe that this indicates where her mind was and is. Its leans toward evil with money and jealousy at the root and heart of it.<br /><br />These are reasons you must recognize PA as soon as possible. You must discuss this with your spouse and inform yourselves of all the troubles and issues you will be facing. You as a father will attempt to be a peace maker as PA takes hold between your new wife and your children. Read the information in this blog and many others. Read the books about Divorce Poison and forms of PAS. Speak with your church members together. It is a must for your relationship to get support from friends and to raise your relationship with God. PA was documented in the Bible, read it, see its effects. <strong>You must stay united</strong>, and for you husband’s that love your children, taking a stand that seems against all you know about your children, will be very difficult!<br /><br />Understand that they are victims also but you can be no help to them if you can’t maintain your relationship with your wife. Yes, you must understand that Children will also be jealous of the time and affection you show your new wife. <strong>Make sure you both spread the love around!</strong><br /><br />I am very proud of the woman I chose to re-marry to. In most every way, she is very different from my ex. Jan, my sons step mother is a very strong and independent woman that raised her 5 kids on her own with no support from her ex husband or from the state. She worked hard at raising and trading horses. She drove school bus and sold real estate. She opened her home to trouble youth by running a foster home for the most angry children in the system. <strong>Her efforts won her many awards</strong> for her outstanding service to those young people.<br /><br />Jan was an exemplary mother figure for my 4 boys and had a huge positive effect on their lives, up until the point that their mother stepped up her Parental Alienation agenda and targeted Jan for her anger and abusive comments. As much personal pain as I felt from the effects of PA, the pain I felt for Jan was greater than my own. <strong>To see my ex wife attack Jan in such a way and to use the my own boys as a weapon against my new wife, caused me unbearable pain.</strong><br /><br />Jan was a very good mother to my sons. She help my youngest to read and grow to really enjoy reading. He became a great reader and a very good student because of Jan and her efforts to help him. She made a huge change in our lives as <strong>she showed us all what a loving wife and mother could be</strong>. She cared for us with great homemade meals and took the time and effort to make sure the boys learned how to cook and take responsibility to clean up after themselves also. She led the way in manners at the table by playing a game involving table manners at dinner time. She encouraged us all to be respectful and show politeness to adults and the public with her own words and actions. As a former standout sports star, she helped the boys understand the level of commitment and hard work that goes into physical achievement, <strong>that it is the effort and not some misguided verbal attacks on coaches or referees that make you a winner. </strong><br /><br />My new wife came into our marriage with her own savings and invested those moneys into her new family. One of the very 1st things she did was to buy 2 very well bred and very well trained horses for the two youngest boys because <strong>she wanted them on safe horses that they would enjoy.</strong> Jan bought the boys new bed room sets that they could be proud of before buying anything for herself. She took the boys with her on family visits (many times drove 6 hours one way to get Colton out to the ranch or pick him up) and vacations alone when I could not attend. She was the driving force behind our family camping, hunting and vacations. When I was away for my job, Jan would get up early and take Dakota out to his hunting spot. She even took them snowmobiling by herself when I could not be there. <strong>The boys could not have hoped to have a more supporting and involved mother. </strong>They benefited greatly with their time with Jan and with luck, they will carry those good memories and lessons with them the rest of their lives. <br /><br /><strong>My sons grew to love and respect Jan very quickly</strong>. I believe that my ex became very jealous of this situation. A situation where they were speaking very highly of Jan to their mother and explaining all the new things she did for them. As documented from court declarations, their mother was not supportive of this and <strong>considered the boys views of their step mother as a direct threat to her own position as a mother</strong>. She began using PA as a weapon as an effort to destroy this growing relationship and therefore protect herself as the only good and true mother.<br /><br />As a dumbfounded male, I was wondering why we couldn’t all just get along. E-mail after e-mail after e-mail I attempted to work with my sons mother. I asked her to attend the sports programs, to move into the school district, we (jan and I) asked the boys to sit with and speak with her at the games. We both encouraged the boys to be respectful of and mind their mother while at her house. Yet actions speak loader than words as she bought 7 cars, 2 houses, refused to drive the boys to sports practices and would go out partying at night while they were in her care. The boys had to wake up with strangers in the house and witness what their mother wrote to me in an e-mail <strong>“I have young men standing in line”.</strong> They complained about their clothes smelling like smoke, they were sadden (reported to an investigator) that <strong>their mother would go out at night 2-3 times a week while they were at her house</strong> (every other week). Perhaps her actions were in part my fault because when I divorced her for sleeping around, I gave her a lot of money, everything I could scrap together at the time. So much, that I was greatly indebt following the divorce but I never wanted anyone or my sons to insinuate that I was not fair in the settlement. I believe that my ex had no idea how to be responsible with those funds (sadly, she now teaches this pattern to the boys). <strong>Nightlife, parties and gambling consumed the entire sum and she filed bankruptcy.</strong> After that filing is where she started after the boys in earnest. <strong>She needed money and if she could get custody, she could live off the child support.</strong><br /><br /> Long here and getting off point.<br /><br />Gentlemen, all I can say to you is to <strong>stand with your woman!</strong> As hard as this PAS is on you, understand that <strong>she also suffers greatly and that she needs you!</strong><br /><br />This has grown a little long and has not even touched the extent of my situation but I leave you today with one learned piece of advice. <strong>Love your wife, trust her, communicate with her</strong> and if forced to make a choice between her and your children that are being alienated, <strong>adore and love your wife</strong>! There may be nothing you can do right for your children under PSA but <strong>you can and must do right by your wife.</strong><br /><br /><strong>Trust in God</strong> and follow the word of the Bible. The Bible will give you the strength to deal with the problems and the wisdom to make the correct decisions.<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEqAh3OWOqpUWHs3q9lTUG2ua9hvxSQZhJR_U2DGwGLDYivOzAnDwuPT0Stv0SrYPLqe-fr67uj4EA10kpmWMFl-jrZj-ocQGkCas3zTTL9dN0fYPw4TusHp2LFL3E2c2ygjgPltmcd4Us/s1600/Zoo+field+trip0008.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img nt="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEqAh3OWOqpUWHs3q9lTUG2ua9hvxSQZhJR_U2DGwGLDYivOzAnDwuPT0Stv0SrYPLqe-fr67uj4EA10kpmWMFl-jrZj-ocQGkCas3zTTL9dN0fYPw4TusHp2LFL3E2c2ygjgPltmcd4Us/s320/Zoo+field+trip0008.jpg" border="0" /></a>Jan took Dakota and grand kids to the zoo<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrfIzwuiQWKrMqGjEu1tWoJDrgaCwszjooPWu-1MN7RtHwyb7yDNxrOPBsv9kSRLXwPD1zPFoHUw9aZ88ay52HnsUsQcOooyetRns5vC9vfhaPYFR-cZ70pvaT-fP3CAEZDZ3j0Gthp5iM/s1600/6+boys+Camping+5-30-050028.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img nt="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrfIzwuiQWKrMqGjEu1tWoJDrgaCwszjooPWu-1MN7RtHwyb7yDNxrOPBsv9kSRLXwPD1zPFoHUw9aZ88ay52HnsUsQcOooyetRns5vC9vfhaPYFR-cZ70pvaT-fP3CAEZDZ3j0Gthp5iM/s320/6+boys+Camping+5-30-050028.JPG" border="0" /></a>Boys having fun with Jans Grand kids<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgssIg9Op0c_JYKOW2xnUEKa_oUwvW_opYLNzgImdOUsKrWIjAcpAhwI6SAUwytka3X_RK7i3bR5SUIK7476ivCfNAimwLSMwXSWl6OqLsJVxqZ5N_RLSIFtpyQu2_hCcirz7bI4US-5QJa/s1600/Camping+in+Conrad+8-6-06+006.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img nt="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgssIg9Op0c_JYKOW2xnUEKa_oUwvW_opYLNzgImdOUsKrWIjAcpAhwI6SAUwytka3X_RK7i3bR5SUIK7476ivCfNAimwLSMwXSWl6OqLsJVxqZ5N_RLSIFtpyQu2_hCcirz7bI4US-5QJa/s320/Camping+in+Conrad+8-6-06+006.jpg" border="0" /></a>Jan and boys at the fishing lake we rode into<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLcgFABC-EBuGqq0pJjUDL3Kbi6QyAOYZLKxSrG7nkpa50OlUV9mLeRccSqra81xV5O45IEXzqxWp5CSZqtOfh3Mhb9pkUbTxtdc83uB7l-dVzxsJG0M2S_keskPsbTopOkjLsFYkITFKB/s1600/Dakota+and+Colton+pushing+cows.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img nt="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLcgFABC-EBuGqq0pJjUDL3Kbi6QyAOYZLKxSrG7nkpa50OlUV9mLeRccSqra81xV5O45IEXzqxWp5CSZqtOfh3Mhb9pkUbTxtdc83uB7l-dVzxsJG0M2S_keskPsbTopOkjLsFYkITFKB/s320/Dakota+and+Colton+pushing+cows.JPG" border="0" /></a>Jan took the boys for a ranch vacation<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-EQlxeXJIURfjX2AcHlsaa0gPhr-xpHXI7JrOD9BqhqtwNyQsIV0z3XTS7BOKScZcgVYrG3LvXpXjt6VX2snNCkVZpAyfT2SXvhph4oMvM7l1KtyRvUzqF5MrH-bFAkRwU9zRSg2iD_lk/s1600/Bruce's+mem+stick+new+years+day08+012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img nt="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-EQlxeXJIURfjX2AcHlsaa0gPhr-xpHXI7JrOD9BqhqtwNyQsIV0z3XTS7BOKScZcgVYrG3LvXpXjt6VX2snNCkVZpAyfT2SXvhph4oMvM7l1KtyRvUzqF5MrH-bFAkRwU9zRSg2iD_lk/s320/Bruce's+mem+stick+new+years+day08+012.jpg" border="0" /></a>Jan enjoying snowmobling with the boys<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGUfAwbDKYBlcSaRc0r0CNTaYIXggXxV5SlpH2bU_SahwbhrV7w_8hfmDDY7gxIvdrHBAmUg5tQHqlBrDrGGpGo_FKlhKWcbpZfPQMdG7unx7ZTL19oIE1VHtDd2un28Xyjhn_4O0hzfZ8/s1600/Dancing+2+085.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img nt="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGUfAwbDKYBlcSaRc0r0CNTaYIXggXxV5SlpH2bU_SahwbhrV7w_8hfmDDY7gxIvdrHBAmUg5tQHqlBrDrGGpGo_FKlhKWcbpZfPQMdG7unx7ZTL19oIE1VHtDd2un28Xyjhn_4O0hzfZ8/s320/Dancing+2+085.JPG" border="0" /></a>Jan took the boys to a ranch dance<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0IrA-b-TCMTyyKNvFTfrLBRDk7cYLa0GTLTgWLZvYFaXMwgpy8lmeuEDePEB12zcHF2z95wAJBo_dmV4hGFVbFSQ5rT_81ft00cjZiIbiYDKYtmkSTpAXqlJAmZ5K_gbJYZ5_O0c1DR5D/s1600/Grandma+Clark+and+Boys.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img nt="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0IrA-b-TCMTyyKNvFTfrLBRDk7cYLa0GTLTgWLZvYFaXMwgpy8lmeuEDePEB12zcHF2z95wAJBo_dmV4hGFVbFSQ5rT_81ft00cjZiIbiYDKYtmkSTpAXqlJAmZ5K_gbJYZ5_O0c1DR5D/s320/Grandma+Clark+and+Boys.JPG" border="0" /></a>Jan with the boys Great Grandmother<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqnLVIIWHSxEe5IsME8HlCLzkLJqjdi9OdqzUNcU8Pw6i1ms_gk-sYT6H769h_6DqXTws9Bq2wsgUrW0Nxi7CfIkdgBhtteXtsTvFcvbwIsLbgW67Ief_8oTaabfS61l3S6xVr0pfjt_5W/s1600/Summer+Vacation+2006+026.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img nt="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqnLVIIWHSxEe5IsME8HlCLzkLJqjdi9OdqzUNcU8Pw6i1ms_gk-sYT6H769h_6DqXTws9Bq2wsgUrW0Nxi7CfIkdgBhtteXtsTvFcvbwIsLbgW67Ief_8oTaabfS61l3S6xVr0pfjt_5W/s320/Summer+Vacation+2006+026.jpg" border="0" /></a>Jan and the boys having a great Colo trip<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia8VFyMquRUPDiiAoAmnUlUIFEACPUXBMZJwuRvGmaR_Nb2oIEzR6eR4r1psdJQQp4Phut5Jr4EQ0Y5_F71E0umkQ3bSKGPzsrCzUv-F_8853RXjDB032wYa1n66azVhz0Fata7XmPXaEc/s1600/Josh+Graduation+2006+010.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img nt="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia8VFyMquRUPDiiAoAmnUlUIFEACPUXBMZJwuRvGmaR_Nb2oIEzR6eR4r1psdJQQp4Phut5Jr4EQ0Y5_F71E0umkQ3bSKGPzsrCzUv-F_8853RXjDB032wYa1n66azVhz0Fata7XmPXaEc/s320/Josh+Graduation+2006+010.jpg" border="0" /></a>Family having fun outside in the sun<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_WkLSTNTBncDNbWy6Agnre74kBqLlg9WzO7zLn7TR9kD1C0dmqGQ1MSrINdNq8Td5ZJAzxAuZlBpWEtJK_onu4VFhsycZOtlcJXnH2jeUDC8MakT7DblrMu8TUDyIwYRsKldseUTtwG4f/s1600/Horse+rides+7-29-06+021.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img nt="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_WkLSTNTBncDNbWy6Agnre74kBqLlg9WzO7zLn7TR9kD1C0dmqGQ1MSrINdNq8Td5ZJAzxAuZlBpWEtJK_onu4VFhsycZOtlcJXnH2jeUDC8MakT7DblrMu8TUDyIwYRsKldseUTtwG4f/s320/Horse+rides+7-29-06+021.jpg" border="0" /></a>Jan, Dakota and Colton having fun riding<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRHSEq3q-UxycUPDm4io3sDDvpZkxpNcHzIBfKn-FVI-oJzet0X-BCXqOVfwwvlzmDAzAdS7Ck7FWBJ8WR9esvUkRiP6DlfeHtZ8BuzrPHjYd7QCpL_8RvkYN9LB0eDYgwVPU3TejkQ_lb/s1600/Jan+4+boys+on+snowmobiles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img nt="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRHSEq3q-UxycUPDm4io3sDDvpZkxpNcHzIBfKn-FVI-oJzet0X-BCXqOVfwwvlzmDAzAdS7Ck7FWBJ8WR9esvUkRiP6DlfeHtZ8BuzrPHjYd7QCpL_8RvkYN9LB0eDYgwVPU3TejkQ_lb/s320/Jan+4+boys+on+snowmobiles.jpg" border="0" /></a>4 boys having fun with Jan in the snow<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm5LhqXY90oDQsMJKxwPppv7nW1OSttZiNBbB7eT7o5eERX1yjFeN9OLfzian5rLavajE2TM9i-mPXoPaAUgwuuC-tNj4sJdbxS7mmsKTLjJUqBDT-vN-wMrVfazYrKyUEalEZzc62hmQX/s1600/Kaleb,Dakota,Colton,Jason,Carder.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img nt="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm5LhqXY90oDQsMJKxwPppv7nW1OSttZiNBbB7eT7o5eERX1yjFeN9OLfzian5rLavajE2TM9i-mPXoPaAUgwuuC-tNj4sJdbxS7mmsKTLjJUqBDT-vN-wMrVfazYrKyUEalEZzc62hmQX/s320/Kaleb,Dakota,Colton,Jason,Carder.JPG" border="0" /></a>Kaleb, Dakota and Colton having a blast with Jan<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV_Afh17steSA8acKoU1ONTgQCbkMNnCzmUzGyVgF7LiJCCgUCeFx3BsEIF5QVUYeTn-YsK9nMNHg7UEPECnO_s6c6tdcirEaFI6J463POrA6JWo4ehzzuFUrq-AhJwnBVqJBGaaiEEeHx/s1600/Bruce+stuff+026.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img nt="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV_Afh17steSA8acKoU1ONTgQCbkMNnCzmUzGyVgF7LiJCCgUCeFx3BsEIF5QVUYeTn-YsK9nMNHg7UEPECnO_s6c6tdcirEaFI6J463POrA6JWo4ehzzuFUrq-AhJwnBVqJBGaaiEEeHx/s320/Bruce+stuff+026.jpg" border="0" /></a>Me, Jan, Kaleb, Mom and Colton</div> </div> <div class="post-footer"> <div class="post-footer-line post-footer-line-1"><span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn">Just A Dad</span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="http://evilsofpa.blogspot.com/2010/03/jealousy-root-of-all-evil.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" title="2010-03-29T16:57:00-07:00">4:57 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"> </span> <span class="post-icons"> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-1636384251"> <a href="post-edit.g?blogID=5555262952678781728&postID=4290205185316200287" title="Edit Post"> <img alt="" class="icon-action" src="img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif" height="18" width="18" /> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-backlinks post-comment-link"> </span> </div> <div class="post-footer-line post-footer-line-2"><span class="post-labels"> Labels: <a href="http://evilsofpa.blogspot.com/search/label/Blessings" rel="tag">Blessings</a>, <a href="http://evilsofpa.blogspot.com/search/label/Brainwashing" 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of divorce</h2> <div class="storyPlayer"> <script language="javascript1.1" src="http://www.ctv.ca/generic/js/shared990/hbxVideo.js"></script> <script language="javascript1.1" src="http://www.ctv.ca/generic/js/shared990/newVideoPlayer.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://watch.ctv.ca/news/js/OneClip.aspx"></script> <script> var photoVal = null; function getSzone(){ return "VideoNational"; } function simpleAd(){ if(!ord){var abc=Math.random()+"";var ord=abc.substring(2,abc.length);} szone=getSzone(); sadpg=szone; isbroadband=true; placeRandom("728x90"); } function setAdsCookie(){ var tmpDate1=new Date(); var titleOfVideo; var pathOfVideo; var tmpDate2=new Date(); var tmpSeconds = tmpDate1.getSeconds() + (8*60); tmpDate2.setSeconds(tmpSeconds); var cookieE = document.cookie.indexOf(escape("playVideo") + '='); if (cookieE == -1) { } } var storyInfo = "&hub=WFive&subhub=video&no_ads=&sortdate=20091106&slug=w5_divorce_091107&archive=CTVNews"; var currentVolume = 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document.getElementById("slider").style.paddingLeft = movePosition + "px"; } } var canMoveVol; function startVolMove(val) { canMoveVol = val; } function moveSliderVolC(event) { canMoveVol = 1; moveSliderVol(event); canMoveVol = 0; } function moveSliderVol(event) { if (canMoveVol == 1) { var movePosition = (event.clientX - findPos(document.getElementById("volslider"))[0]); if (movePosition <= 5) { movePosition = 0; } if (movePosition >= 23) { movePosition = 23; } if (document.getElementById("VIDEO") != null && document.getElementById("VIDEO").controls != null) { document.getElementById("VIDEO").settings.volume = movePosition * 4; } document.getElementById("volslider").style.paddingLeft = movePosition + "px"; currentVolume = movePosition ; } } function findPos(obj) { var curleft = curtop = 0; if (obj.offsetParent) { curleft = obj.offsetLeft curtop = obj.offsetTop while (obj = obj.offsetParent) { curleft += obj.offsetLeft curtop += obj.offsetTop } } return [curleft,curtop]; } function showInfo(ID) { var videoElement = document.getElementById("blurbVideo" + ID + cT); if (videoElement.style.display == "none") { videoElement.style.display = "block"; document.getElementById("infoRowImage" + ID + cT).setAttribute("src", "http://www.ctv.ca/mar/images/local990/broadbandminus.png"); } else { videoElement.style.display = "none"; document.getElementById("infoRowImage" + ID + cT).setAttribute("src", "http://www.ctv.ca/mar/images/local990/broadbandplus.png"); } } function clearVideoSelection(currentPosition, type) { for (i = 1; i < element =" document.getElementById(" backgroundcolor = "#FFFFFF" backgroundcolor = "#FFFFFF" titleofvideo =" URLString;" newvideo =" new" clipid="'" element =" document.getElementById(" backgroundcolor = "#dcdcdc" hash="#TopVideoAn" ct ="="" totaltime =" parseInt(clip_end.substring(0," clip_end = "-1" currentpos =" currentPosition;" content_type="video/x-ms-asf&brand="generic&tf="/ctv/generic/video/videoplayer.asx&cf="/ctv/generic/video/player.cfg&url="" start=" + clip_start + " end=" + clip_end + " spd="hi&hub="WFive" previoustime =" 0;" action ="="" action ="="" action ="="" x ="="" statei ="="" statei = "play" statei = "pause" action ="="" currentpos ="="" currentpos =" 1;" functionname =" document.getElementById(" action ="="" currentpos ="="" currentpos =" maxPos" functionname =" document.getElementById(" action ="="" fullscreen =" true;" action ="="" functionname =" functionName.replace(" functionname =" functionName.replace(" functionname =" functionName.replace(/'/g," display="none" newstring =" '<OBJECT" name="VIDEO" id="VIDEO" width="300" height="225" classid="CLSID:6BF52A52-394A-11D3-B153-00C04F79FAA6" type="application/x-oleobject">' + mediaString + '</object>'; document.getElementById("mainVideo").innerHTML = newString; } function switchVideo(inString) { inString = inString + "&ads=" + playAd + ""; if (playAd == "true") { simpleAd(); } //mediaString = '<object name="VIDEO" id="VIDEO" width="300" height="225" classid="CLSID:6BF52A52-394A-11D3-B153-00C04F79FAA6" type="application/x-oleobject">'; mediaString = ""; mediaString = mediaString + '<param name="SendPlayStateChangeEvents" value="True">'; mediaString = mediaString + '<param name="TransparentAtStart" value="True">'; mediaString = mediaString + '<param name="AutoStart" value="1">'; mediaString = mediaString + '<param name="uiMode" value="none">'; mediaString = mediaString + '<param name="fullScreen" value="false">'; mediaString = mediaString + '<param name="PlayCount" value="1">'; mediaString = mediaString + '<param name="CurrentPosition" value="-1">'; mediaString = mediaString + '<param name="Volume" value="' + (currentVolume * 4) + '">'; mediaString = mediaString + '<param name="URL" value="' + inString + '">'; //mediaString = mediaString + '</object>'; if (x == -1) { z = setTimeout("switchVideoT()",1000); } else { //switchVideoT(); // document.getElementById("VIDEO").innerHTML = mediaString; document.getElementById("VIDEO").URL = inString; } } function playVideo() { document.getElementById("VIDEO").controls.play(); } </script> <div id="VideoPlayer"> <div id="defaultBroad" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-left: 0px; border: medium none; float: left; margin-right: 0px;"> <div id="Player" style="visibility: visible;"> <div id="Viewer" style="width: 470px; height: 308px; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(255, 255, 255);"><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://watch.ctv.ca/news/Flash/player.swf?themeURL=http://watch.ctv.ca/themes/CTVNews/player/470x264_Blue_OneClip.aspx?cachebreaker=asdassdfsdfs" style="visibility: visible;" id="__FlashPlayer" name="__FlashPlayer" bgcolor="#000000" quality="high" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" wmode="transparent" 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Even in a legal system where kids have all the rights, harmony doesn't come easy. </div> </td> <script> VideoPlaying[2] = new Video( { ClipId:232701, Title:"CTVNews : W5: Poisoned Minds, part two", Format:'FLV'} ); </script> </tr> </tbody></table> </td> </tr> </tbody></table> </div> <div class="watchMore"> <p>Watch: <a href="http://watch.ctv.ca/news/" onclick="window.open(this.href,'_blank',',height=850,width=1010'); return false">See all Videos in the Player</a></p> </div> </div> <script> Playlist.FeaturedVideos = new Array(); for (i = 1; i < maxpost =" 3;" maxpos =" 3;" paddingleft =" currentVolume"> <div id="AllMostPopularVideo" style="display: none;" class="MostPopularBlock">
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Buzz</a></li></ul> </div> </li></ul> </div> </div> <div class="storySubs"> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.ctv.ca/v2/js/imgslide.js"></script> <style> .slideImage{filter:progid:DXImageTransform.Microsoft.Fade()} </style> <script type="text/javascript"> <!-- var SLIDES = new slideshow("SLIDES"); SLIDES.timeout = 1000; SLIDES.prefetch = -1; SLIDES.repeat = true; win_width1 = 650; win_height1 = 650; win_prop1 = "width="+win_width1+",height="+win_height1+",status=no,scrollbars=0,resizable=1,toolbar=no,left=1,screenX=1,screenY=0"; //alert(win_prop1); //FULL SIZE IS http://images.ctv.ca/archives/CTVNews/img2/20091106/470_w5_PoisonedMinds_091107.jpg ss = new slide(); ss.src = "http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ImageShrinker?http://images.ctv.ca/archives/CTVNews/img2/20091106/470_w5_PoisonedMinds_091107.jpg,225,128"; ss.text = unescape("<p>Experts call it parental alienation, when in the midst of a divorce, one parent tries to turn a child against the other parent. It's a mind-warping tactic for the child.</p>"); ss.link = "/servlet/HTMLTemplate?tf=ctv/v2/photoBeta.html&cf=ctv/v2/ctv.cfg&pname=http://images.ctv.ca/archives/CTVNews/img2/20091106/470_w5_PoisonedMinds_091107&win_width=&description=Experts call it parental alienation, when in the midst of a divorce, one parent tries to turn a child against the other parent. It's a mind-warping tactic for the child."; ss.target = ""; ss.attr = ""; ss.filter = ""; SLIDES.add_slide(ss); win_width2 = 650; win_height2 = 650; win_prop2 = "width="+win_width2+",height="+win_height2+",status=no,scrollbars=0,resizable=1,toolbar=no,left=1,screenX=1,screenY=0"; //alert(win_prop2); //FULL SIZE IS http://images.ctv.ca/archives/CTVNews/img2/20091107/470_Richardson_son_091107.jpg ss = new slide(); ss.src = "http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ImageShrinker?http://images.ctv.ca/archives/CTVNews/img2/20091107/470_Richardson_son_091107.jpg,225,128"; ss.text = unescape("<p>Pamela Richardson and her son Dash are seen in an undated image. For almost 12 years, Richardson rarely saw her son because of a campaign by her ex-husband.</p>"); ss.link = "/servlet/HTMLTemplate?tf=ctv/v2/photoBeta.html&cf=ctv/v2/ctv.cfg&pname=http://images.ctv.ca/archives/CTVNews/img2/20091107/470_Richardson_son_091107&win_width=&description=Pamela Richardson and her son Dash are seen in an undated image. For almost 12 years, Richardson rarely saw her son because of a campaign by her ex-husband."; ss.target = ""; ss.attr = ""; ss.filter = ""; SLIDES.add_slide(ss); win_width3 = 650; win_height3 = 650; win_prop3 = "width="+win_width3+",height="+win_height3+",status=no,scrollbars=0,resizable=1,toolbar=no,left=1,screenX=1,screenY=0"; //alert(win_prop3); //FULL SIZE IS http://images.ctv.ca/archives/CTVNews/img2/20091107/470_Brownstone_091107.jpg ss = new slide(); ss.src = "http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ImageShrinker?http://images.ctv.ca/archives/CTVNews/img2/20091107/470_Brownstone_091107.jpg,225,128"; ss.text = unescape("<p>Justice Harvey Brownstone, a family court judge in Toronto, is the author of a book on how divorce and custody battles affect children.</p>"); ss.link = "/servlet/HTMLTemplate?tf=ctv/v2/photoBeta.html&cf=ctv/v2/ctv.cfg&pname=http://images.ctv.ca/archives/CTVNews/img2/20091107/470_Brownstone_091107&win_width=&description=Justice Harvey Brownstone, a family court judge in Toronto, is the author of a book on how divorce and custody battles affect children."; ss.target = ""; ss.attr = ""; ss.filter = ""; SLIDES.add_slide(ss); win_width4 = 650; win_height4 = 650; win_prop4 = "width="+win_width4+",height="+win_height4+",status=no,scrollbars=0,resizable=1,toolbar=no,left=1,screenX=1,screenY=0"; //alert(win_prop4); //FULL SIZE IS http://images.ctv.ca/archives/CTVNews/img2/20091107/4770_Psychologists_091107.jpg ss = new slide(); ss.src = "http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ImageShrinker?http://images.ctv.ca/archives/CTVNews/img2/20091107/4770_Psychologists_091107.jpg,225,128"; ss.text = unescape("<p>Psychologists Peggie Ward and Robin Deutsch run a camp in Vermont that aims to bring together feuding parents and children together.</p>"); ss.link = "/servlet/HTMLTemplate?tf=ctv/v2/photoBeta.html&cf=ctv/v2/ctv.cfg&pname=http://images.ctv.ca/archives/CTVNews/img2/20091107/4770_Psychologists_091107&win_width=&description=Psychologists Peggie Ward and Robin Deutsch run a camp in Vermont that aims to bring together feuding parents and children together."; ss.target = ""; ss.attr = ""; ss.filter = ""; SLIDES.add_slide(ss); if (false) SLIDES.shuffle(); //--> </script> <div id="rImage"> <h3>Photos</h3> <div class="topPhoto"> <img style="opacity: 0.99;" name="SLIDESIMG" src="http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ImageShrinker?http://images.ctv.ca/archives/CTVNews/img2/20091106/470_w5_PoisonedMinds_091107.jpg,225,128" class="slideImage" alt="Slideshow image" border="0" height="128" width="225" /> </div> <div id="SLIDESTEXT"><p>Experts call it parental alienation, when in the midst of a divorce, one parent tries to turn a child against the other parent. It's a mind-warping tactic for the child.</p></div> <p class="vLarge"><a style="display: block;" href="javascript:SLIDES.slides[SLIDES.current].link" rel="ibox&width=730&height=550" id="slideShowThing">View Larger Image</a></p> <script> document.getElementById("slideShowThing").onclick = iBox.handleTag; </script> <div class="slideNav"> <a href="javascript:SLIDES.previous()" class="prev"> </a> <a href="javascript:SLIDES.next()" class="next"> </a> </div> <script type="text/javascript"> <!-- if (document.images) { SLIDES.image = document.images.SLIDESIMG; // Create a function to ramp up the image opacity in Mozilla var fadein_opacity = 0.04; var fadein_img = SLIDES.image; function fadein(opacity) { if (typeof opacity != 'undefined') { fadein_opacity = opacity; } if (fadein_opacity < mozopacity =" fadein_opacity;" post_update_hook =" function()"> </script> <script type="text/javascript"> <!-- if (document.images) { SLIDES.image = document.images.SLIDESIMG; SLIDES.textid = "SLIDESTEXT"; SLIDES.update(); } //--> </script> </div> <script> SLIDES.showHideViewT(); </script> </div> <p class="storyAttributes">W5 Staff</p> <p class="timeStamp"><span>Date:</span> Sat. Nov. 7 2009 6:58 PM ET</p> <p>The world of divorce is scary for any child. Even when spouses split amicably children can be forced to balance their love and time between two parents. </p> <p>But when a divorce becomes especially toxic children can become the target of an unrelenting crusade by one parent to destroy the child's relationship with the other. Experts call it parental alienation, a persistent campaign by one parent to poison a child's relationship with the other parent. </p> <p>Typical tactics include lying or making false allegations about the targeted parent, refusing to let the child see the other parent, even punishing the child for showing affection for the other parent. Experts claim, in its more extreme forms, it is child abuse. </p> <p><strong>Pamela Richardson</strong> </p> <p>For almost 12 years, Pamela Richardson rarely saw her son Dash because of the campaign her ex-husband waged against her. </p> <p>According to Richardson, after her marriage dissolved her ex-husband, who had custody of the then-four-year-old, did everything he could to alienate Dash from his mother - fabricating illness, booking activities for Dash to prevent visits; he even arranged to have Richardson banned from Dash's school. </p> <p>"I wouldn't see Dash for, you know, a number of months and not without me trying, not without me doing all the classic things that alienated parents do -- cookies on the doorstop, faxes, phone calls, notes, trying to see him at friends' houses -- everything you possibly can to keep that thread of a relationship alive," said Richardson. </p> <p>Despite a court order giving her regular visits with Dash, Richardson said her ex-husband did everything he could to keep them apart and to convince their son that she was a bad and uncaring mother. </p> <p>"There was period of two years, and I added up the hours (with Dash) and it came to 24 - in two years," Richardson lamented. </p> <p>Richardson said she wasn't the only one suffering as a result of the alienation - Dash was suffering too. Alienated from his mother, the once happy little boy turned into an isolated, depressed and angry teenager. </p> <p>On January 1, 2001, Dash, then 16, jumped off Vancouver's Granville Street bridge, in the middle of the night, to his death. While Richardson blames her ex-husband, she also blames a court system that she insists did little to intervene and help. </p> <p>"This is extreme and this was something that was in the courts many, many times...they had an opportunity to do something and they didn't," said Richardson. </p> <p><strong>Parental Alienation and the Courts</strong> </p> <p>Courts are paying more attention. Family court judges are increasingly considering issues of parental alienation in deciding custody. </p> <p>Justice Harvey Brownstone is a family court judge in Toronto and the author of a book on the bitter realities of divorce court. </p> <p>"Parents who are on a campaign to destroy the child's relationship with the other parent could lose custody and, in extreme cases, courts have changed custody to the other parent," said Brownstone. </p> <p>He encourages divorcing couples to focus on parenting together rather than using children as a tool of revenge, dragging them through protracted, bitter family feuds. </p> <p>"While there may be some therapeutic benefits to coming to court and venting and telling a judge how much you were hurt by the other parent's infidelities or bad conduct, at the end of the day, we are looking at parenting capacity, parenting skills," he said. "We need to look at how couples are going to reinvent themselves from ex-partners to co-parents." </p> <p><strong>Co-parenting</strong> </p> <p>The concept of divorced parents co-parenting isn't new for psychologists Peggie Ward and Robin Deutsch. They bring bad-mouthing alienating parents, targeted parents, and their children to a camp in Vermont in an effort to help these broken families learn new ways to properly raise their children </p> <p>Eight-year-old Tori Cercone knows first hand how it feels to be caught in the middle of a high conflict divorce. "What is so painful is that your mom and dad get separated and they don't like each other but you like both. And it's kind of like a contest who you like better" </p> <p>Two years ago Tori's parents Fran Beecy and Chris Cercone couldn't stand to be in the same room after Beecy made abuse allegations against her ex-husband. </p> <p>"Oh my God, he hated me," said Beecy. "I was like the big mother bear guarding the door, not letting my ex-husband near my kids...I just wanted to protect them, to keep them safe. And yet he, on the other hand, was just like 'these are my kids, I want to see them. I have every right to see them.'" </p> <p>Divorce camp in Vermont changed everything. Today, they visit together, gather for family dinners, and get along. </p> <p>As Cercone explained, "whichever side you're on, whether you're the alienated or the alienator, you've got to come to grips that it can't be about how I feel or getting back at the other one." </p> <p>"I think I'm a better mom because I'm happier," said Beecy. "I'm not trying to create any wedges between my kids and their dad." </p>CAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-2686543547570551172010-03-16T18:30:00.000-07:002010-03-16T18:30:00.782-07:00Parental Alienation Syndrome - from a Woman's Rights Advocate<span class="statcounter"></span><span class="widget-item-control"><span class="item-control blog-admin"><a class="quickedit" href="rearrange?blogID=8978478749276108296&widgetType=HTML&widgetId=HTML2&action=editWidget" onclick="'return" target="configHTML2" title="Edit"> </a></span></span><!-- google_ad_section_start(name=default) --> <h2 class="date-header"><span>Tuesday, March 16, 2010</span></h2> <a name="7550664596698805587"></a> <h3 class="post-title entry-title"> <a href="http://ontheflywithabrokenwing.blogspot.com/2010/03/parental-alienation-syndrome.html">Parental Alienation Syndrome</a> </h3> <div class="post-header"> </div> <div class="post-body entry-content"> As anyone who knows me knows, I am an advocate for the rights of women. I am dedicating my life to empowering women and fighting for the rights of all women, not only in Canada but throughout the world. However, at this time, I want to point out a very serious and detrimental issue affecting children that is only now gaining attention in the court system: Parental Alienation Syndrome.<br /><br />Unfortunately, this syndrome is difficult to prove in court, but I believe it to be one that is more prevalent than judges even realize. Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is a disorder that arises primarily in child-custody or child-access disputes. It results from a parent's repeated denigration of the other parent or "brainwashing" of the child against the other parent (the targeted parent) in an attempt to control child access.<br /><br />This process may start out as seemingly innocent. For example, a child may have visitation with her father, and the anxious mother may react by calling the child during her visit, and indirectly imply that she is not safe with her father. This may cause the child to become stressed or frustrated, confused or even angry. It is, in essence, a form of emotional abuse.<br /><br />I know of someone close to me who actually had his ex-wife call up on his Christmas Day visit with his daughter in his home (I will note here that he was only enititled to an hour's visitation before the ex-wife called, threatening to involve the police if the child was not returned immediately). During this phone call, the mother was found to be emotionally unstable, frantically crying on the phone with her child, almost screaming to the child: "Are you ok???" Of course the child was ok. She was more than ok. She was spending time with her daddy opening presents from Santa on Christmas Day! Clearly, this was an attempt to instill fear and confusion into the child, so that the child would no longer feel comfortable visiting with her daddy at his home. This incidence is a perfect example of the alienating parent's blatant attempts to limit child access and denigrate the target parent, the father. Unfortunately, the alienation did not stop there. This father was denied access to his own child for over a year. It was not until he hired a lawyer and took his ex-wife to court that he was able to resume visitation with his own child. Meanwhile, the little girl would telephone her father crying, telling him how much she missed him while the mother just stood over her listening and apparently not caring enough about her child's needs to allow her to see her father. Appalling. Appalling that she would put her selfish needs over her own child's needs (and rights!!!) to have a relationship with her daddy.<br /><br />I would like the court system to become more actively involved in recognizing these cases when they appear on their dockets. Children have been found to become so depressed and anxious over the constant attacks on the other parent, and new family situation if there is one, that some have found that the only way out is suicide.<br /><br />Emotional abuse of children is not given the same attention as physical abuse of children, which is indeed a very sad reflection of how our society regards children and their rights. Denying a child the right to have a happy, healthy relationship with his or her other parent violates that child in a despicable way. When one's own angry and vindictive desire to regain power and control in a relationship that is now over begins to negatively affect the children of that relationship, it is the responsibility of the courts to determine who should have custody of the children. Surely a parent who continually puts down the other parent, or makes false allegations against that parent and his/her ability to care for the children deserves to have rights as custodial parent revoked. </div> <span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn">Tanya Thibodeau</span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="http://ontheflywithabrokenwing.blogspot.com/2010/03/parental-alienation-syndrome.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" title="2010-03-16T10:49:00-07:00">10:49 AM</abbr></a> </span>CAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-44529963495067081202010-03-15T16:45:00.000-07:002010-03-15T16:45:00.228-07:00Children Need Both Parents - Help End Parental Alienation Disorder<div class="post-2547 post hentry category-adam-haseeb-memorial-pages category-anniversary-of-disappearance category-cold-cases category-family-abductions" id="post-2547"> <h2 class="posttitle"><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-style: italic;">Parental Alienation Disorder is a real problem. It is time to end the right for Abusive Parents to kidnap children. Abusers, like Claudine need to go to jail....</span><br /><br /></h2><h2 class="posttitle">Jessica Click-Hill and Dalton Lucas: two case studies in parental kidnapping</h2> <p class="postmeta"> March 14, 2010 · Filed under <a tip="View all posts in Adam Haseeb Memorial Pages" href="http://en.wordpress.com/tag/adam-haseeb-memorial-pages/" rel="category tag">Adam Haseeb Memorial Pages</a>, <a tip="View all posts in Anniversary of disappearance" href="http://en.wordpress.com/tag/anniversary-of-disappearance/" rel="category tag">Anniversary of disappearance</a>, <a tip="View all posts in Cold Cases" href="http://en.wordpress.com/tag/cold-cases/" rel="category tag">Cold Cases</a>, <a tip="View all posts in Family Abductions" href="http://en.wordpress.com/tag/family-abductions/" rel="category tag">Family Abductions</a> </p> <div class="postentry"> <div class="snap_preview"><p><a tip="" href="http://forthelost.wordpress.com/2010/03/10/dalton-lucas-and-brysun-and-phillippe-sabinus-found-safe/">Dalton Lucas</a> and <a tip="" href="http://forthelost.wordpress.com/2010/03/06/jessica-click-hill-found-safe/">Jessica Click-Hill</a> are both parentally abducted children that were found many years later. Both were abducted by their mothers, both at nearly identical ages (Jessica was eight and Dalton was seven), both who have fathers who were looking for them.</p> <p>The biggest difference in the cases, however, is that of the outcome. By the outcome I do not mean legally, as in both cases the mothers have been arrested. The outcome in these cases I am referring to is that of the relationship with the left-behind parent. News stories about Dalton’s case say that his father drove straight from Virginia to Texas to retrieve his son, and the comments on the stories indicate that Dalton introduced his friends and others to his dad before going back with him. It will not be easy for him to readjust under any circumstances, but he seems pleased to see his dad again. Jessica, on the other hand, is indicated by news stories to have no wish to have contact with her father. She was abducted for five years more than Dalton, but since four of those years she was over eighteen it’s possible that she did not live with her mother for all of those.</p> <p>So what accounts for the difference? Perhaps Dalton’s mother did not try to alienate her son from his father, although this is unlikely. Alienation is almost universal in parental kidnapping cases. Richard Warshak, an expert on parental alienation, has stated that some children are just more resilient to alienation. There are documented cases of parentally abducted children where the child later reports attempted alienation but does not succumb to its influence. Dalton’s mother could have used the classic “your father died” excuse which seems to produce less hostility towards the left-behind parent. Even that is not set in stone, of course: in the well known case of Steven Fagan he told his daughters their mother was dead and when he was arrested he admitted to the lie but then claimed she was an alcoholic. The mother had never been arrested or even accused of wrongdoing on the part of the children, but they still refused to see her or try to maintain any sort of relationship. (I mention the last to try to silence the “if the kid refuses to see a <strike>father</strike> parent they must have a good reason” crowd, but I doubt it will.) It could have something to do with the level of alienation involved – telling the child their other parent is a drug addict or alcoholic is one level, but telling them the other parent is a sadistic phyical and sexual abuser is quite another. </p> <p>There’s no way to find out directly what is responsible, of course. But perhaps in both cases there is something to be learned about the detrimental effects of parental kidnapping on a child.</p> <div style="margin-top: 1em;" class="possibly-related"><hr /><p><strong>Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)</strong></p><ul><li><a tip="" rel="related" href="http://forthelost.wordpress.com/2009/07/31/dalton-lucas-missing-nine-years/" style="font-weight: bold;">Dalton Lucas missing nine years</a></li><li><a tip="" rel="related" href="http://forthelost.wordpress.com/2010/03/10/dalton-lucas-and-brysun-and-phillippe-sabinus-found-safe/" style="font-weight: bold;">Dalton Lucas and Brysun and Phillippe Sabinus found safe</a></li><li><a tip="" rel="related" href="http://forthelost.wordpress.com/2009/09/02/jessica-click-hill-missing-fourteen-years/" style="font-weight: bold;">Jessica Click-Hill missing fourteen years</a></li></ul></div></div> </div> </div>CAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-19889795799400709982010-03-03T18:30:00.000-08:002010-03-03T18:30:00.286-08:00Round 2 of Campaign to Ask DSM to Include Parental Alienation—We’ve Made Progress, but Need You to Act Again<div class="post hentry category-fathers-families-advocacy-group category-parental-alienationpas" id="post-5971"> <small style="font-style: italic;">February 15th, 2010 by Glenn Sacks, MA, Executive Director</small> <div class="entry"> <p>Fathers & Families wants to ensure that the DSM-5 Task Force is aware of the scope and severity of Parental Alienation. To this end, in December we asked our supporters to write the Task Force to urge them to consider including Parental Alienation Disorder in DSM-5. As usual, your response was overwhelming. It also helped lead to progress–while as expected the newly-released draft version does not specifically include Parental Alienation Disorder, the DSM-5 Task Force has now listed Parental Alienation Disorder among the “<a href="http://www.dsm5.org/ProposedRevisions/Pages/ConditionsProposedbyOutsideSources.aspx" target="_blank">Conditions Proposed by Outside Sources</a>…that are still under consideration by the work groups.”</p> <p>The Task Force says it “welcome[s] your comments on whether available evidence indicates that the following [disorders] should be included in DSM-5.” <strong>Fathers & Families is asking its supporters to write to the Task Force </strong>and again emphasize that Parental Alienation Disorder is a large-scale problem<strong>–to do so, please </strong><strong><a href="http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/?page_id=5372#takeaction" target="_blank">click here.</a></strong></p> <p>As in Round 1, Fathers & Families will print out your letter and send it by regular US mail to the three relevant figures in DSM-V: David J. Kupfer, M.D., the chair of the DSM-V Task Force; Darrel A. Regier, M.D., vice-chair of the DSM-V Task Force; and Daniel S. Pine, M.D., chair of the DSM-V Disorders in Childhood and Adolescence Work Group.</p> <p>This isn’t easy–as Dr. Kupfer recently told the media, ”The door to get in [the manual] is pretty hard.” But Parental Alienation Disorder does merit serious consideration.</p> <p>Many observers have noted that hundreds of mental health professionals, doctors, educators, family law professionals and prominent citizens endorsed our campaign. If you belong to one of these groups and would like to be publicly listed as an endorser, please see our endorsement statement in the right-hand column and submit your name, title, city and state to us at <a href="mailto:GlennSacks@FathersandFamilies.org"> GlennSacks@FathersandFamilies.org</a>.</p> <p>The <em>Pittsburgh Post-Gazette</em> article <a href="http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10046/1036018-114.stm">Mental health professionals getting update on definitions</a> (2/15/10) details the DSM-V process:</p> <blockquote><p>[There are] many questions that scores of mental health professionals wrestled with for nearly a decade, as they conducted their periodic update of the neuroses of an evolving society.</p> <p>The result of their work was unveiled by the American Psychiatric Association last week, as a draft version of the new “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.”</p> <p>Known as the DSM-5, because it represents the fifth edition of this exhaustive bible for psychiatrists, psychologists and others, it attempts to catalog [disorders]…</p> <p>The first update since 1994 also includes descriptions of depression, sleep disorders, alcohol abuse and other common maladies, but everything gets a fresh look because of the volume of new research and science affecting how they’re all regarded, said David Kupfer, the University of Pittsburgh psychiatry professor who chaired the DSM-5 task force.</p> <p>The final product will go into the offices of all sorts of health professionals — from psychiatrists to family practitioners — while also influencing treatment payments by insurance companies, drug development by the pharmaceutical industry and future research by government and academia.</p> <p>Dr. Kupfer, the longtime head of Pitt’s psychiatry department before stepping down in October, said the manual remains a work in progress, with revisions based on public and professional reaction before final publication in 2013.</p> <p>“We weren’t out to make major changes, but so much has happened that we needed to address, that some may accuse us of being overambitious,” he said…Dr. Kupfer…said there is intense discussion during every update about what problems merit entering the manual for the first time…</p> <p>“The door to get in [the manual] is pretty hard,” Dr. Kupfer said. “Once you’re in the club, it’s then hard to get out. All of us are a little tight about admitting people in the club.”</p></blockquote> <p>Again, <strong>write to the DSM-5 Task Force by </strong><strong><a href="http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/?page_id=5372#takeaction" target="_blank">clicking here.</a></strong><strong></strong></p> <p>Together with you in the love of our children,</p> <p>Glenn Sacks, MA<br />Executive Director, Fathers & Families</p> <p>Ned Holstein, M.D., M.S.<br />Founder, Chairman of the Board, Fathers & Families</p> <!-- Social Bookmarks BEGIN --> <div class="social_bookmark"> <a><strong><em>Bookmark This Post:</em></strong></a><br /><div class="d"><br /><a onclick="window.open(this.href, '_blank', 'scrollbars=yes,menubar=no,height=600,width=750,resizable=yes,toolbar=no,location=no,status=no'); return false;" href="http://buzz.yahoo.com/submit?submitUrl=http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/?p=5971&submitHeadline=Round+2+of+Campaign+to+Ask+DSM+to+Include+Parental+Alienation%26%238212%3BWe%26%238217%3Bve+Made+Progress%2C+but+Need+You+to+Act+Again&submitSummary=" rel="nofollow" title="Add to Buzz"><img class="social_img" src="http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/wp-content/plugins/social-bookmarks/images/buzz.png" title="Add to Buzz" alt="Add to Buzz" /></a> <a onclick="window.open(this.href, '_blank', 'scrollbars=yes,menubar=no,height=600,width=750,resizable=yes,toolbar=no,location=no,status=no'); 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You can follow any responses to this entry through the <a href="http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/?feed=rss2&p=5971">RSS 2.0</a> feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can <a href="http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/wp-trackback.php?p=5971" rel="trackback">trackback</a> from your own site. </small> </p> </div> </div>CAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-64124177606649194102010-03-03T13:00:00.000-08:002010-03-03T13:00:01.292-08:00Understanding Parental Alienation<h2 class="date-header">Sometimes I wonder why governments and family courts ignore the warning signs of PA, and continue with sole custody for the alienating parent.<br /></h2> <a name="1472412166812920735"></a> <h3 class="post-title entry-title"> <a href="http://evilsofpa.blogspot.com/2010/02/understanding-parental-alienation.html">Understanding Parental Alienation</a> </h3> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1b4WVQQbVLHyRyjXddGizVbdzFmZZzGUTzkYN5YIpdgyZFH0NjHTLZoF0_M7-ZGVuc1HNk-yBhGhdbQdBkr6xD9nqnEBx5qCz83Jsik4n_tiKL6k_SndwSgE0uFglEn9zfCg-QX6laLyY/s1600-h/Dakotas+Ball+game0001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img kt="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1b4WVQQbVLHyRyjXddGizVbdzFmZZzGUTzkYN5YIpdgyZFH0NjHTLZoF0_M7-ZGVuc1HNk-yBhGhdbQdBkr6xD9nqnEBx5qCz83Jsik4n_tiKL6k_SndwSgE0uFglEn9zfCg-QX6laLyY/s400/Dakotas+Ball+game0001.jpg" border="0" height="267" width="400" /></a>Oldest Son Josh on the left and youngest, Colton on the right. We were at Dakotas Basket Ball game.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Parental Alienation #2. Understanding </div><br /><br />American Journal of Family Law. Vol. 10. 121-133 (1996)<br /><br /><strong>Understanding and Collaboratively Treating Parental Alienation Syndrome</strong><br /><br />Kenneth H. Waldron, Ph.D. and David E. Joanis, J.D.Madison, Wisconsin<br /><br />Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is a <strong>special case of postdivorce conflict in which one parent appears to go to great lengths, at times including making fictitious allegations of physical and/or sexual abuse, to turn a child(1) against the other parent.</strong> Dr. Richard Gardner first described PAS in an article and then later in a book and portions of another.(2) Earlier researchers had rioted similar processes in families (for example, the "medea complex" described by Wallerstein and Kelly in the late 1970s), and professionals working with divorcing families easily recognized the syndrome, <strong>sometimes described as brainwashing,</strong> presented by Gardner. That his "syndrome" was so readily adopted is less a testament to Dr. Gardner's "discovery" than to his conceptualizing a familiar type of high-conflict divorcing family problem that is complex, perplexing, very resistant to change; and sometimes tragic.<br /><br />Gardner's conceptualization of the problem and the dynamics underlying the problem proved at best incomplete, if not simplistic and erroneous. He portrays the <strong>alienating parent as virtually solely responsible for the dynamic, turning the vulnerable child against the innocent target parent</strong>.<br />Contextual factors can be used to detect the presence or absence of PAS. These factors fall on a continuum in the normal curve in all families. The factors that make up PAS may exist in many divorcing families to varying degrees, but they come together and pass a fulcrum point in a few. When PAS becomes the dominant family process, <strong>children reject a parent outright and the stage is set for gut-wrenching allegations, extreme resistance, threatened "move-aways," and often a great deal of litigation.</strong><br /><br />ACTORS IN THE FAMILY DRAMA<br /><br />In most instances, all of the family members play a role for PAS to take hold. There is an easy temptation to place all of the responsibility for the process on the alienating parent, whose maneuvering is the most obvious and appears the most self-serving and malevolent. <strong>Gardner points out that even the child usually has some motive for enlisting in the process, </strong>although the child's motives may be vague and more defensive than malevolent. <strong>The child must play the part</strong>, however. The authors have seen instances where both parents appear to be playing their roles in the alienation process, but the child simply won't join in and is able to disengage from the parental battle and maintain independent relationships with each of the parents.<br /><strong>Exceptions exist, however. In some instances, the alienating parent's efforts at alienating the child will be so ruthless, sophisticated, pervasive, and persistent, playing heavily on the loyalties, fears, and even trust of the child, that the child's ability to maintain an independent relationship with the target parent will slowly be crushed. </strong>If the child continues to see the target parent in these cases, the child will often display a split identity (clinically referred to as vertical splitting). That is, when with the alienating parent, the child will appear thoroughly rejecting of the target parent, but when with the target parent, he or she will display affection, attachment, interest, fun, and freedom from the oppressive alignment with the alienating parent.<br /><br />The Alienating Parent (AP)<br /><br /><strong>In the typical PAS family drama, the AP has the motive to turn the child against the other parent; develops the content themes of the rejection; designs and employs the techniques of programming the child; and has limited insight into the damage caused but not into the motives or goals, which often include eliminating an unwanted parent. </strong>The damage caused is not only to the child and the target parent, but it is usually self-defeating and in some instances self-destructive.<br /><br />(PAS) is a family dynamic in which all of the family members play a role, have their own motives, and have their own reasons for resisting the efforts of others at correction.<br />The AP's motives will vary from family to family. In some, <strong>revenge for felt injustice or for feelings of rejection will dominate,</strong> but in others, the fear of loss of or abandonment by the children will be the driving force. Distrust is so high in some divorces that the AP readily will believe the worst about the target parent (TP), especially if the AP has an early family history of abuse, molestation, or betrayal. The AP usually assumes that the child is fragile or in extreme danger in the care of the TP. These assumptions probably are projections, meaning that at the hub of the AP's personality are primitive feelings of anxious vulnerability. By maintaining proprietary control over the child, onto whom these dangers and vulnerability are projected, the AP is externalizing the defenses. The <strong>sometimes improbable and unsubstantiated allegations seen in these cases can reflect the AP's actual experiences or childhood fears.</strong><br /><br />The Target Parent (TP)<br /><br />In cases of PAS, the TP may have abandoned or may wish to abandon the child. Despite the angry protests of the TP against the AP, the TP may talk of moving away from the area or may be satisfied with and perhaps desirous of a marginal role in the life of the child. The rejection by the child may be a convenient excuse for this way of thinking on the part of the TP. In some cases, there may be geographic distance between the TP and the child. The TP may have substantial weaknesses in parenting abilities or in the parent-child relationship; may have played the family "parent," with the AP joining the child in rebellion; or may have obvious psychological or emotional problems. The TP may have been violent, may be insensitive to the child, and usually has limited insight into his or her own contributions and role in the PAS (for example, failing to counter the alienation theme, focusing on the AP rather than the needs of the child) but good insight into the techniques and damage caused by the AP.<br /><br />The Child<br /><br />Children most vulnerable to PAS, due to several converging developmental issues, are in the<strong> 8- to 15-year-old range. Typically, the child adopts the content theme (for example, accusing the TP of being abusive); refuses to confront the AP even in the presence of contradictory evidence; employs the AP's techniques (such as spying); has various levels of insight and "real" cooperation with the AP</strong>; and fears the AP. While some children seem completely drawn into the themes of the alienation, seemingly believing every word they say others are very aware of the exaggerations and lies. One of the authors had a case in which two children in their early teens actively participated in the PAS, alleging sexual abuse on the part of their father. <strong>Their stories were consistent and believable, and while the father was found not guilty in a criminal trial, due largely to factual inaccuracies in the children's stories, he was nevertheless eliminated from contact with the children.</strong> The children refused even supervised contact. The vehemence of the rejection by alienated children is often telling. These children threatened to run away, or worse, "if you make us" even have dinner with their father. Two years later, one of the children surfaced the "lie," which the other child soon admitted. There had been no molestation and no real cause for the rejection. Even then the children had no good explanation as to why they had gone along with the instructions of their mother other than that they were "scared."<br /><br />In families with multiple children, roles in a PAS drama often are divided up, with the children representing the range of alienation--usually <strong>one child completely alienated, one ambivalent, and one still attached to the TP.</strong><br /><br />The Family System<br /><br />The PAS is a family system defense mechanism. The function of the defense is not always obvious, but there is often a subtle underlying complicity on the part of the family members in the drama. The research provides clues to some defense functions:<br /><br />· to protect the AP's self-esteem (for example, when <strong>PAS escalates as the TP becomes more "successful" after the separation, including getting on with life and remarriage);</strong><br /><br />· to help the AP cope with his or her difficulty "letting go" of the marriage (for example, when <strong>the AP can't stop thinking about or talking about the other parent; or when PAS escalates around birthdays, holidays, vacations, etc.);</strong><br /><br />· to maintain the AP's symbiotic dependence on the child (for example, when the <strong>AP calls the child every day when he or she is with the TP</strong>--one of the authors had a case in which the AP would tell the child that she "couldn't stand to go into your room while you were away, it makes me so sad");<br /><br />· to deal with anger and revenge (for example, when the AP expresses moral outrage at the exposure of the child to a new romantic partner, when the real issue is anger for an affair, or simply at being so easily replaced);<br /><br />· to help the AP through what he or she perceives to be a "grown up" version of a childhood experience; and<br /><br />· to help the family cope with the AP's tendency to turn on the child or anyone else who disagrees, or to abandon the child if there is a change (the child fears having feelings independent of and in opposition to the AP and becoming a target of the rage and rejection he or she has seen the AP direct at others who disagree).<br /><br />One of the authors has seen other "life and death" causes, such as where the PAS protected a psychologically fragile AP or where the AP was the agent of the AP's family of origin, eliminating the TP from the extended family network. When encountering PAS in a particular family and trying to determine its cause, a good question to ask is what the family would be dealing with if everyone wasn't so preoccupied with the PAS process.<br /><br />PROGRAMMING STAGES<br /><br />The programming one sees in situations of PAS is <strong>often a longstanding part of the family dynamic that simply escalates after a separation.</strong> Although all of the family members play roles, the AP is in charge of the programming of the child, a process that usually follows stages.<br /><br />Content Theme Identification<br /><br />The content theme of the alienation is identified early, sometimes by the AP, sometimes by the TP and sometimes accidentally. One of the authors had a case in which there were two dominant themes: abandonment, which had been introduced by the TP through an actual abandonment that lasted about seven months; and, paradoxically, an intense fear of kidnapping by the TP, introduced by the AP. The TP was in a difficult situation where any lack of effort to see the children was viewed as abandonment (that is, proof that she did not care), and any effort to see the children was obstructed and set off a panic that it was an effort to kidnap them. In cases of PAS, the belief in the themes becomes delusional. Though there may be some foundation for the themes in an incident or two, the themes essentially are very unrealistic. In the above case, though the mother had abandoned the children for seven months, she had been consistent in her involvements and interest for the five years prior to the separation and six years since the abandonment. The real threat of a kidnapping of the 12- and 8-year-old children was minimal, especially since the children were so schooled in the threat.<br /><br />Mood Induction<br /><br />The next stage is mood induction, during which the AP may employ the following strategies:<br /><br />· guilt (e.g., "I don't know why your father left us; everything seemed okay");<br /><br />· intimidation (e.g., "Go to your mother's if you want, but you are not to hug her cute little boyfriend anymore. Do you understand?");<br /><br />· fear (e.g., "<strong>I just want you kids to know that I'11 be here the whole time you are at your dad's and that you can call if you need me");</strong><br /><br />· playing the victim (or, "poor me") (e.g., "Jeez, your mom is taking me to court again. When is she gonna leave me alone to just spend time with you?");<br /><br />· sympathy seeking (e.g., "<strong>Look kids, you need to know that I just can't afford to take you the places your dad takes you because he has much more money. I know that's not fair to you but it is just the way it is");</strong><br /><br />· telling the child the "truth" about past events (e.g., "I hid a lot from you before your mom left us because I didn't want you hurt, or for you to hate your mom, but now you deserve an explanation ... ");<br /><br />· <strong>overindulgence and permissiveness</strong> (e.g., "Of course it is all right for you to own your own hunting rifle. Your mom just doesn't want us to have fun together"); and/or<br /><br />· <strong>threats </strong>(e.g., "So, you had a good time. Maybe you'd like to go and just live there. I just want you to know, if you do, you won't see me again").<br /><br />The theme, with mood induction, is processed over and over until the AP begins to gain the child's compliance, usually with the TP participating by escalating the emotional battle with the AP rather than working directly with the child. Once the child's compliance is gained, the AP begins to back off, letting the child carry the ball, although often there will be tests of the effectiveness of the program. The most powerful method is to tell the child, "<strong>It is your choice."</strong> The more the child supports the AP in rejecting the TP, the more emphatically the AP wants people to "<strong>just listen to the child."</strong> This can reach the point of the AP seeing himself or herself as the champion of the child in a world ignoring the child's feelings. Another common test is that the child will consistently <strong>report bad experiences at the home of the TP (whether true or not) that usually reflect the theme chosen by the AP.</strong> These reports are often recorded in some way by the AP and may not be used in the judicial system for years.<br /><br />Reward/Punishment<br /><br />Once tested, the child's complicity is rewarded and any sign of a breakdown in the child's alignment with the AP is punished, sometimes very directly, or in most instances in a re-escalation of the earlier stages of the programming. There are many patterns in this stage. If the child, for example, reports that "Dad never pays attention to me when I am there," the AP might "make up" for the lack of attention by doing special things with the child after visits if the child reports the visits negatively, if the child reports a positive visit, the AP might be vaguely inattentive or may say overtly "Well, I guess you've had your fun, so now we have to get down to the real business of life." Once the program is in place, generalizing begins to occur, leading the child to a loss of ambivalence and to total rejection of the TP. <strong>By this time, everything the TP does will be "wrong."</strong><br /><br />Unfortunately, these cases often reach professionals at the point where the program has been generalized and simply is being maintained. The AP may be doing very little alienating, since it is already in place as a family dynamic. At this stage, the AP simply will watch for slippage in the child's resolve and shore it up when it happens. The AP role may miss detection at this stage. The AP may say things like, <strong>"I tried to encourage the relationship," or, "I really wish he'd visit his father. I could use the break, frankly, but it isn't fair to make him, considering the way he feels," or, "I just can't make her go. I have tried."</strong><br /><br />TECHNIQUES<br /><br />The AP's techniques usually are in various combinations:<br /><br />· Denying the existence of the TP: This can be blatant ("I don't ever want to hear her name in this house") or very subtle (refusing to acknowledge that the child has positive experiences in the other house). In one family, the father would play catch with the children and would not look up when the mother drove in, nor would he stop the game. He held the children's attention until the mother was forced to intrude openly, at which point he would walk away from the children and mother, never acknowledging her presence.<br /><br />· Pairing good experiences or feelings with bad feelings: This is displayed by not responding to the child's expressions of love or enthusiasm for the other parent, or pairing these good experiences with bad feelings ("Oh, that's nice. I had a terrible weekend without you").<br /><br />· <strong>Constantly attacking the TP's character or lifestyle:</strong> Here, the AP creates an illusion of what "might happen." Attacks are on the TP; the TP's extended family ("Your mom can't help the way she is, her parents abused her when she was growing up"); the TP's career, living arrangements, activities, travel, or even <strong>religion; and the TP's associates, especially new romantic partners.</strong><br /><br />· Putting the child in the middle: This technique may involve engaging the child in a <strong>"spy game</strong>," using the child as the principal communicator between the parents; or giving the child subtle <strong>"third degrees</strong>" (for example, one of the authors had a case in which the mother could reduce the child to a bundle of nerves by saying, "Let's talk about...."--<strong>the child had learned that this was a signal to hate something that the father had said, done, chosen, etc.).</strong><br /><br />· Generalizing from one or two instances to a global meaning: An AP using this technique might say, "Remember when your mother was screaming after us when we drove away [not mentioning that he closed the window on her when she was trying to kiss the kids goodbye]? That's what I mean when I say that she is, well, out of control. She just doesn't have control over her emotions. That's why I get scared when you are over there."<br /><br />· Taking normal differences and turning them into good/bad and right/wrong problems: The AP can manipulate circumstances to put the TP into a bad light in the child's eyes or undermine the TP by expressing puzzlement about what is wrong with him or her. "I don't know what's the matter with your father. He knows that kids need to be in bed by eight". The use of this technique can be very subtle (e.g., a shake of the head and a smirk when the child reports an activity with the TP).<br /><br />· Creating alliance in the parental battle: An obvious use of this technique would be, <strong>"Do you think it's fair for your rich father to take your poor mother to court all the time?"</strong> A more subtle approach would be, "If you were the mother, what would you do? Would you go to court to try to protect your children?" This can include the powerful tool of the threat of withdrawal of love, or complete abandonment, if the child demonstrates love for or interest in the TP. Another version of this technique is to convince the child that kids need one parent (the primary parent syndrome) or to give the child the illusion that "I am the one who really loves you." The other parent then becomes the threat because "she is trying to take you away from me."<br /><br />· Portraying the child as fragile and needing the AP's protection: This is very common in PAS. The child convincingly will portray his or her life as fragile, about to fall apart if anyone "makes" him or her have contact with the TP. The AP solidifies the relationship with the child by creating an image for the child that he or she is at great risk out of the control and protection of the AP. A frequent twist of this technique is to portray the AP as fragile to the child, requiring the child's presence to maintain balance.<br /><br />· <strong>Lying: False or highly suspicious allegations of abuse, neglect, or molestation are examples of this. The blatant nature of some of these lies creates an illusion for the child, and many children simply do not have the nerve to confront or contradict the parent</strong>.<br /><br />· Brainwashing: Through a process of rewriting the child's experiences in a way to create reality confusion, the parent incorporates the child into a <strong>false view of reality</strong>. This can include outright lies ("Your father never enjoyed spending time with you. He complained about that all the time, but not in front of you because he didn't want to hurt your feelings. I wonder why he wants to see you now"), subtly implied rewrites of the child's feelings ("You were scared of her even when you were a baby. You wouldn't even let her hold you"), or implanted memories ("Remember when your father used to hit me, or have you blocked this out of your mind?"). <strong>The child resolves the confusion by adopting the AP's view of reality.</strong><br /><br />UNDERSTANDING PAS DYNAMICS<br /><br />The motivational factors underlying PAS vary greatly from family to family. In the AP, these can include <strong>revenge; self-righteousness</strong>; guilt; fear of loss of the child or the role of primary parent; the wish to have proprietary control over the child; <strong>jealousy; the desire to obtain sufficient child support</strong>; loss of identity; a history with the family of origin of abandonment or alienation; pain avoidance (out of sight/out of mind); self-protection; avoiding scrutiny by pointing the finger; <strong>maintaining the marital relationship through conflict</strong>, power, and domination; or protecting his or her own precarious self-esteem. The TP's motives may include a desire to abandon, anger at the AP, self-righteousness, <strong>a history of problems in the family of origin</strong>, stupidity, <strong>a personal history of scapegoating</strong>, protecting the fragile mental health of the AP, the assumption of a victim stance, or a fear of a relationship with the children. The motivation of the child can include coping with loss, resolving parental conflict for self-preservation, normal developmental pressures, real relational difficulties with the TP, resolution of ambivalence about the AP, or fear of the AP.<br /><br />As discussed previously, there is also the family system defense. The question has to be asked, "What would happen in this family if the alienation issue was resolved?" Usually there is a very serious underlying family problem needing attention. PAS can serve the function of a lot of smoke, covering up other difficulties that defy identification.<br /><br />DETECTION OF PAS<br /><br />Detection, especially in the last stages, may seem difficult. The "truth" of the family becomes very relative. However,<strong> typical patterns in PAS allow for detection by a professional familiar with this form of family conflict:</strong><br /><br />1. Contradictions: <strong>This is relevant especially when the child's own statements are contradictory, or they contradict factual history or the perceptions of unbiased individuals;</strong><br /><br />2. Child has inappropriate and unnecessary information (e.g., "My dad had an affair while my mom was in the hospital having me," or, "My mom wanted me aborted");<br /><br />3. Child engages in character assault: This can include the use of globally negative descriptions for which the child has trouble coming up with specifics sufficient to justify them;<br /><br />4. Collusion and one-sided alliance with the AP: This is often given away by the use of blended pronouns (e.g. "<strong>When my dad left us ...," or, "We don't have enough money to live on");</strong><br /><br />5. Child parrots themes of the AP, even using the same words--the child's identity becomes enmeshed with that of the AP;<br /><br />6. Child reports on the TP, even to professionals, <strong>the way a spy would;</strong><br /><br />7. Child displays a sense of urgency and fragility: Everything seems to have life-and-death importance (e.g., "<strong>If you make me have dinner with him, I'll run away or kill myself</strong>");<br /><br />8. Child's affiliations with the TP's associates and family change;<br /><br />9. Splitting: The child cannot come up with any positives about the TP nor with any negatives about the AP;<br /><br />10. Marked absence of complex thinking about relationships: Splitting is one example, and simplistic characterizations of the parents (e.g., "My mom is the homebody and my dad is the entertainer") are another;<br /><br />11. Child demonstrates a feeling of restriction in permission to love or be loved.<br /><br />PAS IN THE COURTS<br /><br />PAS must have seemed a boon to lawyers representing fathers (<strong>who are most often the target parents</strong>) and criminal defense lawyers, since allegations of physical and sexual abuse frequently occur in cases involving PAS. Dr. Richard Gardner has stated:<br /><br />Fabricating children [in cases of fabricated allegations of sexual abuse] are more likely to exhibit manifestations of the aforementioned parental alienation syndrome. Children with this disorder typically <strong>involve themselves in a campaign of vilification of their fathers</strong> and idolization of their mothers. They have been <strong>programmed by their mothers to hate their fathers</strong> and also contribute their own scenarios of hostility. The fabricated sex-abuse allegations may very well be one manifestation of this disorder. Its presence strongly supports the argument that the sex abuse is fabricated. Children who have been genuinely abused do not usually manifest the signs and symptoms of the parental alienation syndrome. Although there are situations in which a child with parental alienation syndrome has suffered genuine sexual abuse, I suspect that this is rare.(4)<br /><br />Think of the opportunity here. If a lawyer representing an accused child sex abuser can find a mental health professional who will testify that the children are victims of PAS, the same expert can take the next step to say that it would be rare for a child suffering from PAS to suffer genuine sexual abuse. By simply naming the child's antipathy for the parent as PAS, the lawyer has a defense.<br /><br />Even absent such extreme allegations, lawyers representing men whose children dislike them in divorce actions can, by labeling the hostility PAS, blame the mother for the child's feelings.<br /><br />These concerns have been collected and published in the Spring 1994 edition of the Loyola of Los Angeles Law Review under the title, "Notes and Comments: The Parental Alienation Syndrome: A Dangerous Aura of Reliability."(5) The comment argues that evidence of PAS should not be admissible in court because the theory has not gained acceptance among experts in the field. The comment does note the "general acceptance" standard promulgated in Frye v. United States.(6)<br /><br />The article attacks Dr. Gardner in strong terms. The commentator points out that the PAS theory is built upon criteria that Dr. Gardner invented and included in his widely discredited sex abuse legitimacy scale. It then goes on to argue that testimony regarding PAS should be excluded from the court both under the Daubert test and under the Frye analysis. Under Daubert, the trier of fact must rule on admissibility based on an expert's opinion as to whether the evidence is reliable and thus relevant. Under Federal Rule of Evidence 104(a), the trial judge must make a preliminary assessment of whether the reasoning or methodology underlying the testimony is scientifically valid. in other words, the court may consider whether the theory has been tested, whether it has been subjected to peer review and publication, and whether it has attracted widespread acceptance.(7)<br /><br />PAS must have seemed a boon to lawyers representing fathers (who are most often the target parents) and criminal defense lawyers.<br /><br />In spite of the commentator's concerns, PAS has not received an enthusiastic acceptance in the courts, as shown in reported cases. The most frequently cited case showing the dangers of PAS is Karen "PP" v. Clyde "OO."(8) In that case, the mother sought a requirement that the father's visits he supervised because of alleged sexual abuse. The experts differed in their opinions as to whether sexual abuse had occurred. In its opinion, the court cited at length from Dr. Gardner's text. It is for this that this decision has been subjected to criticism. However, an examination of the text indicates that the court based its decision on the evidence and the testimony from witnesses rather than Dr. Gardner's theories. In the end, the court transferred custody from the mother to the father and suspended the mother's visitation, with the resumption of contact subject to treatment and monitoring.<br /><br />In other cases, reviewing courts have similarly made their decisions without making a determination as to whether PAS is a generally accepted diagnostic tool.(9) In T.M.W., a birth father opposed the adoption of his daughter by her stepfather. The court granted an order requiring a psychological evaluation of the child with a view to determining whether PAS was present. The appellate court overturned the order requiring the examination because it failed to meet Florida's technical requirements. It permitted a new order to be issued provided the new order met the requirements of the statute. In this case, the father was contending that the presence of PAS would justify his conceded lack of contact or communication with the child for several years. In a footnote, the reviewing court noted that no determination was made as to the general professional exceptions of PAS as a diagnostic tool and went on further to recite the cautionary words of other commentators:<br /><br />"When considering the theory of expert testimony discussed in this subsection, it is vitally important to avoid confusion engendered by reference to syndromes.... [A]t the present time experts have not achieved consensus on the existence of a psychological syndrome that can detect a child's sexual abuse. Use of the word syndrome leads only to confusion and to unwarranted and unworkable comparisons to battered child syndrome. The best course is to avoid any mention of syndromes." citing Myers, Expert Testimony in Child Sexual Abuse Litigation, 68 Neb. L. Rev. 69 (1989).<br /><br />In a 1994 Iowa case,(10) the father brought an appeal challenging the trial court's temporary order transferring custody of his children to their mother. The father contended that the trial court placed too much emphasis on the testimony of a psychologist regarding PAS. The father contended that the theory is not accepted in the field of psychology. The trial court made a modification in the effective date of the transfer but otherwise affirmed, saying:<br /><br />We do not pass upon the issue of whether Parental Alienation Syndrome is a reliable theory. Rather we look at the evidence introduced and draw our own conclusion. Because this is a de novo review, we only look at the evidence we deem admissible. We consider the opinions of all the experts as we do the other testimony. We give opinion testimony the weight we consider it deserves after considering, among other things, the expert's education, experience, familiarity with case; reasons given for the opinion, and interests, if any, in the case.<br /><br />In a 1992 Ohio case,(11) the appellant's expert witness testified in favor of a change of custody, claiming that one of the children exhibited symptoms of PAS. The court affirmed the decision of the trial court, denying the father's motion for change of custody and stating that the appellant's argument was not persuasive. The court said that while evidence had been presented to show that the child was being pressured to distrust and distance herself from her father and there was testimony from a psychologist as to the existence of PAS, there was also evidence indicating that the mother had encouraged the relationship between the father and the daughter, and another psychologist testified that the mother provided a supportive and caring environment for the daughter. The trial court was therefore affirmed in its decision.<br /><br />The appellant's expert witness testified in favor of a change of custody, claiming that one of the children exhibited symptoms of PAS.<br /><br />A Wisconsin case directly comments on PAS.(12) The father had petitioned the trial court for a change of primary placement from the mother. His basis was that the children suffered from PAS, the condition was caused by the mother, and the only cure was to transfer primary placement to the father. <strong>The trial court found the children were alienated from the father but concluded that it would not be in the children's best interests to transfer primary placement to him to cure the syndrome. The father's expert testified that both children suffered severely from PAS. The psychologist also stated that he was positive that the mother was the cause of the syndrome and the only remedy was to place the children with the father. The trial court rejected the psychologist's recommendations, pointing out that the psychologist had admitted that transferring primary placement involved certain risks. </strong>The trial court acknowledged that the long-range negative effects of the alienation would exist but said it was speculative that the degree of harm described by the psychologist would actually occur. Moreover, the trial court pointed out that the transfer could jeopardize the children's progress in school and their relationships with friends. The expert's testimony itself indicated that the cure was controversial and that there was limited research data to support the success of transferring the children to the "hated" parent. The court concluded that the evidence was not strong that the alienation would be cured by placing the children with the father. <strong>The trial court also interviewed the children and found that they did not like their father and did not want to live with him. One child told the judge that her feelings came from her own observations. Because the children were adamantly opposed to living with their father,</strong> the trial court stated that the potential risk of harm to the children outweighed the questionable benefits of transferring placement. It then concluded that the cure proposed by the father presented too high a risk for harm.<br /><br />Even though the psychologist who testified on behalf of the father was the only expert who testified, the appellate court found it reasonable for the trial court to reject that testimony, saying that the expert's "testimony indicated that the cure was controversial, bears limited research data, and there are certain risks. Furthermore, the testimony of both parents and the children was other evidence that the cure ... would not be successful and was not reasonable."<br /><br />The Wisconsin Court of Appeals took pains to point out in a footnote that the trial court had examined both parents' personalities and roles in the ongoing dispute and that both were blameworthy for the children's alienation. The court disapproved of each party's actions toward the other and of their ongoing tactics to place the children in the middle of their anger toward one another. This footnote was entered so as to stress that the trial court and the appellate court decisions were not to be seen as rewarding one parent over the other.<br /><br />EFFECTS OF PAS ON THE CHILD<br /><br /><strong>The effect of PAS on the child is never benign; it is malevolent and intense</strong>. The degree of severity will depend on the extent of the brainwashing, the amount of time the child spends enmeshed with the AP, the age of the child, the number of healthy support people in the child's life, and the degree to which the child "believes" the delusion. (In many cases of PAS, the child will exhibit all of the signs of absolute rejection of the TP, but in private will disclose that the rejection is just an act.) The effects run across all areas of functioning.<br /><br />The child's internal psychological and emotional organization becomes centered around the rejection of the TP. The child develops identity and self-concept through a process of identification with both parents, a process that begins very early in the child's life. <strong>The rejection of the hated parent becomes an internalized rejection and leads, over time, to self-loathing fears of rejection, depression, and often suicidal ideation.</strong> These developments often are a surprise to the AP and others, since at the time of the alienation, the child will often look mature, assertive, and confident. These are facades, however,<strong> often reflecting the feelings of power granted the child in cases of PAS, who is given reign to lie, be manipulative, and be as hostile as he or she wishes without reprimand.</strong> The child is also internalizing the rage of the AP as part of the self-concept, which often combines with intense guilt over the harm done to the TP to become chronic feeling states. Sadness and longing often accompany these other feelings.<br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:large;">The child ... learns that hostile, obnoxious behavior is acceptable in relationships and that deceit and manipulation are a normal part of relationships.</span></strong><br /><br />When the PAS includes grave distortions of reality, the child's reality-testing abilities become compromised, and<strong> he or she has permission to distort other aspects of life</strong>. For example, the child may develop a fantasy relationship with the TP or even with a fantasy parent and begin to relate to that as though it is real. (Remember, the child is relating to the TP as a hated rejection-worthy parent as though that is real, when it is not.) This approach to relationships often generalizes as the child becomes older and continues to relate to his or her fantasy of others rather than reality.<br /><br />The child's interpersonal functioning is affected even more directly. Often, the enmeshment with the AP inhibits the development of the child in other spheres of functioning. For example, the child may become socially withdrawn, regress in social situations, or be seen by others as immature. Often these won't show up until the child reaches the final stages of individuation in early adulthood. Unable to make the break from the family of origin, the child persists in adolescent types of relationships and often continues to be enmeshed with the AP. The child also learns that hostile, obnoxious behavior is acceptable in relationships and that deceit and manipulation are a normal part of relationships.<br /><br />A dominant emotion for the child is loss, though this may not show up right away. Worse yet, the effects of the loss of the parent on other aspects of adjustment are pervasive. <strong>Children who are raised by one parent and who lose the other have been found to have lower academic performance; increased chance of psychological disturbance; lower self-esteem; cognitive deficiencies; higher impulse control problems; school adjustment problems; higher fear and anxiety (particularly about abandonment); greater dependency, which interferes with other aspects of development; and impaired sex-role identification.(13) There are generally negative effects on sibling relationships.(14)</strong><br /><br />Other studies have demonstrated the reverse is true for postdivorce families in which children experience the active involvement of both parents. <strong>Children who maintain continuing relationships with both parents have higher satisfaction with their families, better overall adjustment (including higher self-esteem, better sex-role identification, higher IQ scores and academic performance, better adjustment to the divorce, and better adjustment to adolescence), substantially lower levels of fear and anxiety (again, especially of abandonment), and an increased quality of relationship with both parents.(</strong>15) No study of which the authors are aware has demonstrated that children are better raised with one parent absent (with the possible exception of cases in which there was severe physical abuse by the absent parent).<br /><br />FIXING THE PROBLEM<br /><br />No policy or approach can be applied universally. Each family circumstance, despite the similarities of the symptoms, has its own complex, interacting, underlying dynamics. What can be said about all cases of PAS is that successful intervention requires the collaboration of the professionals involved, particularly between the legal community and the mental health community. There is a danger in PAS cases that the professionals will become as split and contentious as the parents, only further demonstrating to the child the inadequacies and ineptness of the adults in his or her world. <strong>Contentious attorneys, battles of the experts, and confused judges will be great obstacles, and perhaps even decisive impediments, to improvement.</strong><br /><br />Each of the professionals involved can play a constructive role in each family. Each case of suspected PAS must be carefully, thoroughly and collaborativeiy assessed, a plan developed, and interventions enacted.<br /><br />Role of the Attorney<br /><br />The attorney likely is the first to come into contact with a case of PAS, in the initial interview with the AP or the TP. The American court system is inherently adversarial, which <strong>does not serve the family in conflict well. The adversarial process further alienates and polarizes. Unfortunately, the charges and countercharges inherent in a PAS-involved family fit tongue-and-groove into the adversarial system.</strong><br /><br />Nevertheless, the attorneys, including an attorney appointed to represent the interests of the child, each can play constructive roles. The question then is, how are those roles played out against the backdrop of PAS given the certainty that extreme adversarial conduct will <strong>almost always result in a poor outcome for the parties and the child?</strong> Despite the simultaneous demands to represent the client and to intervene constructively in the PAS, it is possible to be an effective advocate and still deal with the short- and long-term implications of PAS.<br /><br />There is a danger in PAS cases that the professionals will become as split and contentious as the parents, only further demonstrating to the child the inadequacies and ineptness of the adults in his or her world.<br /><br />A lawyer for either the husband or the wife who recognizes that his or her client is either the AP or the TP should begin by giving as much information as is available to the client regarding PAS. The attorney for the TP will find a more receptive audience than the attorney for the AP. <strong>The next step is to identify the alienating behaviors employed by both the TP and the AP and to tell the client to stop the behaviors.</strong> While this may sound sophomoric, clients do listen to their attorneys, whom they are likely to assume have their interests at heart. Obtaining the client's agreement to stop engaging in PAS behaviors is somewhat like obtaining an alcoholic's agreement to stop drinking, since, like drinking, engaging in PAS behavior is ultimately self-defeating for the client. The decision to stop is the first step. Although this may not "cure" the problem, the termination of the destructive behaviors undergirds further progress.<br /><br />The lawyer for the AP has a difficult role. The AP has collected evidence and invested time and energy in his or her role and has rectitude and certainty on his or her side, or so he or she believes. The AP wants badly for the lawyer, the mental health professional, and the system to agree with him or her.<br /><br />The lawyer has been hired, however, for his or her knowledge and judgment. Both attorneys should cooperate with each other, <strong>with the guardian ad litem or other counsel for the child when one has been appointed, and with mental health professionals working on the case.</strong> The interests of the client will be served best when there is a commitment from both parents to the benefits of the children having a healthy relationship with both of them.<br /><br />When an attorney (or nonattorney ombudsman), such as a guardian ad litem, has been appointed to represent the interests of the child, <strong>a special opportunity arises for coordinating the collaboration among the other professionals.</strong> This attorney needs to avoid being swept up in the seductive process of PAS and remain neutral, with a focus on concrete evidence. The AP cannot be rewarded for hysteria or histrionic claims, nor can the TF be permitted to play the role of victim. The child's advocate can serve as the focal point for information, obtaining and disbursing information to the professionals involved and potentially to the court, and can advocate appropriate treatment steps. The lawyer in this role must be active to constructively slow or stop the cancerous growth of the process.<br /><br />Role of the Psychologist<br /><br />If the initial interventions of the attorney do not turn the family to a more constructive route, the next step is to <strong>involve a mental health professional who is familiar with divorce, custody assessment, and PAS in a family assessment. </strong>It is crucial that the attorneys collaborate on the choice of a professional and that efforts be made to avoid bringing in hired guns for each side of the issue. The psychologist must look first to identify whether the case truly is PAS, since in some families, the rejection of a parent by a child is not the result of PAS. The evaluation must go beyond the identification of PAS to the motives of all of the family members, the defense factors or functions of PAS in the family, the specific techniques employed, and the patterns involved.<br /><br />There are several reasons for so thorough an evaluation. First, progress will not be made without treating the factors and motives underlying the PAS. If the family has organized itself around maintaining the fragile mental health of the AP, for example, <strong>pressuring for change likely will lead to more defensiveness</strong>, not less, or <strong>may put the AP at undue risk of a mental breakdown or even suicide</strong>. The AP, in our example, must be given collateral supports and perhaps counseling before pressure for change can be applied. The techniques used to accomplish the alienation can also be good clues as to interventions that are likely to work. For example, if denying the existence of the TP is one of the techniques, a corrective intervention may be for the AP to go to great lengths to acknowledge the importance of the TP to the child.<br /><br />Collaboration<br /><br />Once the evaluation is complete, the mental health professional and the attorneys involved must collaborate on a plan. Each plays an important role in this process. This should be an open process, since the process itself models for the family a healthy problem-solving approach. The intervention plan must be based on the factors in the individual case, though in all cases there will be some similarities in approach, including but not limited to the following steps:<br /><br />1. <strong>Establishing the benefits of ongoing contact between the children and the TP</strong>. Some of these are inherent in the parent/child relationship. Others may be family specific (e.g., "My father may be more willing to contribute to my college expenses if he has ongoing contact with me"). With all family members contributing to the process of identifying the benefits of contact, they begin to incorporate a family culture of valuing the contact rather than disputing it. The family also needs to identify any drawbacks to contact between the child and the TP, but these ought to be reframed as obstacles to be overcome rather than as reasons for elimination.<br /><br />2. 2. <strong>Establishing structure around the contact. This may include behavioral contracts regarding concerns and problematic behavior. Frequent telephone calls by the AP to the child, for example, may prevent the child from having an independent experience with the TP. Contracting to a certain number of calls at certain times may reduce the anxiety. </strong>If the TP makes bothersome statements to the child, contracting can include limiting these. The structure, particularly initially when the system is fragile, must have a reliable system of reporting and enforcement.<br /><br />3. 3. Avoiding the use of placement as a corrective tool. In most cases, the child's relationship with the AP is important. In many instances, the AP has played the role of primary caregiver, and the threat of breaking that attachment may drive the destruction deeper into the family system. However, frequent contact with the TP provides counterbalancing influences to the PAS process and may also provide the child reliable contact with other people (for example, grandparents) who are respected by and important to the child. If necessary, therefore, placement may be a tool to provide corrective experiences for the child.<br /><br />4. Encouraging the TP to have expert counseling in approaching the child with sensitivity, cool patience, and loving persistence. The TP, often the weak link in the destructive system, may be required to provide delicate explanations of the situation to the child without denigrating the AP. Drawing the TP out of the family process first provides the child with some sense of relief from the pressures.<br /><br />5. Eliciting some permission, even if insincere, from the AP for the child to love and be involved with the TP. If the AP is on record as giving such permission, the child may have the courage to progress. This may also provide some reassurance to the child at times, in that others can point out that while the AP may in part be reluctant, there is at least some wish for the relationship between the child and the TP to be successful.<br /><br />6. Having an outside professional take a strong role in protecting the child by giving a powerful message that the TP is nor a bad person, directly opposing the message of the AP. This must fit the real experiences of the child, however. If the TP has misbehaved, this should not be ignored or glossed over.<br /><br />7. <strong>Conveying a clear, strong message to the family that the alienation process is harmful to the child. In some instances, it may be wise to identify PAS as a form of psychological abuse </strong>and to indicate that the courts will not tolerate its continuance. Not all cases require a court order; in some, this may be counterproductive or an exercise in futility. Some cases absolutely cannot proceed without the external authority of the court order, but only if the court is willing to enforce. The judge or family court commissioner, therefore, must be included in the collaborative assessment of the family and the recommended plan of intervention.<br /><br />8. Developing a clear picture of the benefits to the child in maintaining contact with the TP. These include both the general benefits (e.g., the biological needs of the child for the parent; benefits to the identification process; maintaining a reality foundation for the child's fears [no contact will almost always lead to an irrational increase in the fear level, and the fantasies about the TP almost always become irrational]; and prevention of the loss of a love object [which most often leads to self-resentment by the child and guilt, regardless of the cause of the loss]) and the specific benefits given the AP, the TP, the TP's associates, and family. A clear picture of these benefits will help the collaborating professionals take the unambiguous approach required. Any ambivalence regarding the benefits will feed the polarization in the family. If there are no clear benefits to the child, given the nature of the family, treatment may prove fruitless.<br /><br />9. <strong>Realizing that confrontation rarely helps. For example, if the issue is loss, focusing on reducing the loss is more likely to help than confronting the alienation and bringing on the threat of more loss.</strong><br /><br />10. Providing emotional support. The AP may need a great deal of emotional support for correction to take place, as the breakdown of the alienation may bring to the surface serious problems for the AP.<br /><br />CORRECTION, WHEN POSSIBLE, TAKES TIME<br /><br /><strong>The probability of successful intervention is moderately poor</strong> (informal estimates range between a third and a half of these cases resolving well). This may be more of a statement about the state of the art in dealing with the more difficult issues in high-conflict divorces such as those involving PAS, however, than the tenacity of this particular type of conflict. The approaches identified in this article, for example, are relatively new, based on our increasing body of knowledge about high conflict in divorce. It is our responsibility to continue to study and work at these high-conflict cases. Even with the best of approaches, however, the dynamics underlying PAS are resistant to an easy fix and require hard work over a sometimes long period of time to provide the relief all of the family members, including the AP, are likely to experience, and for which each secretly hopes.<br /><br />ENDNOTES<br /><br />1. Throughout this article we will refer to a child in the singular, although in most instances. the same could be applied to the plural, children.<br /><br />2. R. Gardner, Parental Alienation Syndrome and the Differentiation Between Fabricated and Genuine Child Sex Abuse (Cresskill, N.J. 1987).<br /><br />3. Clawar & Rivlin, Children Held Hostage: Dealing with Programmed and Brainwashed Children (American Bar Association 1989).<br /><br />4. Gardner, supra note 2. at 109.<br /><br />5. C.L. Wood, Notes and Comments: The Parental Alienation Syndrome: A Dangerous Aura of Reliability, 27 Loy. L.A. L. Rev. 1367 (Spring 1994).<br /><br />6. Frye v. United States, 293 F. 1013 (D.C. Cir. 1923). superceded by Fed. R. Evid. 702, construed in Daubert v. Merell Dow Pharmaceuticals, Inc., 113 S. Ct. 2786 (1993).<br /><br />7. Wood, supra note 5, at 1411-12<br /><br />8. Karen "PP" v. Clyde "OO", 574 N.Y.S. 2d 267 (Fam. Ct. 1991), aff d sub nom., Karen "PP" v. Clyde "OO", 602 N.Y.S. 2d 709 (App. Div. 1993).<br /><br />9. In the interest of T.M.W., 333 So. 2d 260 (Ra. Dist. Ct. App. 1989).<br /><br />10. In re Rosenfeld and Rosenfeld. 524 N.W.2d 212 (Iowa Ct. App. 1994).<br /><br />11. (Hornby) Simms v. Hornsby (Ohio Ct. App. 12th Dist., 1992)<br /><br />12. In re Marriage of Wiederholt v. Fisher, 485 N.W.2d 442 (Wis. Ct. App. 1992).<br /><br />13. E. Ferri, Growing Up in a One-Parent Family (NFER 1976); J. Santrock, & R Warshak, Father Custody and Social Development in Boys and Girls, 35 J. Soc issues 112 (1979); M. Shinn, Father Absence and Children's Cognitive Development, 85 Psychol. Bull. 295 (1978); C. Marino & R. McCowan, The Effects of Parent Absence on Children, 6 Child Study J. 165 (1976); E. Heatherington, Effects of Paternal Absence on Personality Development in Adolescent Daughters, 7 Developmental Psychol. 313 (1972); R. Sears, E. Maccoby & H. Levin, Patterns in Childrearing (Row Peterson 1957); J. Santrock. Infuence of Onset and Type of Paternal Absence on the First Four Ericksonian Crises, 3 Developmental Psychol. 273 (1970); W. Hedges, R. Wechsler, & C. Ballantine, Divorce and the Pre-school Child, 8 J. Divorce 33 (1979); J. Vess, A. Schwebel, & J. Moreland, The Effects of Early Parental Divorce on the Sex Role Development of College Students, 7 J. Divorce 83 (1983).<br /><br />14. W. Hedges, Interventions for Children of Divorce: Custody Access, and Psychotherapy (New York, John Wiley & Sons, Inc. 1991); R. Gelles, Child Abuse and Violence in Single-Parent Families: Parent Absence and Economic Deprivation, 59 Am. I. Orthopsychiatry 492 (1989).<br /><br />15. Ferri, supra note 13; S. Kellam, M. Ensminger, & F. Turner, Family Structure and the Mental Health of Children: Concurrent and Longitudinal Community-wide Studies, 34 Arch. Gen. Psychiatry 1012 (1977); J. Santrock & R. Tracy, The Effects of Children's Family Structure Status on the Development of Stereotypes by Teachers, 70 J. Educational Psychol. 754 (1979); Hedges, supra note 14; E.E. Maccoby & R.H. Mnookin, Dividing the Child (Harvard Univ. Press 1992); F. Furstenberg & C. Nord, Parenting Apart: Patterns in Childrearing After Marital Disruption, 47 J. Marr. & Fam. 483 (1985); M. Bowman & C. Ahrons, Impact of Legal Custody Status on Father's Parenting Post-divorce, 47 J. Marr. & Fam. 483 (1985); M. Kline et al., Children's Adjustment in Joint and Sole Physical Custody Families, 25 Developmental Psychol. 297 (1989); N. Coyish et al., Parental Post-divorce Adjustment in Joint and Sole Physical Custody Families, 10 J. Fam. Issues 52 (1989); J. Arditti, Differences Between Fathers with Joint Custody and Noncustodial Fathers, 62 Am. J. Orthopsychiatry 186 (1992); J. Wallerstein & J. Kelly, Surviving the Breakup: How Children and Parents Cope with Divorce (Basic Books 1980).<br /><br />Authors<br /><br />Kenneth H. Waldron, Ph.D., is a psychologist in Madison, Wisconsin, with a practice focused on divorce. His practice includes divorce mediation, coparenting counseling, custody assessment, parent education, and consultation to courts and court-connected mediation and investigation services.<br /><br />David E. Joanis practices law with the Madison, Wisconsin, firm of Boushea, Segall & Joanis. His practice focuses exclusively on family lawCAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-67068034658935246502010-03-02T21:33:00.000-08:002010-03-02T21:34:43.586-08:00Parental Alienation Disorder Needs Your Help - Calling All Counselors<h2>Calling all Counselors</h2> <p>The American Counseling Association (ACA) recently asked its members to provide feedback on a draft of the DSM-V– which the ACA will consolidate and forward to the DSM-V Task Force. As many of you know, the DSM is the mental health profession’s bible — the final authority on symptoms and syndromes and the definitive diagnosis on legitimate mental health conditions. The newest edition of the DSM will be released in 2013.</p> <p>More than 60 international experts — academics, authors and mental health professionals — recently submitted a proposal to include parental alienation in the DSM-V. Many groups and individuals are working diligently to make the DSM Task Force aware of the huge number of parents and children currently struggling with the emotional heartbreak of parental alienation. It is also vitally important that all ACA members lobby their organization to include parental alienation in the next edition of the DSM.</p> <p>Including any new diagnosis in the DSM is a long, complex, and some say, political, process. However including parental alienation in the DSM as an Adjustment Disorder should not be difficult. While special interest groups with their own agendas are fighting to keep parental alienation out of the DSM, mental health professionals see Adjustment Disorders related to depression and anxiety all the time. Why is it so hard to believe that a parent with unresolved emotional issues, going through the strain and emotional upheaval of a divorce or separation (the adjustment issue), could put his or her unhealthy emotional needs above the needs of his or her child? Further, why is it so hard to believe that these unhealthy needs might somehow damage, and in some cases destroy, the child’s relationship with the child’s other parent? And finally, why is it so hard to believe that the targeted parent might actually object to these events and turn to mental health professionals to help address an issue that has its roots in mental and emotional health? </p> <p>The deadline for ACA members to provide feedback is March 22, 2010. The member’s ACA ID number is required with the submission. ID numbers can be found on the back of the Journal of Counseling and Development, or on the ACA website after logging in or contacting member services. To contribute, go to <a href="http://www.counseling.org/dsm/comments.html">http://www.counseling.org/dsm/comments.html</a>.</p> <p>Tags: <a href="http://afamilysheartbreak.com/tag/advocacy/" rel="tag">Advocacy</a>, <a href="http://afamilysheartbreak.com/tag/american-counseling-association/" rel="tag">American Counseling Association</a>, <a href="http://afamilysheartbreak.com/tag/dsm/" rel="tag">DSM</a>, <a href="http://afamilysheartbreak.com/tag/parental-alienation/" rel="tag">Parental Alienation</a></p>CAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-34272990587737510852010-02-28T18:30:00.000-08:002010-02-28T18:30:00.596-08:00Round 2 of Campaign to Ask DSM to Include Parental Alienation—We’ve Made Progress, but Need You to Act Again<div class="post hentry category-fathers-families-advocacy-group category-parental-alienationpas" id="post-5971"> <small style="font-style: italic;">February 15th, 2010 by Glenn Sacks, MA, Executive Director</small> <div class="entry"> <p>Fathers & Families wants to ensure that the DSM-5 Task Force is aware of the scope and severity of Parental Alienation. To this end, in December we asked our supporters to write the Task Force to urge them to consider including Parental Alienation Disorder in DSM-5. As usual, your response was overwhelming. It also helped lead to progress–while as expected the newly-released draft version does not specifically include Parental Alienation Disorder, the DSM-5 Task Force has now listed Parental Alienation Disorder among the “<a href="http://www.dsm5.org/ProposedRevisions/Pages/ConditionsProposedbyOutsideSources.aspx" target="_blank">Conditions Proposed by Outside Sources</a>…that are still under consideration by the work groups.”</p> <p>The Task Force says it “welcome[s] your comments on whether available evidence indicates that the following [disorders] should be included in DSM-5.” <strong>Fathers & Families is asking its supporters to write to the Task Force </strong>and again emphasize that Parental Alienation Disorder is a large-scale problem<strong>–to do so, please </strong><strong><a href="http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/?page_id=5372#takeaction" target="_blank">click here.</a></strong></p> <p>As in Round 1, Fathers & Families will print out your letter and send it by regular US mail to the three relevant figures in DSM-V: David J. Kupfer, M.D., the chair of the DSM-V Task Force; Darrel A. Regier, M.D., vice-chair of the DSM-V Task Force; and Daniel S. Pine, M.D., chair of the DSM-V Disorders in Childhood and Adolescence Work Group.</p> <p>This isn’t easy–as Dr. Kupfer recently told the media, ”The door to get in [the manual] is pretty hard.” But Parental Alienation Disorder does merit serious consideration.</p> <p>Many observers have noted that hundreds of mental health professionals, doctors, educators, family law professionals and prominent citizens endorsed our campaign. If you belong to one of these groups and would like to be publicly listed as an endorser, please see our endorsement statement in the right-hand column and submit your name, title, city and state to us at <a href="mailto:GlennSacks@FathersandFamilies.org"> GlennSacks@FathersandFamilies.org</a>.</p> <p>The <em>Pittsburgh Post-Gazette</em> article <a href="http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10046/1036018-114.stm">Mental health professionals getting update on definitions</a> (2/15/10) details the DSM-V process:</p> <blockquote><p>[There are] many questions that scores of mental health professionals wrestled with for nearly a decade, as they conducted their periodic update of the neuroses of an evolving society.</p> <p>The result of their work was unveiled by the American Psychiatric Association last week, as a draft version of the new “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.”</p> <p>Known as the DSM-5, because it represents the fifth edition of this exhaustive bible for psychiatrists, psychologists and others, it attempts to catalog [disorders]…</p> <p>The first update since 1994 also includes descriptions of depression, sleep disorders, alcohol abuse and other common maladies, but everything gets a fresh look because of the volume of new research and science affecting how they’re all regarded, said David Kupfer, the University of Pittsburgh psychiatry professor who chaired the DSM-5 task force.</p> <p>The final product will go into the offices of all sorts of health professionals — from psychiatrists to family practitioners — while also influencing treatment payments by insurance companies, drug development by the pharmaceutical industry and future research by government and academia.</p> <p>Dr. Kupfer, the longtime head of Pitt’s psychiatry department before stepping down in October, said the manual remains a work in progress, with revisions based on public and professional reaction before final publication in 2013.</p> <p>“We weren’t out to make major changes, but so much has happened that we needed to address, that some may accuse us of being overambitious,” he said…Dr. Kupfer…said there is intense discussion during every update about what problems merit entering the manual for the first time…</p> <p>“The door to get in [the manual] is pretty hard,” Dr. Kupfer said. “Once you’re in the club, it’s then hard to get out. All of us are a little tight about admitting people in the club.”</p></blockquote> <p>Again, <strong>write to the DSM-5 Task Force by </strong><strong><a href="http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/?page_id=5372#takeaction" target="_blank">clicking here.</a></strong><strong></strong></p> <p>Together with you in the love of our children,</p> <p>Glenn Sacks, MA<br />Executive Director, Fathers & Families</p> <p>Ned Holstein, M.D., M.S.<br />Founder, Chairman of the Board, Fathers & Families</p> <!-- Social Bookmarks BEGIN --> <div class="social_bookmark"> <a><strong><em>Bookmark This Post:</em></strong></a><br /><div class="d"><br /><a onclick="window.open(this.href, '_blank', 'scrollbars=yes,menubar=no,height=600,width=750,resizable=yes,toolbar=no,location=no,status=no'); return false;" href="http://buzz.yahoo.com/submit?submitUrl=http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/?p=5971&submitHeadline=Round+2+of+Campaign+to+Ask+DSM+to+Include+Parental+Alienation%26%238212%3BWe%26%238217%3Bve+Made+Progress%2C+but+Need+You+to+Act+Again&submitSummary=" rel="nofollow" title="Add to Buzz"><img class="social_img" src="http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/wp-content/plugins/social-bookmarks/images/buzz.png" title="Add to Buzz" alt="Add to Buzz" /></a> <a onclick="window.open(this.href, '_blank', 'scrollbars=yes,menubar=no,height=600,width=750,resizable=yes,toolbar=no,location=no,status=no'); 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You can follow any responses to this entry through the <a href="http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/?feed=rss2&p=5971">RSS 2.0</a> feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can <a href="http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/wp-trackback.php?p=5971" rel="trackback">trackback</a> from your own site. </small> </p> </div> </div>CAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-26891821529320798422010-02-27T14:45:00.000-08:002010-02-27T14:45:00.674-08:00Parental Alienation Destroys Lives.... Forever. It is Time to End Parental Alienation!<em>Children suffer permanent damage from vindictive, hateful ex spouses who keep them away from the other parent. It is a Child Battery.<br /><br />The types of lies that are told, visitation withheld, and isolation and alienation are nothing less than child abuse - CAConservative.</em><h3 class="post-title entry-title"><a href="http://alecbaldwinisnotalone.blogspot.com/2010/02/parental-alienation-destroys-lives.html">Parental Alienation Destroys Lives.... Forever</a> </h3> <div class="post-body entry-content"> The damage done from parental alienation will last throughout a child's life. The one person who was most important to them has been defamed not only by the custodial parent... but by the child as well. What a heavy burden for one to carry throughout their lives. That they not only lost their father/mother for life... but they played a part in removing that person <span style="font-style: italic;">from</span> their life. My guess is that any child who goes through parental alienation will go through their life incomplete, anxiety ridden, and with many misplaced feelings.<br /><br />Gary's own daughter will turn eighteen this year. She's been doing a series of vlogs on youtube, and to me they are quite interesting. She's no longer slamming him and burning his picture hoping that he burns in hell. No. She doesn't even mention his name. It's as though he never existed. She's all happy and everything... or so she seems. But I can see through her facade. This kid will have problems all of her life. Her dad was a wonderful father, and she lost him at 13 and she played a part in that alienation.... something she will either some day have to face, or go through her life living with a lie that will affect every aspect of her life. I feel sorry for her. </div> <p> <span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn">chambrayblue</span> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"> </span> <span class="post-icons"> <span class="item-action"> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=5534829830976289235&postID=3304722123740752278" title="Email Post"> <img alt="" class="icon-action" src="http://www.blogger.com/img/icon18_email.gif" height="13" width="18" /></a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=5534829830976289235&postID=3304722123740752278" title="Email Post"> </a> </span></span></p><p><a href="http://alecbaldwinisnotalone.blogspot.com/2010/02/parental-alienation-destroys-lives.html" mce_href="http://alecbaldwinisnotalone.blogspot.com/2010/02/parental-alienation-destroys-lives.html">Alec Baldwin is not Alone: Parental Alienation Destroys Lives.... Forever</a>.</p>CAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-9181244874249127182010-02-27T05:00:00.000-08:002010-02-27T05:00:05.241-08:00Capitol Weekly: Preventing courts from considering Parental Alienation will harm kids<div class="articleAttrib"> <div class="byLine"><span style="font-style: italic;">This is an excellent article in response to an attack by a misinformed DV shelter advocate and publicist who has bought into the feminist argument that the reason for all divorce is domestic violence. Parental Alienation is a fact of life for millions of children, and it is also a fact that the vast majority of cases does not involve domestic violence, battery or other issues. It is also a fact that false allegations of domestic violence feed the frenzy of divorce attorneys and the millions of individuals who are just seeking revenge in divorce against their ex spouse.<br />M.G.<br /><br /></span>By <a href="http://www.capitolweekly.net/author.php?_c=ynlhdkso8dpxgf&1=&xid=ynlb41war6hksj" mce_href="http://www.capitolweekly.net/author.php?_c=ynlhdkso8dpxgf&1=&xid=ynlb41war6hksj">Glenn Sacks</a>, <a href="http://www.capitolweekly.net/author.php?_c=ynlhdkso8dpxgf&1=&xid=ynlb5rc9dq5l37" mce_href="http://www.capitolweekly.net/author.php?_c=ynlhdkso8dpxgf&1=&xid=ynlb5rc9dq5l37">Michael Robinson</a> | <span class="articleAttribDate">02/25/10 12:00 AM PST</span></div> </div> <div class="articleShareBar"> <div class="shareBar"> <div class="shareItem"><a href="http://www.capitolweekly.net/emailArticle.php?_c=ynlhdkso8dpxgf&xid=ynlb864byy5ll0&done=.ynnu6115b78qdm" mce_href="http://www.capitolweekly.net/emailArticle.php?_c=ynlhdkso8dpxgf&xid=ynlb864byy5ll0&done=.ynnu6115b78qdm"><img src="http://www.capitolweekly.net/img/ico_email.gif?_c=ynlhdkso8dpxgf" mce_src="http://www.capitolweekly.net/img/ico_email.gif?_c=ynlhdkso8dpxgf" alt="" height="15" width="17" /> Email</a> <a href="http://www.capitolweekly.net/article.php?_c=ynlhdkso8dpxgf&xid=ynlb864byy5ll0&done=.ynm8qconv20pp5&success#" mce_href="http://www.capitolweekly.net/article.php?_c=ynlhdkso8dpxgf&xid=ynlb864byy5ll0&done=.ynm8qconv20pp5&success#"><img src="http://www.capitolweekly.net/img/ico_print.gif?_c=ynlhdkso8dpxgf" mce_src="http://www.capitolweekly.net/img/ico_print.gif?_c=ynlhdkso8dpxgf" alt="" height="15" width="17" /> Print</a><br /></div> <div class="shareItem"><a href="https://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" mce_href="https://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php"><img src="https://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/lg-share-en.gif" mce_src="https://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/lg-share-en.gif" alt="" border="0" height="16" width="125" /></a><br /></div> </div> </div> <div class="articleBody"> <p>In “Parental Alienation must be excluded” (Capitol Weekly, Feb. 8), Preston Thymes, the head of public relations for the domestic violence service provider Shelter Outreach Plus, criticizes efforts by Fathers & Families and others to promote recognition of Parental Alienation. While Thymes and Shelter Outreach Plus often do noble work in aiding battered women, Thymes misunderstands several key aspects of Parental Alienation and child custody battles.</p> <p>The <b>Family Law Section of the State Bar of California</b> explains that alienation tactics often include:</p> <p>“[C]ancel[ing] the other parent’s visit without telling the child that the visit has been cancelled, creating a ‘let down’ for the child when that parent does not ‘show up’ for the visit. Threats could also be made against the child for wanting to have visitation with the other parent - ‘Fine, if you want to see [your other parent] tonight, then you are grounded for the rest of the week.’</p> <p>Guilt can also be used to influence a child to avoid visitation - ‘I’m not feeling well and I wish you would stay here with me, but if you have to see [your other parent] I will understand.’ Rewards can also be used - ‘Sure, you can see [your other parent] today, but I thought we would go play laser tag with your friends today.’”</p> <p><b>Parental Alienation is a common, well-documented phenomenon that is the subject of numerous studies and articles in peer-reviewed scholarly journals</b>. For example, a longitudinal study published by the American Bar Association in 2003 followed 700 “high conflict” divorce cases over a 12 year period and<i> found that elements of PA were present in the vast majority of the cases studied.</i></p> <p>At <i>Fathers & Families</i>, we receive thousands of heart-wrenching calls and letters from parents whose children have been taught to fear or hate them. Both mothers and fathers can be perpetrators of Parental Alienation, <b>but the true victims are always the children</b>.<br />Thymes asserts that recognizing Parental Alienation as a legitimate issue in custody cases would endanger abused children. But in genuine cases of domestic violence or child abuse, all sides agree that courts need to protect children from abusive parents. Yet there is a large body of evidence which shows that false accusations of domestic violence are a major problem in child custody cases.</p> <p>Unfortunately, Shelter Outreach Plus, like many domestic violence service providers,<b> displays a troubling lack of awareness of this problem.</b> Thymes writes:<br />“At Shelter Outreach plus, we render any claims of Parental Alienation invalid…we absolutely do everything we can to keep [the father alleged to be abusive] away from those children [including] our legal advocates through restraining orders…”</p> <p>Thymes apparently feels that a <b>mere accusation equals the truth</b>, and that judges should not even consider whether an accuser is misleading the court.<br />Thymes and Shelter Outreach Plus favor AB 612, a bill to bar litigants or custody evaluators from making any reference to Parental Alienation in family court.<b> This deeply-flawed bill, which will be considered by the Senate Judiciary Committee this spring</b>, is opposed by practically all organizations which represent the professionals who work in the family law field.</p> <p>Those listed as opposed include:<b> the Judicial Council; the California Judges Association; the Family Law Section of the State Bar; the California Psychological Association; the Association of Certified Family Law Specialists; the Association of Family Conciliation Courts</b>; and numerous others.</p> <p>The California Psychological Association writes that the bill ignores the<b> “significant scientific and agreed-upon knowledge base of the last 30 years on children who are alienated” and describes AB 612 as a “scientifically inaccurate measure [which] assumes the truth of any accusation of abuse.”</b></p> <p>The Assembly analysis explains that AB 612 is so extreme that if it is passed, in court “something as simple as a child not wanting to visit a parent cannot, potentially as a matter of law, be caused by the other parent.”<br />The analysis notes:</p> <p>”[A]ny broad restriction on the information the court can consider could well unintentionally compromise the court’s ability to make determinations that are in children’s best interests, and could inadvertently compromise child safety.”</p> <p>Certainly there are fathers (and mothers) who have alienated their children through inept parenting, narcissism, drug or alcohol problems, or abuse, and who attempt to shift the blame to their exes by falsely claiming Parental Alienation. Sometimes, as research by Janet R. Johnston Ph.D. of San Jose State University confirms, Parental Alienation exists but is only one of several factors causing a deterioration of the parent-child bond.</p> <p>Sometimes parental alienators are unaware of their harmful actions.</p> <p><b><br />Nevertheless, Parental Alienation is a serious problem.</b> When fact-finding in custody cases, judges and custody evaluators must be able to properly consider all available evidence. When abuse is alleged, the accusation merits serious consideration.</p> <p>When Parental Alienation is alleged, the accusation merits serious consideration, too.</p> </div> <div class="articleDone"><a href="http://www.capitolweekly.net/opinion?1&" mce_href="http://www.capitolweekly.net/opinion?1&">« Done</a><br /></div> <p><a href="http://www.capitolweekly.net/article.php?_c=ynlhdkso8dpxgf&xid=ynlb864byy5ll0&done=.ynm8qconv20pp5&success" mce_href="http://www.capitolweekly.net/article.php?_c=ynlhdkso8dpxgf&xid=ynlb864byy5ll0&done=.ynm8qconv20pp5&success">Capitol Weekly: Preventing courts from considering parental alienation will harm kids</a>.</p>CAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-9641108431040767012010-02-26T08:00:00.000-08:002010-02-26T08:00:06.378-08:00Solutions for Parental Alienation (PAS) Part 2<table style="border-collapse: collapse;" border="1" width="600"><tbody><tr><td width="497"><h3 align="center">Solutions for Parental Alienation (PAS) Part 2<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">by Martyn Carruthers</span></h3> <p align="center"><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:85%;"><i> <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/projects/telephone_coaching.htm">Would you like to benefit from our experience?</a></i></span></p></td> <td> <img src="http://www.soulwork.net/images/Martyn%20Rijeka.jpg" border="0" height="99" width="102" /></td> </tr> </tbody></table> <p align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;"><i> We offer private and telephone coaching and training on systemic coaching,<br />quality relationships, family chaos and resolving parenting stress.</i></span></p> <p align="center"><a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/pas.htm"><span style="font-size:85%;">PAS Part 1 - Before Adolescence</span></a><span style="font-size:85%;"> . <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/emotional_incest.htm">Emotional Incest</a></span></p> <h3 align="center"> Parental Alienation Part 2 - After Adolescence</h3> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">Often, children perceive their parents in a black or white world. They may generally perceive one parent as <i>rejecting</i>, and the other parent as <i>rejected</i>.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">During and after <i>adolescence</i>, children become biologically ready for partnership and parenthood. Adolescents who accept unhealthy relationship habits as <i>normal</i> may feel unable fulfill these needs. Instead, teenagers may withdraw or express emotional outbursts. The consequences can include:</span></p> <ul><li><span style="font-size:85%;">desperate search for adult role models</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">delayed <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/emotional_maturity.htm">emotional maturity</a> - perhaps for years</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">emotional bonding to same-sex parent (homosexuality)</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">emotional bonding to opposite sex parent (<a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/emotional_incest.htm">e</a><a title="Emotional incest and PAS" href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/emotional_incest.htm">motional incest</a>)</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">chronic <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/chronic_anger_rage.htm">anger</a>, <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/depression.htm">d</a><a title="Depression PAS children who hate father" href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/depression.htm">epression</a>, <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/chronic_anxiety.htm">anxiety</a> and / or <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/l_disabilities.htm">l</a><a title="Prevent Learning Disabilities" href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/l_disabilities.htm">earning disabilities</a></span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">high motivation to dissociate (alcohol, drug abuse or other <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/addictions.htm">addictions</a>)</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">teenage-onset <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/schizophrenia.htm">schizophrenia</a> or <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/bipolar.htm">bi-polar disorder</a> or <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/passive_aggressive.htm">passive aggression</a></span></li></ul> <h3 align="left">Emotional Maturity</h3> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">Before emotional adolescence (which may be delayed), an adult child is likely to accept and express the <i>rejecting</i> parent's qualities. On gaining <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/emotional_maturity.htm">emotional maturity</a>, the young adult may start accepting the <i>rejected</i> parent in a number of ways, including:</span></p> <ol><li><span style="font-size:85%;">lives with the rejected parent (may avoid the rejecting parent)</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">identifies with the qualities of the rejected partner (<i><a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/identification.htm">Identification</a></i>)</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">oscillates between mother's and father's behavior (<a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/chronic_conflict.htm"><i>Identity Conflict</i>)</a></span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">partners a person who has qualities of the rejected parent (<i><a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/transference.htm">Transference</a></i>)</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">suffers trauma, depression or breakdown and retreats from reality (<i><a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/identity_loss.htm">Lost Identity</a></i>)</span></li></ol> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">If ignored, this unpleasant drama may well continue into subsequent generations. The rejecting parent, the rejected parent and the adolescent children can benefit from our coaching, which we can provide individually or simultaneously (systemic family coaching).</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">Parental alienation affects the <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/sense-of-life.htm">sense of life</a> of children. People affected by PAS may become unable to feel joyously connected to their friends, partners, families, humanity and to their God. If human connectedness can be replaced by depression and suffering, then PAS is a deeply spiritual issue.</span></p> <p align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;"> <a title="Systemic family therapy - therapeutic coaching" href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/family_therapy.htm"> Systemic Family Coaching</a> . <a title="Systemic couple coaching - PAS family therapy" href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/couple.htm"> Systemic Couple Coaching</a> . <a title="Systemic relationship coaching private sessions" href="http://www.soulwork.net/projects/private_coaching.htm"> Private Coaching</a></span></p> <h3>Chronic Anger</h3> <p align="left"><span style="font-size:85%;">A symptom set commonly associated with Parent Alienation is <i><a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/chronic_anger_rage.htm">Victim Identification</a></i>. If the child perceives one parent as a victim, the child may identify with that parent and express anger or rage to the other parent (the victimizer), often explosively and inappropriately. After adolescence, the same child may identify with the rejected parent (now seen as the <i>real</i> victim) and express anger to the <i>rejecting</i> parent (now seen as the <i>real</i> victimizer).</span></p> <h3 align="left">Chronic Conflict</h3> <p align="left"><span style="font-size:85%;">If a child tries to remain loyal to both parents, and those parents are in conflict, the child will likely be in conflict. The <i> side</i> of the child that supports the father will object to the <i>side</i> of the child that supports the other parent. The result is <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/chronic_conflict.htm">identity conflict</a>. We can coach you to resolve these issues. </span></p> <center> <table style="border-collapse: collapse;" border="1" width="78%"> <tbody><tr> <td bg style="color:#ffffcc;"> <p align="center"><i><span style="font-size:85%;">My ex-partner played a victim role very well, gained the sympathy of the judge and was awarded custody of our two children ... our older child is now perpetually angry, and the younger suffers from endless inner conflict.</span></i></p></td> </tr> </tbody></table> </center> <p align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;"><a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/emotional_incest.htm">Emotional Incest</a> . <a title="systemic personality identification" href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/identification.htm"> Identification</a> . <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/l_disabilities.htm">Learning Disabilities</a> . <a title="adjustment disorders" href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/adjustment.htm">Stress Disorders</a></span></p> <h3>Power & Privilege</h3> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">Emotional blackmail is a common strategy for gaining and maintaining the benefits of child custody, even though a mother who disrupts father-child contact <i>defined by court order</i> may be acting illegally.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">The <i>best interests of the child</i>, in a court of law, rarely mean the child’s best interests. Parents can vote, parents can file lawsuits and parents can pay lawyers. The child’s interests and rights are usually subordinate to the parents' interests. Children of divorce are rarely represented in court, and may be emotionally crushed during their parent's childishness, rivalry and power games.</span></p> <p align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;"> <a title="seperation and children" href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/divorce.htm">Divorce</a> . <a title="Divorce and kids" href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/divorce_kids.htm">Children of Divorce</a> . <a title="Coaching parents to parent" href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/parent_coaching.htm">Parent Coaching</a></span></p> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">Pleasure may be senseless for parents who have hurt or damaged their own children. Many people, fter alienating a once-loved partner, seem to <i>depress</i> their lives. Some common symptoms are:</span></p> <center> <table style="border-collapse: collapse;" border="0" width="81%"> <tbody><tr> <td bg width="235" style="color:#ffffcc;"> <ul><li><span style="font-size:85%;">Ignore personal hygiene</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">Avoid completing essential tasks</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">Avoid keeping track of finances</span></li></ul> </td> <td bg style="color:#ffffcc;"> <ul><li><span style="font-size:85%;">Ignore important problems</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">Consider self-harm or suicide</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">Do things that create problems</span></li></ul> </td> </tr> </tbody></table></center> <h3>Typical PAS Scenario</h3> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">Either parent can initiate a sequence of events leading to Parental Alienation Syndrome.</span></p> <ol><li><span style="font-size:85%;">A separated parent states that a child does not wish to visit the other parent</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">A social worker confirms that the child does not wish to visit the other parent</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">The custodial parent and social worker report to a court</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">A court limits the child's contact with the other parent</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">The child and rejecting parent bond by their rejection of the other parent</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">The child and rejected parent lose contact until the child is adolescent</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;"><i>After</i> adolescence, the child returns to and bonds to the rejected parent</span></li></ol> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">Many people who suffered PAS as children told us that they could not cope with this situation as children, and avoided, rather than hated, the other parent. If the rejecting parent continues to reject the qualities of the rejected partner, the adult child may come to avoid or even hate the rejecting parent.</span></p> <center> <table style="border-collapse: collapse;" border="0" width="553"> <tbody><tr> <td bg style="color:#ffffcc;"> <p align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;"><i>The toxicity of PAS is not only in the description of the syndrome but also in the solutions chosen by courts. Sometimes, if PAS is diagnosed, the hated parent is given custody of the child, against the child's own will. This is becoming common in America.</i> TM, Therapist</span></p></td> </tr> </tbody></table> </center> <h3>Emotional Maturity & Child Abuse</h3> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">Children may suffer from the sometimes vicious tactics that immature parents may use to punish each other. Although immature parents express depression, anger, and aggression by withdrawing love, alienating a child's parent is child abuse. Our systemic coaching can dissolve the consequences of:</span></p> <ul><li><span style="font-size:85%;"><a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/affairs.htm">betrayal</a> of one partner by the other</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">physical, emotional or sexual <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/abuse.htm">abuse</a></span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">instilling children with false memories</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">using children as 'dependent hostages'</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;"><a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/emotional_incest.htm">emotional incest</a> & <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/passive_aggressive.htm">passive aggression</a></span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">court ordered suffering - custody by the hated parent</span></li></ul> <p align="left"><span style="font-size:85%;"><i> Spirituality</i> seems to be about acquiring virtues - and people often develop virtues under challenging conditions. If you experience <i>danger</i>, you can develop courage, and if you experience <i>lack</i>, you can develop generosity. If you experience <i>guilt</i> you can develop purity, and if you experience <i>depression</i>, you can develop compassion. What can <b>you</b> develop if you experience parental alienation?</span></p> <p align="center"><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:85%;"><i> <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/projects/telephone_coaching.htm">Would you like to benefit from our experience?</a></i></span></p> <p align="left"><span style="font-size:78%;">Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2004-2010 All rights reserved.</span></p>CAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-18724246825970558512010-02-25T10:00:00.000-08:002010-02-25T10:00:04.768-08:00Resolve Parental Alienation (PAS) Part 1<table style="border-collapse: collapse;" border="1" width="600"><tbody><tr><td width="497"><h3 align="center">Resolve Parental Alienation (PAS) Part 1<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">by Martyn Carruthers</span></h3> <p align="center"><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:85%;"><i> <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/projects/telephone_coaching.htm">Would you like to benefit from our experience?</a></i></span></p></td> <td> <img src="http://www.soulwork.net/images/Martyn%20Rijeka.jpg" border="0" height="99" width="102" /></td> </tr> </tbody></table> <p align="center"> <span style="font-size:85%;"><i> We offer coaching and training on family coaching, relationship happiness,<br />dissolving emotional incest and resolving parenting stress.</i></span></p> <h3 align="center">Parent Alienation 1: Before Adolescence</h3> <p align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;"><a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/PAS_2.htm">Parent Alienation 2: After Adolescence</a> . <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/emotional_incest.htm">Emotional Incest</a></span></p> <h3>When Children Hate Parents</h3> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">Although it is a crime to '<i>incite hatred on the basis of color, religion, or creed</i>', inciting hatred is common in dysfunctional families. A family member may be manipulated to hate another family member. A parent who incites a child to hate the other parent is guilty of Parental Alienation (PAS) - sometimes called <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/emotional_blackmail.htm">emotional blackmail</a>. Children are abused so that a partner can gain an advantage.</span></p> <center> <table style="border-collapse: collapse;" border="1" cellpadding="0" width="537"> <tbody><tr> <td bg style="color:#ffffcc;"> <p align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;"><i>Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is often accompanied by <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/emotional_incest.htm">emotional incest</a>, in which a parent or guardian seems to be too close to a child. Often, the resulting <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/bonds.htm">relationship bonds</a> cannot be rationalized and changed without help.</i></span></p></td> </tr> </tbody></table> </center> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">Many consequences are immediate, and some are delayed for years. Later in life many abused people experience intense buried emotions and limiting beliefs from this damage, although they rarely identify the root cause. Common consequences of PAS are <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/abuse-spiritual.htm">mentor damage</a>, <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/chronic_conflict.htm">chronic conflict</a> and <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/chronic_anger_rage.htm"> identification with a victim</a>.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">Parents who deliberately hurt children may feel a diminished relationship with their community, with their God and with humanity. (This diminished <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/sense-of-life.htm">sense of life</a> seems to be equally true for agnostics and atheists.) By <i>Sense of Life</i> I refer to the sense of purpose and meaning you ascribe to your life.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">Our systemic coaching can help prevent <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/partnership_breakdown.htm">partnership breakdown</a>, dissolve its consequences and prevent recurrence. PAS is not gender-based - both fathers and mothers play and lose this terrible game.</span></p> <h3><span style="font-size:130%;">My Child Hates Me! / I Hate My Father!</span></h3> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">There are systemic causes and consequences when a child rejects a parent. Both the family and the community (and courts) often respond emotionally, usually to support the weaker parent, regardless of any manipulation used to incite the child's rejection or to make the other partner seem somehow <i>bad</i>.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">In extreme cases, a child victim of parental alienation may commit abuse and violence against a parent. A child, especially during adolescence (which may be delayed) may attack or abuse the hated parent.</span></p> <h3>Who Gets Hurt?</h3> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">Children are intelligent and sensitive to family relationships. Although many adults may consider children to be stupid and naive - children may be unable to communicate their observations using adult language, and be may ignored or ridiculed if they try. Children often communicate with <i>symptoms</i>.</span></p> <ul><li><span style="font-size:85%;">A child may be manipulated by a parent who wants to punish the other, or for custody</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">A child may be simultaneously manipulated by both parents to reject each other</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">A child may be guided by family, community or <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/exit_coach.htm">cult</a> members to reject their parents</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;"><a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/adoption.htm">Adopted children</a> may be encouraged to dislike or reject their birth parents</span></li></ul> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">A child who rejects a parent, the rejected parent and the supported parent will show predictable, often severe emotional consequences. The suffering associated with these consequences is often ignored.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">Parent Alienation Syndrome may include <a title="Emotional Incest" href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/emotional_incest.htm">emotional incest</a>. If so, later in life, the <i>emotionally entangled</i> or <i>enmeshed</i> adult child may suffer partnership problems and sexual dysfunction.</span></p> <p align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;"><a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/coaching_children.htm">Coaching Children</a> . <a title="Mother Son Emotional incest" href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/little_prince.htm"> Mother-Son Entanglement</a> . <a title="Father-Daughter emotional incest" href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/daddy%27s_princess.htm"> Father-Daughter Bonds</a></span></p> <h3>Parents who Alienate Children</h3> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">Parental alienation predicts common behavior patterns that we often see during marriage counseling, family therapy and couple coaching, especially concerning separation and custody of children. However, most families, communities and courts seem to support biological mothers and deny support or custody to biological or substitute fathers, regardless of <i>facts</i>.</span></p> <h3>Parental Alienation Syndrome</h3> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">Either parent can initiate a sequence of events leading to PAS.</span></p> <ol><li><span style="font-size:85%;">A custodial parent of pre-adolescent children rejects the partner</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">The children are loyal to that parent by rejecting their other parent</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">The custodial parent asks the children to <i>tell the truth</i></span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">The children support their custodial parent and reject their other parent - with lies</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">The rejection of the other parent may include false memories implanted by the custodial parent</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">Following <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/emotional_reality_2.htm">emotional maturity</a>, alienated children may reject their custodial parent and turn to their rejected parent</span></li></ol> <h3>Sequence of Parental Alienation</h3> <ol><li><span style="font-size:85%;">The parents of children experience a partnership crisis that they cannot resolve</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">Instead of getting help, they become emotionally entangled in their crisis</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">One or both parents neglect the consequences on their children</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">One parent consciously rejects the partner's qualities (behavior, beliefs and / or values)</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;"> That parent also rejects the partner's qualities <i>in the child (</i>e.g. <i>don't act like your father!)</i></span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">The child denies or suppresses qualities similar to those of the rejected parent</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">The child identifies with the rejecting parent, who is often perceived as a victim</span><br /></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">The child dislikes and represses the <i>dangerous</i> qualities of the rejected parent</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">The child dislikes people who have similar qualities to the rejected parent</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">The child rejects the rejected parent - privately or publicly</span></li></ol> <center> <table style="border-collapse: collapse;" border="0" width="558"> <tbody><tr> <td bg style="color:#ffffcc;"> <p align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;"><i>The toxicity of PAS is not only in the description of the syndrome but also in the solutions chosen by courts. Sometimes, if PAS is diagnosed, the hated parent is given custody of the child, against the child's own will. This is becoming common in America. </i>TM, Therapist</span></p></td> </tr> </tbody></table> <h3 align="center"><a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/PAS_2.htm">Part 2: After Adolescence</a></h3> </center> <h3>Immaturity & Child Abuse</h3> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">Children may suffer from the sometimes vicious tactics that immature parents may use to punish each other. Although immature parents express depression, anger, and aggression by withdrawing love, alienating a child's parent is child abuse. We coach people to dissolve the consequences of:</span></p> <ul><li><span style="font-size:85%;"><a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/emotional_incest.htm">emotional incest</a></span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">physical, emotional or sexual <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/abuse.htm">abuse</a></span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">instilling children with false memories</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">abusing children as <i>dependent hostages</i></span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">betrayal or abandonment of one partner by the other</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">court ordered suffering - child custody by the hated parent</span></li></ul> <p align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;">Legal Solutions for PAS ... <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/prices.htm">Your Next Step</a></span></p> <p align="center"><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:85%;"><i> <a href="http://www.soulwork.net/projects/telephone_coaching.htm">Would you like to benefit from our experience?</a></i></span></p> <p align="left"><span style="font-size:78%;">Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2004-2010 All rights reserved.</span></p>CAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-78966291265046796602010-02-24T19:20:00.000-08:002010-02-24T19:20:00.538-08:00Kids Aiding Parental Alienation Awareness Organization<div><strong><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: rgb(255, 105, 180); font-size: 18pt;">K</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: rgb(30, 144, 255); font-size: 18pt;">A</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: rgb(255, 105, 180); font-size: 18pt;">P</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: rgb(30, 144, 255); font-size: 18pt;">A</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: rgb(255, 105, 180); font-size: 18pt;">A</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: rgb(30, 144, 255); font-size: 18pt;">O</span></strong> was created as a place for adult children of alienation to come together, help each other, and also help PAAO in how to be able to help children going through Parental Alienation (PA) now and in the future. </div> <div><br /> </div> <div>To read stories from adult children, <a href="http://www.paawareness.org/awarness-lettersKids.asp">click here.</a> </div> <div> </div> <div> </div> <div>What Is PA? (Parental Alienation)<a href="http://www.paawareness.org/what-is-pa.asp"> click here </a></div> <div> </div> <p align="center"><img alt="Parental Alienation Awareness Day - April 25" src="http://www.paawarenessday.org/images/banner.gif" border="0" hspace="11" /></p> <p align="center"><a href="http://www.paawarenessday.org/volunteer.asp"><img src="http://www.paawarenessday.org/images/bannerPAAD.gif" border="0" /></a></p> <div align="center"> </div> <div> </div> <div><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 105, 180); font-size: 10pt;"><strong><span style="color: rgb(30, 144, 255); font-size: 10pt;"> </span></strong></span></span></div> <div align="center"> <div align="center"><span style="font-family: Monotype Corsiva; color: rgb(148, 0, 211);"><span style="color: rgb(255, 105, 180);"><img style="width: 534px; height: 75px;" alt="" src="http://kapaao.paawareness.org/assets/linekids.gif" border="0" height="61" width="514" /></span></span></div></div>CAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-72201489335758707212010-02-24T10:28:00.000-08:002010-02-24T10:31:41.033-08:00Parental Alienation Syndrome — The Parent/Child Disconnect<p><strong><br /> By Amy J. L. Baker, PhD<br /> <em>Social Work Today</em><br /> Vol. 8 No. 6 P. 26</strong></p> <p><em>Divorce and separation can breed bad blood between parents and children when one partner uses the children to target the other partner.</em></p> <p>Among the many areas of concern for social workers working with divorced or separated couples with children are two related problems: parental alienation, or the efforts on the part of one parent to turn a child against the other parent, and parental alienation syndrome, or a child’s unwarranted rejection of one parent in response to the attitudes and actions of the other parent. Social workers may encounter these problems in a number of settings, such as family service agencies, schools, and family court, as well as in private practice working with high-conflict divorcing couples, parents who believe that the other parent has or will turn the children against them, alienated children refusing to see a parent, adults who are still alienated from a parent, or elders who have “lost” their children to parental alienation.</p> <p>While some social workers may be unaware of the name for this particular phenomenon, they have probably dealt with it over the course of their careers. For example, clients may enter individual therapy presenting with anxiety, depression, or relationship problems and later reveal that they have been cut off from one parent by another parent. These clients may be unaware of the meaning of the lost relationship and may even minimize its effect on their growth, development, and current mental health concerns. </p> <p>Children referred to a school social worker for acting out or experiencing academic problems may casually reveal that they have no contact with a “hated” parent. When questioned about the absent parent, these children may vehemently denounce the parent as “good riddance to bad rubbish.” The family of such a child may be maneuvering behind the scenes to exclude the other parent from the child’s school life by misrepresenting that parent’s intentions to school staff, withholding information from that parent to create the appearance of a lack of interest, and removing contact information from school records. </p> <p>A third scenario is represented by clients who enter therapy consumed with fear that the other parent is turning the children against them. Such parents will be desperate for advice and guidance about how to cope with the chronic provocation of the other parent. These parents live with anxiety, depression, and helplessness, as well as feelings of victimization by the other parent, the child, and myriad systems (legal, mental health, school) that are not always responsive to the needs of targeted parents.</p> <p>In all these cases, social workers may formulate a hypothesis that one parent has engineered the child’s rejection of the other parent. However, unless the social worker is familiar with parental alienation and parental alienation syndrome, he or she is missing a useful conceptual framework for understanding how one parent is able to poison a child’s relationship with the other parent in the absence of just cause. </p> <p>Parental alienation is a set of strategies that a parent uses to foster a child’s rejection of the other parent. Parental alienation syndrome develops in children who come to hate, fear, and reject the targeted parent as someone unworthy of having a relationship with them. Richard Gardner, PhD, who coined parental alienation syndrome, described in <strong><em>The Parental Alienation Syndrome: A Guide for Mental Health and Legal Professionals</em></strong> that there are eight behavioral components that have been validated in a survey of 68 targeted parents of severely alienated children (Baker & Darnall, 2007).</p> <p><strong>Eight Manifestations of Parental Alienation Syndrome</strong></p> <p><strong><em>1. A Campaign of Denigration</em></strong><br /> Alienated children are consumed with hatred of the targeted parent. They deny any positive past experiences and reject all contact and communication. Parents who were once loved and valued seemingly overnight become hated and feared. </p> <p><strong><em>2. Weak, Frivolous, and Absurd Rationalizations</em></strong><br /> When alienated children are questioned about the reasons for their intense hostility toward the targeted parent, the explanations offered are not of the magnitude that typically would lead a child to reject a parent. These children may complain about the parent’s eating habits, food preparation, or appearance. They may also make wild accusations that could not possibly be true. </p> <p><strong><em>3. Lack of Ambivalence About the Alienating Parent</em></strong><br /> Alienated children exhibit a lack of ambivalence about the alienating parent, demonstrating an automatic, reflexive, idealized support. That parent is perceived as perfect, while the other is perceived as wholly flawed. If an alienated child is asked to identify just one negative aspect of the alienating parent, he or she will probably draw a complete blank. This presentation is in contrast to the fact that most children have mixed feelings about even the best of parents and can usually talk about each parent as having both good and bad qualities. </p> <p><strong><em>4. The “Independent Thinker” Phenomenon</em></strong><br /> Even though alienated children appear to be unduly influenced by the alienating parent, they will adamantly insist that the decision to reject the targeted parent is theirs alone. They deny that their feelings about the targeted parent are in any way influenced by the alienating parent and often invoke the concept of free will to describe their decision. </p> <p><strong><em>5. Absence of Guilt About the Treatment of the Targeted Parent </em></strong><br /> Alienated children typically appear rude, ungrateful, spiteful, and cold toward the targeted parent, and they appear to be impervious to feelings of guilt about their harsh treatment. Gratitude for gifts, favors, or child support provided by the targeted parent is nonexistent. Children with parental alienation syndrome will try to get whatever they can from that parent, declaring that it is owed to them. </p> <p><strong><em>6. Reflexive Support for the Alienating Parent in Parental Conflict </em></strong><br /> Intact families, as well as recently separated and long-divorced couples, will have occasion for disagreement and conflict. In all cases, the alienated child will side with the alienating parent, regardless of how absurd or baseless that parent’s position may be. There is no willingness or attempt to be impartial when faced with interparental conflicts. Children with parental alienation syndrome have no interest in hearing the targeted parent’s point of view. Nothing the targeted parent could do or say makes any difference to these children. </p> <p><strong><em>7. Presence of Borrowed Scenarios </em></strong><br /> Alienated children often make accusations toward the targeted parent that utilize phrases and ideas adopted from the alienating parent. Indications that a scenario is borrowed include the use of words or ideas that the child does not appear to understand, speaking in a scripted or robotic fashion, as well as making accusations that cannot be supported with detail. </p> <p><strong><em>8. Rejection of Extended Family</em></strong><br /> Finally, the hatred of the targeted parent spreads to his or her extended family. Not only is the targeted parent denigrated, despised, and avoided but so are his or her extended family. Formerly beloved grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins are suddenly and completely avoided and rejected. </p> <p>In a recent study (Baker & Darnall, 2007), targeted parents rated their children as experiencing these eight behavioral manifestations in a way that was generally consistent with Gardner’s theory. Parents reported that their children exhibited the eight behaviors with a high degree of frequency. One exception was alienated children being able to maintain a relationship with some members of the targeted parent’s extended family, which occurred in cases where that relative was actually aligned with the alienating parent. This suggests that the context of the contact with the targeted parent’s extended family (that relative’s role in the alienation) needs to be understood prior to concluding whether this component is present in the child.</p> <p><strong>Study of Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome</strong><br /> Gardner identified parental alienation syndrome only 20 years ago. However, researchers and clinicians have been concerned about these cross-generational alliances for much longer. For example, divorce researchers such as Wallerstein and colleagues (2001) have noted that some children develop unhealthy alliances with one parent while rejecting the other. Family therapists have observed that, when a child is “taller” than a parent (i.e., able to look down on), it is usually because he or she is standing on the shoulders of the other parent (i.e., being supported by). </p> <p>Although this problem has long been of concern to mental health practitioners, little research has been conducted on the specific problem of children rejecting one parent due to the overt or covert influence of the other. In contrast to the dearth of research, demand for knowledge about parental alienation and parental alienation syndrome is overwhelming. There are several Web sites devoted to this problem, many of which receive tens of thousands of visits each year. The few books on divorce that discuss this problem are best sellers, and there are several Internet chat groups comprised of anxious parents who fear that the other parent of their child is turning their child against them. Saddest of all are the parents who have already lost their child to parental alienation syndrome and want to know whether they will ever get the child back.</p> <p>This is the question that guided the current study on parental alienation syndrome of adults who as children had been turned against one parent by their other parent (Baker, 2007). In order to participate in the study, the individuals needed to have been alienated from one parent as a child and had to believe that the alienation was at least in part due to the actions and attitudes of the other parent. Forty adults participated in in-depth, semistructured telephone interviews. A content analysis was conducted. Some of the major themes and research findings relevant to the work of social workers are the following:</p> <p><strong>Findings</strong></p> <p><strong><em>Different Familial Contexts</em></strong><br /> Parental alienation syndrome can occur in intact families, as well as divorced families, and can be fostered by fathers, mothers, and noncustodial and custodial parents. The prototypical case is a bitter ex-wife turning the children against the father in response to postdivorce custody litigation. That is one but not the only pattern. Mental health professionals should be aware that other familial contexts exist within which parental alienation syndrome can occur so as to avoid ruling out parental alienation syndrome as an explanation because the family context does not fit the prototype.</p> <p><strong><em>Emotional, Physical, and Sexual Abuse</em></strong><br /> Many of the interviewees revealed that the alienating parent had emotionally, physically, or sexually abused them. These data should help put to rest the prevailing notion that all children (in their naive wisdom) will ally themselves with the parent better able to attend to their needs. The people interviewed appeared to side with the parent on whom they had become dependent and whose approval they were most afraid of losing, not the parent who was most sensitive or capable. </p> <p><strong><em>Apparent Psychopathology</em></strong><br /> A related finding is that many of the alienating parents appeared to have features of narcissistic and/or have a borderline or antisocial personality disorder, as well as being active alcoholics. Thus, social workers providing individual therapy with a client who may have been alienated from one parent by the other should be aware of the importance of exploring these other abuse and trauma factors in the client’s early history. </p> <p><strong><em>Cult Parallels</em></strong><br /> Cults offer a useful heuristic for understanding parental alienation syndrome. Alienating parents appear to use many emotional manipulation and thought reform strategies that cult leaders use. Awareness of this analogy can help individuals who experienced parental alienation syndrome (and their therapists) understand how they came to ally with a parent who was ultimately abusive and damaging. The analogy is also helpful for understanding the recovery and healing process. </p> <p>The research and clinical literature on recovery from cults offers useful ideas for therapists working with adult children of parental alienation syndrome. For example, the way in which a person leaves a cult has ramifications for the recovery process. Cult members can walk away from a cult, be cast out of a cult, or be counseled out of a cult. Those who walk away (come to the realization on their own that the cult is not healthy for them) and those who are counseled out (those who are exposed to a deliberate experience designed to instigate the desire to leave) tend to fare better than those who are cast out (those who are rejected from the cult for failing to meet its regulations and strictures) (Langone, 1994). </p> <p>Regardless of how the cult is abandoned, leaving represents only the beginning of the recovery process. Considerable time and effort is required (usually in therapy) to process the experience and undo the negative messages from the cult that have become incorporated into the self. The same may be true of adult children of parental alienation syndrome.</p> <p><strong><em>Different Pathways to Realization</em></strong><br /> There appear to be many different pathways to the realization that one has been manipulated by a parent to unnecessarily reject the other parent. Eleven catalysts were described by the interview participants. This represents both good and bad news. The good news is that there are many different ways to evolve from alienation to realization. The bad news is that there is no silver bullet or magic wand to spark that process. For some participants, it was a matter of time and gaining life experience. For others, it was the alienating parent turning on them and, for others, it was becoming a parent and being the target of parental alienation from their own children. For most, the process was just that—a process. </p> <p>There were a few epiphanies, but most experienced something like a slow chipping away of a long-held belief system, a slow awakening to a different truth and a more authentic self. Most gained self-respect and a connection to reality and were grateful to know “the truth.” At the same time, they acknowledged that this truth was hard won and quite painful. Once they were aware of the parental alienation, they had to come to terms with some painful truths, including that the alienating parent did not have their best interest at heart, that as children they had probably behaved very badly toward someone who did not deserve such treatment, and that they missed out on a relationship that may have had real value and benefit to them.</p> <p><strong><em>Long-Term Negative Effects</em></strong><br /> Not surprisingly, the adult children with parental alienation syndrome believed that this experience had negative long-term consequences for them. Many spoke of suffering from depression, turning to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain, failed relationships and multiple divorces and, most sadly, becoming alienated from their own children later in life. In this way, the intergenerational cycle of parental alienation syndrome was perpetuated. </p> <p><strong><em>Wide Range of Alienation Tactics</em></strong><br /> The adult children with parental alienation syndrome described a range of alienating strategies, including constant badmouthing of the targeted parent, chronic interference with visitation and communication, and emotional manipulation to choose one parent over the other. These same strategies were confirmed in a subsequent study of close to 100 targeted parents (Baker & Darnall, 2006). More than 1,300 specific actions described were independently coded into 66 types, 11 of which were mentioned by at least 20% of the sample. There was considerable but not complete overlap in the strategies identified by the targeted parents with those described by adult children.</p> <p><strong>Working With Targeted Parents</strong><br /> Social workers counseling parents who are facing parental alienation need to offer support, education, and guidance. The social worker’s primary role is to help the client become educated about parental alienation (what are primary behaviors that turn a child against the other parent) and parental alienation syndrome (what are the behavioral manifestations of an alienated child) so the parent can determine whether this is in fact the problem. These clients must be encouraged to look at themselves and their relationship with their children prior to blaming the other parent for their difficulties. </p> <p>If the conclusion is that parental alienation is at work, the targeted parent should be taught a series of responses to parental alienation that can allow the targeted parent to maintain the high road while not becoming overly passive or reactive. Such parents need ongoing validation and support in dealing with the pain and suffering associated with parental alienation. </p> <p><strong>Working With Alienated Children</strong><br /> Social workers who come into contact with children currently alienated must be self-reflective and aware so that they do not ally with the child against the targeted parent. A second concern is avoiding becoming intimidated or manipulated by the alienating parent. The child should be helped to develop critical thinking skills in order to enhance his or her ability to resist the pressure to choose sides. The targeted parent and the child’s relationship with that parent must be validated for the child. The social worker can be a role model who values and respects the targeted parent in order to counter the ongoing message that this parent is inadequate and someone to be discarded.</p> <p>In private practice, family service agencies, and school settings, social workers may work with clients affected by parental alienation. Some of these individuals may even be unaware of the source of their pain and suffering and/or uninformed about the name and nature of this phenomenon. Familiarity on the part of the social worker is the first step in providing the client with information, guidance, and hope when dealing with this complicated and painful issue. </p> <p><em>— Amy J. L. Baker, PhD, is director of research at the Vincent J. Fontana Center for Child Protection in New York City and author of <strong>Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind</strong>.</em></p> <p><strong>Resources for Targeted Parents</strong><br /> <strong>Amy J. L. Baker, PhD</strong>: Information about Baker’s book and e-paper, as well as links for Internet and face-to-face support groups for targeted parents and a free 45-minute video, www.amyjlbaker.com</p> <p><strong>Custody Calculation</strong>: Web site with information about a program designed to help parents have input into the creation of custody orders, www.custodycalculations.com</p> <p><strong>Divorce Support</strong>: Web site with information about divorce, www.divorcesupport.com</p> <p><strong>Parental Alienation Awareness Organization</strong>: Web site with information about parental alienation, www.parental-alienation-awareness.com</p> <p><strong>The Rachel Foundation for Family Reintegration</strong>: Organization offering reintegration programs and services for targeted parents and alienated children, www.rachelfoundation.org</p> <p><strong>References</strong><br /> Baker, A. J. L. (2007). <strong><em>Adult children of parental alienation syndrome: Breaking the ties that bind</em></strong>. New York: W. W. Norton.</p> <p>Baker, A. J. L. & Darnall, D. (2006). Behaviors and strategies employed in parental alienation: A survey of parental experiences. <strong><em>Journal of Divorce & Remarriage</em></strong>, 45 (1/2), 97-124.</p> <p>Baker, A. J. L. & Darnall, D. (2007). A construct study of the eight symptoms of severe parental alienation syndrome: A survey of parental experiences. <strong><em>Journal of Divorce & Remarriage</em></strong>, 47(1/2), 55-75.</p> <p>Gardner, R. (1998). <strong><em>The parental alienation syndrome: A guide for mental health and legal professionals</em></strong>. Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics, Inc.</p> <p>Langone, M. (ed) (1994). <strong><em>Recovery from cults: Help for victims of psychological and spiritual abuse</em></strong>. New York: W. W. Norton.</p> <p>Wallerstein, J., Lewis, J., & Blakeslee, S. (2001). <strong><em>The unexpected legacy of divorce: The 25-year landmark study</em></strong>. New York: Hyperion.</p>CAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-22375102307284796382010-02-20T11:00:00.000-08:002010-02-20T11:00:01.281-08:00Study finds obvious "Personality Disorders" in PAS parents<a name="5718634934388104112"></a><h3 class="post-title entry-title"> <a href="http://tietontattler.blogspot.com/2010/02/study-finds-obvious-personality.html">Study finds obvious "Personality Disorders" in PAS parents</a> </h3> <div class="post-body entry-content"> American Journal of Forensic Psychology<br /><br />by Jeffrey C. Siegel, Ph.D. and Joseph S. Langford, Ph.D.<br /><br />MMPI-2 validity scales of two groups of parents going through child custody evaluations, parents who engage in parental alienation syndrome (PAS) behaviors and parents who do not, were compared.<br /><br />It was hypothesized that PAS parents would have significantly higher L and K scales and a significantly lower F scale than parents who do not engage in these behaviors.<br /><br />It was concluded that parents who engage in alienating behaviors are more likely than other parents to use the psychological defenses of denial and projection, which are associated with this validity scale pattern. Implications of this finding regarding possible personality disorders in PAS parents are discussed.<br /><br />Parental alienation syndrome is a term coined by Gardner (1, 2) <b>for the phenomenon in which a child from a broken marriage becomes alienated from one parent due to the active efforts of the other parent to sever their relationship.</b><br /><br />Rand (3) recently provided an extensive review of the literature relevant to this phenomenon, broadening the scope to include writing which described the same or similar Concepts without using Gardner's term.<br /><br />Gardner and others (4, 5) have <b>described numerous behaviors the alienating parent may engage in to harm the child's relationship with the other parent, many of which have been described as "programming" or "brainwashing."</b> For example, the <b>alienating parent is likely to make accusations about the other parent in front of the child, describe the other parent as dangerous or harmful, tell the child that the other parent does not love him or her, and greatly exaggerate the other parent's faults (whether real or imagined). More extreme alienating behaviors include making false accusations of sexual or physical abuse and programming the child to believe that the abuse occurred.</b><br /><br /> According to Gardner, the child becomes aware that the alienating parent wants him or her to hate the other parent and, out of the need to please the alienating parent and to avoid abandonment or rejection, the child joins in the denigration of the other parent.<br /><br />Such dynamics are very familiar to clinicians who work with broken families and who perform custody evaluations.<br /><br />However, little empirical research has yet been reported. A number of questions need to be addressed through research. For example, how prevalent is this phenomenon?<br /><br />Is it correlated with certain personality traits or psychological disorders? What are the short-term and long-term effects on children who are subjected to it? How does a clinician recognize it? Can psychological testing help the clinician discern when it may be present? <br /><br />Opinions have been expressed about many of these questions by Gardner and others, but they have not yet been subjected to hypothesis testing.<br /><br />The present study is an attempt to gain understanding of parents who engage in alienating tactics through a statistical examination of their MMPI-2 validity scales. It was reasoned that if any patterns emerge in the test results of alienating parents, a better understanding of their behaviors might be gained, as well as a psychometric tool to help in the identification of the phenomenon.<br /><br />In this study, the MMPI-2 profiles of divorcing parents exhibiting characteristics of parental alienation syndrome were compared with the standard MMPI-2 normative sample and with the profile of divorcing parents who do not exhibit characteristics of the syndrome.<br /><br />It was reasoned that persons who try to alienate their children from the other parent are likely to have a higher degree of the behaviors associated with high L and K scores and a low F score, including a wish to be seen as near flawless, a heavy use of denial defenses (12), a tendency to be rigid and moralistic, and a <b>low degree of awareness of the consequences of their own behavior to other people</b> (narcisstic) (13).<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> METHOD</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> Subjects</span><br /><br />The subjects for the study were 34 females who completed the MMPI-2 in the course of child custody evaluations. Thirty of the subjects were evaluated in the authors' practice, while four were contributed by another psychologist who frequently serves as an expert witness for the family courts of Dallas, Texas. <b>All of the subjects were involved in child custody litigation and were referred by their attorneys or by the court for psychological evaluation to assist the court in determining the best interest of the children.</b><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> Classification Into Groups</span><br /><br />The PAS criteria were as follows:<br /><br />1.<b>Personally involved in, or involving others in, malicious acts against the other parent<br /><br />2.Engages in excessive litigation for the purpose of limiting the other parent's access to their children<br /><br />3.Attempts to obstruct regular visitation with the other parent<br /><br />4.Obstructs the other parent's participation in the children's school life and extracurricular activities by lack of notification or untimely notification<br /><br />5.Lying to the children<br /><br />6.Lying to others (including, but not limited to, child welfare and child abuse workers, school personnel, medical and psychological professionals)<br /><br />7.Violations of law (court orders, enforceable agreed orders regarding access, etc.)<br /><br />8.False allegations of physical, emotional, and/or sexual abuse (falsehood determined by collateral information from child protective service agencies, physicians, psychologists, or other reputable sources)</b><br /><br />Sixteen subjects met the criteria for classification as PAS parents (age range: 30 years old to 45 years old, mean = 38.1 years), while 18 subjects did not and were placed in the non-PAS subject pool (age range: 27 years old to 44 years old, mean = 36.9 years).<br /><br />Procedure<br />Gardner (2) and Turkat (4), who report that the majority of persons exhibiting alienation behaviors are female.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> RESULTS</span><br /><br />The study's hypothesis was confirmed for two of the three validity scales. Results of the t-tests indicate that mothers exhibiting PAS behaviors had significantly higher scores on the K scale and significantly lower scores on the F scale than both the standard MMPI-2 normative sample and the sample of divorcing mothers who do not engage in parental alienation. There was no significant difference in L scale scores between the alienating and nonalienating groups, although both were higher than the published normative sample. The results of these statistical analyses are presented in Tables 1 and 2. Figure 1 presents the results in T-scores as they would appear on a typical MMPI-2 profile.<br /><br />Table 1. Comparison of Validity Scales of Suspected PAS Mothers In Custody Suits With Standard MMPI-2 Norms<br /><br />Scale PAS Subjects Standard MMPI-2 Norms*<br />M SD M SD t<br />L 5.69 2.8 3.47 1.98 3.17***<br />F 2.25 1.92 3.39 2.64 -2.375**<br />K 22.44 3.48 15.34 4.47 8.161***<br /><br />* Caucasian normative group from Butcher J et al. (15)<br />** p<.01 *** p <.005 Table 2. Comparison of Validity Scales of Suspected PAS and Non-PAS Mothers in Custody Suits Scale PAS Subjects Non-PAS Subjects M SD M SD t L 5.69 2.8 5.46 2.41 .329(ns) F 2.25 1.92 3.23 3.39 -2.042* K 22.44 3.48 18.92 4.25 4.046** * p<.01 ** p<.005 Figure 1. Comparison of Validity Scale Profiles of Suspected PAS Mothers, Non-PAS Mothers and MMPI-2 Normative Group DISCUSSION This study shows that females who exhibit parental alienation syndrome behaviors are likely to produce extremely defensive MMPI-2 profiles. <b>They appear to respond to the MMPI-2 items in such a way as to appear highly virtuous and without emotional problems or difficulties.</b><br /><br />The finding that parental alienators answer the test items even more defensively than other parents in custody suits may shed light on their personality tendencies and may be diagnostically useful.<br /><br />Gardner (2) has written that parents who make false allegations of child abuse, perhaps the most extreme expression of parental alienation, are likely to exhibit characteristics of histrionic, borderline, or paranoid personality disorders. Although they did not use the term parental alienation, Wakefield and Underwager (16) found, in a comparison of parents making false allegations in custody disputes with parents not making such allegations, that those making false allegations were more likely to have a diagnosis of a personality disorder, consistent with Gardner's (2) assertions.<br /><br />The findings of this study lend further empirical support to Gardner's belief that <b>PAS may be associated with certain personality disorders and their associated patterns of psychological defense.</b> A highly defensive MMPI-2 validity scale pattern, as was <b>found among PAS parents, suggests psychological defenses which are typically used by people with the externalizing personality disorders (histrionic, borderline, narcissistic, and paranoid).</b><br /><br />The tendency to see oneself as "all good" (expressed on the MMPI-2 through high L and K scales and a low F scale) <b>suggests the use of splitting, projection, and denial.</b> People with K scales as high as those produced by the parental alienators in this study are generally described as psychologically unsophisticated, as using denial heavily, and employing defensive distortions (12, 13).<br /><br />In the context of a divorce and custody dispute, <b>a person who produces a profile like those in this study would appear to be denying any personal responsibility for the divorce or family problems, seeing themselves as flawless, presumably a victim of the ex-spouse.</b><br /><br /> A person with a more mature defensive structure would be likely to see the matter in more reasonable terms, having less need to deny any responsibility, and be better able to modulate their emotions and give less extreme, more honest answers to the MMPI-2 questions.<br /><br />Ehrenberg et al. (17) have <b>found that parents with narcissistic personality disturbances were less likely than other parents to cooperate with the ex-spouse after the divorce and to be able to focus on their children's needs.</b><br /><br /><b>It may be that parents who exhibit parental alienation syndrome are unable to cope with their personal hurt and disappointment about the dissolution of the marriage through a more mature grieving process and finding new ego supports. It is likely that they cope with their hurt and anger by villainizing the ex-spouse and, perhaps unwittingly, by enlisting their children to help repair their damaged sense of self by having the children join in the splitting and projection of responsibility onto the other parent. Johnston (18) has written that parents who are narcissistically vulnerable are more likely to use the more immature defenses of denial and externalization.</b><br /><br />In child custody related psychological evaluations, the clinician should use multiple sources of data to arrive at conclusions (19). When parental alienation syndrome is a diagnostic possibility in mothers, a highly elevated K scale with a depressed F scale may be evidence of the defensive distortions which are associated with the syndrome. This MMPI-2 pattern may alert the clinician to the possible presence of the syndrome, which should be further evaluated through interviews, observations, examination of collateral sources, and other test data. An examination of the MMPI-2 profiles of fathers who exhibit parental alienation tendencies is needed to determine whether they show the same pattern.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> REFERENCES</span><br /><br />1. Gardner RA: The Parental Alienation Syndrome and the Differentiation between Fabricated and Genuine Child Sexual Abuse. Creskill, NJ, Creative Therapeutics, 1987<br /><br />2. Gardner RA: The Parental Alienation Syndrome: A Guide for Mental Health and Legal Professionals. Creskill, NJ, Creative Therapeutics, 1992<br /><br />3. Rand DC: The spectrum of parental alienation syndrome (part 1). American Journal of Forensic Psychology 1997; 15:3:3-52<br /><br />4. Turkat D: Child visitation interference in divorce. Clinical Psychology Review 1994; 14:8:737-742<br /><br />5. Clavar SS, Rivlin BV: Children Held Hostage: Dealing with Programmed and Brainwashed Children. Chicago, American Bar Association, 1991<br /><br />6. Cartwright GF: Expanding the parameters of parental alienation syndrome. American Journal of Family Therapy 1993; 21:3:205-215<br /><br />7. Dunne J, Hedrick M: The parental alienation syndrome: an analysis of sixteen selected cases. Journal of Divorce and Remarriage 1994; 21:3-4:21-38<br /><br />8. Lund M: A therapist's view of parental alienation syndrome. Family and Conciliation Courts Review 1995; 33:3:308-316<br /><br />9. Blush GJ, Ross KL: Investigation and case management issues and strategies. Issues in Child Abuse Accusations 1990; 2:3:152-160<br /><br />10. Johnston JR, Campbell LE: Impasses of Divorce: The Dynamics and Resolution of Family Conflict. New York, The Free Press, 1988<br /><br />11. Daubert v. Merrill Dow Pharmaceuticals, Inc., 113 S. Ct. 2786 (1993)<br /><br />12. Greene RL: The MMPI-2/MMPI: An Interpretive Manual. Boston, Allyn and Bacon, 1991<br /><br />13. Graham JR: MMPI-2: Assessing Personality and Psychopathology. New York, Oxford University Press, 1993<br /><br />14. Siegel JC: Traditional MMPI-2 validity indicators and initial presentation in custody evaluations. American Journal of Forensic Psychology 1996; 14:3:55-63<br /><br />15. Butcher J, Dahlstrom G, Graham J, Tellegen A, Kaemmer B: MMPI-2: Manual for Administration and Scoring. Minneapolis, University of Minnesota Press, 1989; 105-106<br /><br />16. Wakefield H, Underwager R: Personality characteristics of parents making false accusations of sexual abuse in custody disputes. Issues in Child Abuse Accusations 1990; 2:3:121-136<br /><br />17. Ehrenberg ME, Hunter MA, Elterman ME: Shared parenting agreements after marital separation: the roles of empathy and narcissism. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 1996; 62:4:808-818<br /><br />18. Johnston JR: Children of divorce who refuse visitation, in Nonresidential Parenting: New Vistas in Family Living. Edited by Depner CE, Bray JH. London, Sage Publications, 1993<br /><br />19. Guidelines for Child Custody Evaluations in Divorce Proceedings. American Psychologist 1994; 49:7:677-680<br /><br /> <span style="font-weight: bold;">ABOUT THE AUTHORS</span><br /><br />Jeffrey C. Siegel, Ph.D. is a forensic and clinical psychologist in private practice in Dallas, Texas. He is a Fellow of the American College of Forensic Psychology.<br /><br />Joseph S. Langford, Ph.D. is a forensic and clinical psychologist in private practice in Dallas, Texas. He recently relocated to Texas from Atlanta, Georgia, where he was in practice for several years. </div> <div class="post-footer-line post-footer-line-1"><span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn">Pony Xpress</span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="http://tietontattler.blogspot.com/2010/02/study-finds-obvious-personality.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" title="2010-02-15T06:51:00-08:00">6:51 AM</abbr></a> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"> </span> <span class="post-icons"> <span class="item-action"> <a href="email-post.g?blogID=3760492972115876212&postID=5718634934388104112" title="Email Post"> <img alt="" class="icon-action" src="img/icon18_email.gif" height="13" width="18" /> </a> </span> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-1246851984"> <a href="post-edit.g?blogID=3760492972115876212&postID=5718634934388104112" title="Edit Post"> <img alt="" class="icon-action" src="img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif" height="18" width="18" /> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-backlinks post-comment-link"> </span> </div> <div class="post-footer-line post-footer-line-2"><span class="post-labels"> Labels: <a href="http://tietontattler.blogspot.com/search/label/abusive%20mothers" rel="tag">abusive mothers</a>, <a href="http://tietontattler.blogspot.com/search/label/extreme%20parental%20alienation" rel="tag">extreme parental alienation</a>, <a href="http://tietontattler.blogspot.com/search/label/hatefull%20x%20wife" rel="tag">hatefull x wife</a>, <a href="http://tietontattler.blogspot.com/search/label/Linda%20hates%20Bruce" rel="tag">Linda hates Bruce</a>, <a href="http://tietontattler.blogspot.com/search/label/lying%20mother" rel="tag">lying mother</a>, <a href="http://tietontattler.blogspot.com/search/label/mental%20health" rel="tag">mental health</a>, <a href="http://tietontattler.blogspot.com/search/label/mentally%20ill%20mothers" rel="tag">mentally ill mothers</a>, <a href="http://tietontattler.blogspot.com/search/label/narcissistic%20mother" rel="tag">narcissistic mother</a>, <a href="http://tietontattler.blogspot.com/search/label/PAS" rel="tag">PAS</a>, <a href="http://tietontattler.blogspot.com/search/label/psycho%20mothers" rel="tag">psycho mothers</a> </span> </div>CAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-37335664579292510422010-02-20T09:00:00.000-08:002010-02-20T09:00:00.939-08:00Custody and Parental Alienation in Divorce - Immediate Actions to Take and Prevent It<a name="4969002053990627585"></a> <h3 class="post-title entry-title"> <a href="http://afathersvision.blogspot.com/2010/02/custody-and-parental-alienation-in.html">Custody and Parental Alienation in Divorce - Immediate Actions to Take and Prevent It</a> </h3> <iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=633664017231918236&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=0393705196&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="padding-top: 5px; width: 131px; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px;" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" align="left" scrolling="no" frameborder="0"></iframe><iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=633664017231918236&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=0398076472&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="padding-top: 5px; width: 131px; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px;" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" align="left" scrolling="no" frameborder="0"></iframe>Custody and Parental Alienation in Divorce - Immediate Actions to Take to Prevent It<br />By <a href="http://afathersvision.blogspot.com/2010/02/%5Bhttp://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Dianne_Ophelia]">Dianne Ophelia </a><br /><br />The most important thing you can do to prevent Parental Alienation in your Divorce or Custody Case is to Act Quickly. Whatever actions you decide to take, don't wait. Every day that passes takes you further and further away from your Children.<br /><br />Actions You can Take Through the Court System:<br /><br />1. Document everything, absolutely everything. What occurred, what the other parent said, what you said, any statements and behavior of the children, every day.<br /><br />2. Take your documentation to your attorney and explain to them that you don't want to wait to obtain custody relief from the court. Often attorneys will want you to wait 60 to 90 days or longer, which could then be too late for the children.<br /><br />3. Ask for very specific Child Custody Court Orders about disparaging the other parent in front of the children; that the other parent shall encourage and see that the children exercise their time with you; and, that therapy commence immediately for the children and the parents to assist everyone in understanding how detrimental parental alienation is to children now and for years to come.<br /><br />4. Make certain the aforementioned Child Custody Court Orders have "teeth." You want swift and specific remedies if the order is violated, such as a loss of time with the children by the violating parent, change of primary custody and/or mandatory therapy.<br /><br />5. If the Court has the facilities for a "Case Coordinator" or "Case Management" ask that this is implemented so that you have someone you can directly report to about the activities that are taking place and they can then report directly to the court to obtain immediate remedial orders.<br /><br />6. Continue to return to custody court with each violation of a court order by the opposing party. You need to establish right from the beginning, that you are not going to sit back and passively allow this type of behavior to continue.<br /><br />7. Ask for primary custody in each instance, explaining that the more time the children spend with the obsessive parent, the more likely the alienation will worsen to the point that it will be irremediable.<br /><br />Actions You can Take Personally<br /><br />1. Keep the children out of the conflict and be certain not to engage in ANY of the behaviors of the other parent;<br /><br />2. Never blame the children for their behavior. They are innocent victims and don't<br />understand what is being done to them. This is often difficult when they "act out."<br /><br />3. Keep communication with the children open at all times. Purchase a cell phone for them to call you whenever they feel like it.<br /><br />4. Stay interested in the Childrens' lives, their activities, friends, what they are interested in, movies, magazines etc. Let them know you want to be and are part of their life.<br /><br />5. Send or give the children pictures, small presents or other reminders of you often.<br /><br />6. Go to as many activities as possible. Even if it is a hostile environment, just show up and stay in the background, so the children can see that you are there, yet stay far away enough so that the children and/or the other parent cannot start a fight or have an emotional outburst.<br /><br />7. Never play the victim, even though you are being victimized. Stay upbeat with the children and let them know they can feel totally comfortable with you.<br /><br />8. Make certain the children know that you are not blaming them for their bad behavior, when the behavior is a direct result of the alienation. You don't want the children to avoid being with you because they feel guilty about prior bad behavior. They have to know that they have been and will continue to be forgiven. Be compassionate, but do set firm boundaries.<br /><br /><br />AND, MOST IMPORTANT, DON'T GIVE UP! Your children will appreciate all of your efforts, if not immediately, than once they mature and look back at the situation.<br /><br /> Your efforts will not go unrewarded; you may just have to be very patient waiting for the reward.<br /><br />Click Here For More Information about <a href="http://afathersvision.blogspot.com/2010/02/%5Bhttp://www.fatherswincustody.com/%5D">FATHERS WINNING CUSTODY.<br /></a><br />Dianne R. Ophelia is a Certified Family Law Specialist and is known as THE 30 YEAR DIVORCE EXPERT. She has been litigating custody and divorce cases for over 30 years, having obtained her Juris Doctorate Degree in 1977. She is considered a leader and innovator in her field.<br /><br />It is Ms. Ophelia's goal to assist anyone going through the divorce or custody process by empowering them with the knowledge and ability to protect their interests both inside and outside of the Judicial System. Ms. Ophelia's writings, whether in her books, ebooks, articles or blogs, are always comprehensive, informative and easy to understand.<br /><br />Click Here For Information About The Ebooks Listed Below On <a href="http://afathersvision.blogspot.com/2010/02/%5Bhttp://www.edivorcesource.com/%5D">DIVORCE AND CUSTODY<br /></a><br />Those Books currently available include:<br /><br /><br />Community Property<br />Divorce, A Survival Guide, 3rd Edition (For US Residents)<br />Divorce, a Survival Guide (For California Residents only)<br />Fathers Winning Custody <br />Several New Titles will be Released Soon.<br /><br />Dianne also provides Family Law Divorce and Custody Mediation Services anywhere in the United States and Canada.<br /><br />Article Source: <a href="http://afathersvision.blogspot.com/2010/02/%5Bhttp://EzineArticles.com/?Custody-and-Parental-Alienation-in-Divorce---Immediate-Actions-to-Take-to-Prevent-It&id=2270778]">[http://EzineArticles.com/?Custody-and-Parental-Alienation-in-Divorce---Immediate-Actions-to-Take-to-Prevent-It&id=2270778]</a> Custody and Parental Alienation in Divorce - Immediate Actions to Take to Prevent ItCAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4214895266039607758.post-83774578158459960372010-02-19T17:30:00.000-08:002010-02-19T17:30:00.291-08:00Parental Alienation Syndrome - The Problem<div id="article"> <h1>Parental Alienation Syndrome - The Problem</h1> <h4 class="byline">By <a href="mailto:rsommer@shaw.ca?subject=ExpertLaw_Reader_Inquiry">Reena Sommer, Ph.D.</a></h4> <h4 class="byline2"><a href="http://www.reenasommerassociates.mb.ca/">Family Life Consultant</a></h4> <h4 class="dateline">Submitted January, 2002</h4> <div id="artadwrapper"> <div id="artad" class="rightlarge"> <script type="text/javascript"><!-- google_ad_client = "pub-0305756215531385"; //ExpertLaw Library, 300x250, ATF google_ad_slot = "8313589331"; google_ad_width = 300; google_ad_height = 250; //--></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"> </script><script src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/expansion_embed.js"></script><script src="http://googleads.g.doubleclick.net/pagead/test_domain.js"></script><script>google_protectAndRun("ads_core.google_render_ad", google_handleError, google_render_ad);</script><ins style="display: inline-table; border: medium none; height: 250px; margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt; position: relative; visibility: visible; width: 300px;"><ins style="display: block; border: medium none; height: 250px; margin: 0pt; padding: 0pt; position: relative; visibility: visible; width: 300px;"><iframe allowtransparency="true" hspace="0" id="google_ads_frame1" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" name="google_ads_frame" src="http://googleads.g.doubleclick.net/pagead/ads?client=ca-pub-0305756215531385&output=html&h=250&slotname=8313589331&w=300&lmt=1264807782&flash=10.0.32&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.expertlaw.com%2Flibrary%2Fchild_custody%2Fparental_alienation.html&dt=1266593039975&correlator=1266593039977&jscb=1&jscd=1&frm=0&ga_vid=1544054497.1266593040&ga_sid=1266593040&ga_hid=1060013036&ga_fc=0&u_tz=-480&u_his=1&u_java=1&u_h=768&u_w=1366&u_ah=728&u_aw=1366&u_cd=24&u_nplug=13&u_nmime=54&biw=1366&bih=483&ref=http%3A%2F%2Ffamilylawmarin.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F02%2Fparental-alien-syndrome.html&fu=0&ifi=1&dtd=72&xpc=Q8G3c7NRaS&p=http%3A//www.expertlaw.com" style="left: 0pt; position: absolute; top: 0pt;" vspace="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" height="250" width="300"></iframe></ins></ins> </div> </div> <p>Parental alienation syndrome (PAS) has only recently been recognized in the literature as a phenomenon occurring with sufficient frequency and with particular defining characteristics as to warrant recognition. Today, PAS is attracting the attention of clinicians, researchers, social service agencies, parent groups and the legal community. As well, it is an issue that has fuelled considerable debate with respect to the validity of its existence. In spite of the divisiveness that has evolved around this topic, one issue that few will debate is the fact that too many children are caught in a "tug of war" between their separated parents.</p> <p>Parental alienation syndrome has been variously defined. Based on my background in family studies as well as my observations of client families, I have developed the following definition:</p> <p class="indent">"..the deliberate attempt by one parent (and/or guardian/significant other) to distance his/her children from the other parent and in doing so, the parent engages the children in the process of destroying the affectional and familial bonds that once existed"</p> <p>Parental alienation develops over time and the distancing that occurs, includes some or all of the following features:</p> <ul><li> <p>A parent speaks badly or demeans the other parent directly to the child(ren) </p> </li><li> <p>A parent speaks badly or demeans the other parent to others in the presence (or within audible distance) of the child(ren) </p> </li><li> <p>A parent discusses with the child(ren) the circumstances under which the marriage broke down </p> </li><li> <p>A parent exposes the child(ren) to the details of the parents' ongoing conflict, financial problems and legal proceedings </p> </li><li> <p>A parent blames the other parent for changes in life style, any current hardships, his/her negative emotional state and inability to function as before </p> </li><li> <p>Child(ren) come to know that in order to please one parent, they must turn against the other parent </p> </li><li> <p>Allegations of sexual, physical and emotional abuse of a child(ren) are often made. </p> </li></ul> <p>These features exemplify the denigrating diagnostic criterion set out by Dr. Richard Gardner in his discussion of PAS. In addition, a key feature of PAS is that it is almost exclusively associated with a separation/divorce situation. Similarly, allegations of abuse made following separation also have no prior history, nor upon investigation are they found to have any basis.</p> <p>Children exposed to the ongoing conflict and hostility of their parents suffer tremendously. The guilt children experience when their parents' first separate, is exacerbated by the added stress of being made to feel that their love and attachment for one parent is contingent on their abandoning the other. Although they are powerless to end the struggle between their parents, they come to believe that if they turn against one in favour of the other, the unhappiness they experience on an ongoing basis will also end.</p> <p>The challenge for counsellors and family services workers is to find ways of sparing children the emotional pain and stress that result when they are caught in their parents' crossfire. It involves helping parents understand the harm being done to their children through their actions, helping them find peace and reassurance in leading a life separate from each other and helping them develop effective ways of co-parenting. The challenge for lawyers is to discern whether the actions taken and allegations made by a client are based on genuine concerns for their child(ren)'s safety and well-being, or motivated by revenge, leverage for child support, fear of losing his/her children and the role of father/mother.</p> <p class="copyright">Copyright © 2002 <a href="mailto:rsommer@shaw.ca?subject=ExpertLaw_Reader_Inquiry">Reena Sommer</a>. All rights reserved. No portion of this article may be reproduced without the express written permission of the copyright holder, except as follows: You may link this article to your website, either directly or through an <a href="http://www.expertlaw.com/library/">ExpertLaw Library</a> index page, provided your link does not depict this article, its author, or expertlaw.com in a negative manner.</p> <p class="about"><strong>About the Author</strong>: Dr. <a href="mailto:rsommer@shaw.ca?subject=ExpertLaw_Reader_Inquiry">Reena Sommer</a> is a family life consultant with a private practice in Winnipeg. Telephone: (204) 487-7247.</p> </div>CAconservativehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15945217049014607719noreply@blogger.com0